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Post by char on Apr 13, 2007 21:33:51 GMT -5
That e-mail infuriated me, and I didn't receive it. I can't imagine HOW angry I would be if someone had sent it to me. Our children and grandchildren (in my case) are precious to each of us. I know stupidity is not illegal but it should be.
Char
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Post by Emilysmom on Apr 13, 2007 21:43:58 GMT -5
Jenifer, I would be hurt and furious too!! I'm always amazed by the fact that even ADULTS seem to find humor in hurtful things like this.
At the risk of totally highjacking your post, I have a couple of experiences to share: I will never forget going on a Boy Scout camping trip with Jordan a year or so ago. There was a woman who had worked hard to plan all the activities for the camping weekend for the boys..........and there were a LOT of boys there!! At the evening bonfire, a group of parents gave her a gift certificate and a big THANK YOU. She said.....and I quote: "Awww thanks you guys!!!! You make me feel SO special, and I do NOT mean in a SHORT BUS kind of way". I was stunned. And I was "pleased" (not really the best word) that there was this very uncomfortable silence after she said it. It seemed to me that I was not the only one who didn't think it was funny. For the remainder of the camp out, I planned to find a time to go and talk to her. But, in the end, I never said a word...........and I still kick myself for it!!
And...............quite a few years ago, when I first got online, I got an email with a joke (I don't remember the punch line, but it was basically making fun of President Clinton) and I chuckled to myself and promptly forwarded it to everyone I knew!! I got several responses from people who said they did not find it to be funny and they would rather not receive things like that. I was totally shocked. I went back and read the joke again, and really thought about it. And it wasn't till that moment that I realized it really WAS in very bad taste and not so funny after all! Although it was embarassing, I'm glad people took the time to write to me. I learned from that situation.
I said all of that to say that people really do say things and forward things without taking the time to really THINK. And at other times, they DO think about it and don't realize that it is hurtful. I think, if we hope to help prevent emails like this from continuing, we sort of have to step up to the plate and explain to people why it's wrong. It can be uncomfortable to do it..........but I think if WE don't do it, who will?
Susan
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Post by kellyds on Apr 13, 2007 21:58:27 GMT -5
Can someone educate me? Obviously, "short bus" is a euphemism for special ed kids, but why? I've homeschooled for the past ten years, and I'm thinking this is some sort of school slang that I've missed. Surely they don't really put kids on a separate bus? Am I being too literal?
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Post by momofrussell on Apr 13, 2007 22:20:08 GMT -5
Yes, Kelly, in most districts, the spec ed kids are on a seperate bus then the typical kids. The bus is yellow like the bigger busses but some of them are shorter. Russell's bus this year is regular size but it's still just for the spec ed kids. Spec ed kids get door to door service and Reece and Regan have to walk to the bus stop. That is why it's seperate. There are kids that go with siblings on their bus too though!
A.
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Post by lespring on Apr 13, 2007 22:53:49 GMT -5
I did get a similar offensive email just a couple weeks ago. I replied back with a very simple statement:
"Consider me offended and in shock."
This person, who I emailed with on a daily basis, did not email me for several days. Finally she wrote back, "I am so sorry, I am speechless."
That was all we said about it, and all that needed to be said.
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Post by kellyds on Apr 13, 2007 23:05:33 GMT -5
I guess I can see using a different bus if it takes extra time to load some kids, and the driver has to go up to their door and so forth . . . as long as the spec ed kids who are able are allowed to ride the "regular" bus. Thanks for explaining.
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Post by Mary_L. on Apr 14, 2007 6:15:35 GMT -5
I would be hurt too. To me, this isn't the same as using the word retarded to describe something~this is a deliberately making fun of people with disabilities.
I do think you should let her know that you were hurt~it is a good chance to educate someone and hopefully they would think twice before doing it in the future.
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Post by Emilysmom on Apr 14, 2007 7:33:07 GMT -5
Bob, I couldn't agree more!! I don't think that I have lost my sense of humor at all. I laugh a LOT each day............but NOT at the expense of others. And not at anything that is demeaning, like this email.
