Shirt ripping and behaviors hmmmm

[Jodi]

Well, I am at a loss again. I know every year around May/June Ryan looses it, but the past few weeks have been miserable.

He has started taking pencils, pushing them through his shirt and then making the holes huge. Yesterday he ruined a real nice Adidas shirt. I had to go to the school for a follow-up triannual meeting, and there he was with a big hole sitting there not doing his work. His teacher and and her assistants were saying he is being super defiant about everything. He is taking off his shoes and socks, taking things away from other kids, blah blah blah. It was lunch time when I was there. He had another shirt in his backpack but I told him he couldn't wear it because I didn't like what he was doing with his clothes. He wanted to throw his shirt in the trash and I said ok but that he would have to dig it out and put it back on if he wanted to go to lunch. So he threw it away and a few minutes later dug it out, but then took his shoes off. So I said "oh well, I guess no lunch for you today". He just sat there.

I was supposed to take him to Disneyland today but I made him go to school in the same shirt and said we could go later if he could hold it together... trying to make a point with him. He did okay in the morning but then lost it again in the afternoon, so I canceled Disneyland altogether. I just don't know sometimes. He has these great days where there are zero behaviors, then there are weeks like this one where its like he is another kid.

So, you behavior "pros" out there, any advice???

Thanks!

Jodi

[Ericsmomma]

Jodi,
I just went through this same type of behavior with Eric (almost 7yrs...in contained kindy
class). I wanted to rule out something physical so I made appt with pediatrician. That morning he woke up with a temp and fluid coming out of his ear...he did have a raging ear
infection. So that might attribute to some of the behavior. Now that he is on the antibiotic he has calmed down somewhat, but I think its not the cure all for the behavior.
Then I was thinking, alot a "typical" kids start to act up during the last few days of school...
I heard that alot this past week (i work in ped office). Parents with kids on ADHD meds are calling to "increase" their dosage because the teacher's say they "need more". Maybe its
just an "end of the school year thing"...you know, excited, bored, tired etc. I sure hope so.

[Chris too]

Could it be allergies? I mean, it may not be just spring fever, but hay fever.

Dolly's comment about "end of the school year thing" makes me wonder: have you asked his teacher about the behavior of the other kids in class? If he's particularly to the emotions of others, it could be that he's picking up on their antsyness.

What to do about this behavior: I think you are doing the right things. This too shall pass; summer will arrive and Ryan can run and play, and all will be right with the world again. I know, noone wants to get "wait" for an answer, but it's the best I have. Maybe MB?

Chris

[chasesmom]

Where's MB? I'm going to give my thoughts but you could use more than mine I think.
Is Ryan doing this at home too or is this just school behaviors? I think that is the most important question I would like to know before even going anywhere else. If it's just school, I would say things need to be changed at school because Ran is obviously saying he isnt happy and things need to be changed, and there's LOTS of ways to change things to accomadate him. I find it interesting he did well in the morning and then lost it in the aternoon even knowing he was going to Disneyland. And Jodi can Ryan get IT that bad behavior at school means no disney, I mean does he really get it? It took Chase a long time to really comprehend that even though we thought he did. things need to be reworked with him at school to find out what is making him lose it. And at the end of the year all kids get bad behavior although I am not saying it is ok to act out.
HOWEVER if it is home and school it is a totally different thing, so share more with us ok?
hugs and hang in there, it gets better!!
Robin

[Jodi]

He had a possible ear infection a couple of weeks ago. Robin got me thinking that some of the behaviors are unique to school. But then again, he isn't expected to have a pencil in his hand as often at home

I asked him if his ears hurt today, and he pointed to his eyes. I pushed on the top of his head gently and he said it hurt - his first headache?

Anyway, I know I need to rule out medical reasons, but many of these things he is doing does seem to be attention seeking behaviors - using scissors inappropriately (cutting his clothes), dropping his pencil repeatedly while looking at the teacher who is telling him to stop. You know that behavior when you say put that down, and the kid slowly does it --- that is sooooo Ryan right now... testing testing testing.

He does understand about losing good things. We go with a green, yellow, red warning system at school. Two red days in a row and Ryan has to spend the rest of his day in his room. He knows this. He had a red on Wednesday, and when I saw him on Thursday, he told ME that he was going to go to his room when he got home. I told him he could still get a green and play in his room if he wanted. I was wondering if he just wanted to be in his room and so was acting out to get that result - but I don't know for certain if that was the case.

I will have to see how this next week plays out. June is usually worse than May. His birthday is the 13th, the day before the last day of school. I have a party planned for him at school... I hope he can hold it together for a couple more weeks!!

Jodi

[steffipoo]

no advice but wanted to tell u I know what u mean about being great then behaviors starting and man its so dang frustrating. Liv has had a lotta stuff that she could not do that she really really wanted to and when shes sad it makes me sad cause shes blowing it and when she is sweet she is the sweetest child in the universe...but when shes moody omg help us all...

(((HUGS))) steff