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Post by Chester on Jan 31, 2007 15:43:53 GMT -5
I'm more frustrated with the professionals at school than I am JT.
They wrote a note in JT's notebook yesterday about JT's behavior problems, especially hitting and pushing. They put JT's notebook in somebody else's backpack yesterday so I didn't get it until this morning.
I've told them over and over they need to consistent and tough with JT. He has taken them all hostage, and is having a hayday!
I've told the adults before that the only time JT hits or pushes at home is when he's frustrated. I've given them ideas on ways to make JT communicate at school, I've given them ideas on how not to set him up to push. I keep getting the note that JT pushes his friends while standing in line. I've suggested over and over that JT NOT be put in the middle of a line, he can't handle that much stimulation. Or if he is in the middle an adult is going to have to stand very near him and watch him and catch him before he pushes and ask him to say "no" or "stop" etc. etc.etc....
I AM frustrated with them at school. SO WISHY WASHY! They are honestly over their heads. AUGH!
Okay now that I have this all out, I've got to figure out what to write in his notebook....maybe just "thanks for the update".
Dawn
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Post by MB on Jan 31, 2007 16:14:06 GMT -5
I feel your pain! You poor thing.
mb
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Post by Chester on Jan 31, 2007 17:29:24 GMT -5
I was venting, but am open to any words of wisdom!
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Post by MB on Jan 31, 2007 17:48:05 GMT -5
O.K. here goes with the advice.
J.T. hits. Everyone stops and the victim tells his side of the story. J. T.'s advocate (a person who saw what transpired) tells J.T.'s side of the story. If J.T. is in the wrong, he apologizes to his victim even if it is signing hand over hand and then practices getting back in line three times without hitting anyone.
If J.T. was provoked, the teacher handles the provoker and the kids hand out some street justice on the playground!
We have to make hitting not work for J.T.. The teacher/para can show no emotion when putting him through the exercise. He should be doing the work. If the adults show frustration, J.T. has prevailed.
mb
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Post by trishasmom on Jan 31, 2007 17:50:18 GMT -5
I was venting, but am open to any words of wisdom! I have words, not necessarily of wisdom though. :-) First of all I'd ask them to be more careful about putting his notebook in someone else's bookbag you know the privacy issue thing. :-) Second I'd ask if your suggestions on how to help JT from becomeing frustrated were implemented and if not why. Does he have a behavioral plan? If not you may say you want a FBA done. Also, from now on tell them you want data collection done stating what was going on prior to the behavior, during and after the behavior and you want this to be documented and sent home daily. I warned you it would be words just not necessarily full of wisdom just thoughts. :-) |
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Post by theresaolohan on Jan 31, 2007 17:51:46 GMT -5
hi had this problem with Daniel very frustrating. The teacher would not let him go to dancing class or use the computer until he behaved appropratily. It took a good few months for Daniel to get the hang of behaving. That was last year this year he is so good. Hang on in there the teacher and assistants must reinforce good behaviour. Daniel used to get overstimulated with standing in a line with a lot of children , yes it is very frustrating on parent and child. regards theresa
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Post by CC on Jan 31, 2007 19:21:59 GMT -5
Just a few thoughts ...
~ Have you been in lately to observe how things are going in the school. Sometimes just sitting back watching how things go and then suggesting to them later how it might work better for your little man might work.
~ Just another thought but maybe get a behaviorist in there to help these adults learn what they should be doing to help JT. It maybe as simple as they don't have a clue and just need guidance, KWIM Sometimes Teachers take advise better from other colleagues then the parents, not all but some I have found do.
CC ~
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Post by Haleysmom on Feb 1, 2007 9:28:53 GMT -5
Amen CC! Haley is in 5th grade - we have middle school in our city as opposed to junior high, anyway they are preparing the kids for the transition (started in January) with lockers, changing classes, much larger population, we are going to treat you like middle schoolers and on and on. Now let me be clear 1st thru 4th grade Haley had the same resource teacher and not 1 call regarding behavior, this year she has a new (guessing about 25-26 y/o teacher who is very enthusiastic BUT I'm thinking needs to have more control. Anyway I have gotten 4 calls during the school day with "Haley is just doodling" Haley is just writing silly sentences" "I told Haley I was going to call her mom - she said to say hello"  So you see how much of a threat this is to Haley. Finally on the 4th call, I suggested maybe they were overloading Haley about all the "new" things and she can't seem to communicate that to them, I then suggested the teacher have a behavoirist view the class and see exactly what is making this happen. I also spoke w/Haley's one on one aid and she feels it is just Haley copying others and it's really no big deal. |
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Post by Jessie on Feb 1, 2007 15:46:12 GMT -5
LOL about Haley telling them to say hello to you! That's priceless!
I have found that when it comes to behavioral issues at school (which have been very few this year knock on wood), it really does help when you drill them on what exactly was happening at the time something occurred. I was there to witness Jason getting really frustrated with another kid until I told the other kid to back off (he was shoving food in Jason's face that he didn't want). The teacher was out of the room and the only aide in the room was working with another student. I thought, huh, if I wouldn't have seen that, it would have turned into "Jason pushed me or hit me" and Jason would have been in trouble. Now, Jason should not hit or push someone, however, the other kid was pestering him and was ignoring the fact that Jason was shaking his head trying to get him to stop.
There's always two sides to every story and I think that if you press that issue with them to get the entire story they will start to look at things the same way and hopefully not call you everytime something happens or send notes home. There's nothing more frustrating than getting a vague note, "Jason pushed so and so today." Um, ok, WHY? What was happening? What was the punishment for Jason? How was it handled? These notes stopped coming home very quickly after we started asking questions and trying to get to the root of the problem. I by no means am a bully protector and Jason will get into hot water if he is mean, etc., however, due to his communication issues we need to have all of the facts before we point the finger at the kid that can't defend himself, KWIM?
When kids have behavioral issues it's because there is something else going on . . . their bored, they don't like someone, they don't understand something, they can't communicate well, etc. Since you can't be at school with JT all the time (although I think CC's suggestion to observe is great), the teachers need to understand what is provoking him and figure out how to deal with it! The behavioral plan is a good suggestion as well.
Oh yeah, I did stop responding to the vague notes that would come home in his notebook. If they give me specifics I address it, otherwise what exactly do they expect us to do with such vague info several hours after something has happened??
Jessie
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So you see how much of a threat this is to Haley. Finally on the 4th call, I suggested maybe they were overloading Haley about all the "new" things and she can't seem to communicate that to them, I then suggested the teacher have a behavoirist view the class and see exactly what is making this happen. I also spoke w/Haley's one on one aid and she feels it is just Haley copying others and it's really no big deal.