I do think we can and should work on the MANNER in which we teach others that this sort of thing is not appropriate..........if we handle it right, people learn so much more than if we get so hateful about it that they write us off as "overly sensitive". I can't help but think that we'd still be using the term "Mongoloid" today, if someone hadn't taken a stand. The "N" word would still be used if someone hadn't taken a stand. Of course, there are days when I do get exhausted with feeling the need to "educate". But I do think it can be done in a manner that can help people learn and not feel put down.
A few weeks ago at work, a co-worker I really like said "I can't believe I did that. I'm so retarded". I quickly said................."Retarded isn't stupid; it just means slower to learn". She immediately replied "yes, like I said.......I'm so retarded"!! THEN you could see it in her eyes.....she remembered Emily. She smiled and said "I see what you're saying". We didn't dwell on it at all. We were laughing and talking a minute later and all was well. But I think she realized why her use of that word was wrong. I hope she will think twice about using that term; not only when she is around me, but all the time. She has teen aged kids. Maybe she'll teach them.........and on it goes.
Susan
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Post by ALLISA on Apr 14, 2007 8:49:54 GMT -5
Right after Erin ws born, I got something silinar....though not as cruel as yours was. It was from my COUSIN A cousin I am not particuallry close with and she has a weird sense of humor and has offended others in the past.....so I chose to ignore it and figured....that is who she is.....well....thankfully the rest of my family did not ignore it.....all emailed her back and told her how thoughtless it was....and she actually e-mailed me and apologized....a first as far as I know. But, for me......I think the underlying feeling is jsut sadness that others find humor in it.....I feel it is a mean humor...... Similar to how I felt when I read the comments on the Youtube regarding the video that teaches girls about their periods and how to handle all that with a child that has developmenatl delays..... The struggle of these kids shouldn't be entertainment for others.
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Post by momofrussell on Apr 14, 2007 9:00:22 GMT -5
YES.. that's it... MEAN humor!! I am SOOO not into that! I do like comics and can laugh at ALOT.. I mean, generally life is just not that serious...but this just goes beyond that.
I decided yesterday early on to GOOGLE the title of the email.. seems it has floated the net for awhile and I don't even see there being a specific day like stated... I saw at one place it was done in Nov of last year even. BUT... most of the sites where they blog and talk about this...were a bunch of younger youths that again, get their rocks off just demeaning others and each other in general. It's not like we are privy to the bashing... they just get off on doing this kind of stuff to EVERYONE.... and to each other...makes you wonder why they have THIS much time to negate SOO much about the world LOL
A.
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Post by ALLISA on Apr 14, 2007 9:04:50 GMT -5
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Post by char on Apr 14, 2007 9:56:30 GMT -5
Allisa, thank you. I sat here with tears streaming down my face as I watched the second video. It was simply beautiful.
Char
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Post by ALLISA on Apr 14, 2007 10:28:58 GMT -5
Char....I got that link HERE of course !! And I think some of the kids from this site grace the pictures..... I've got a bunch of "happy links" like these....people post them here and I save them on my favorites.....I've gota "happy link folder" ;D
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Post by chasesmom on Apr 14, 2007 12:14:01 GMT -5
All I am going to say is that if somthing offends us that much, it is our job to fix the problem. Your REACTION needs to lead to ACTION. How we choose to take that action for each of us is individual, but action needs to be taken. I am so disgusted and sick of this kind of stuff being allowed. I am well known for the lecture I give whenever and wherever I am at work and hear the word "retard" come out of the mouth of my students and fellow staff. I have learned to ignore alot of things since the birth of Chase, including the stares, but never will I allow people to degrade my son or any one else with a disability of any kind. Believe it or not.....LOL, I can even do it gently or kindly when it calls for it I'm with Jackie....enough is enough, other words wouldn't be allowed on television or the radio or other slang terms, so why is it okay to use it with our disabled population? Robin
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Post by Renee' on Apr 14, 2007 12:28:56 GMT -5
I love that second video D is for Down Syndrome. So beautiful!
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