came out of left field kind of....

[CC]

When Chris was born and they told me he had DS I was devastated for a bit, really not for me BUT for him thinking Oh my how will life be for him... Anywho I got it together and we all just went forward ;D Then when he was one year old and not walking I remember thinking WOW Kodi was talking and walking at one years old, so it hit me a bit again. K, we dealt and kept moving forward

Just recently Kodi's ex-boyfriend's mom and I were chatting and when she was talking bout her other son just graduating from 8th grade and entering the High School in Sept. I was like Man on Man Chris and he are the same age BUT not near the same age if you KWIM??

The same feelings came back to me, how will life be for him... Yes again as always we will go forward BUT in all honesty some times it sucks to see some of the things Chris is missing out of due to the DS. Any body KWIM??

Yes he can do lots that other kids do BUT lets be real he will never ever be able to due what he might have done without the DS. Honestly that makes me feel sad for him some days

I think Kodi Lee going off to College this Sept. is making me think more too.

Chris is most the times a real happy young boy that loves life and loves people and I am sure will do the best with the cards he was dealt BUT Man oh Man every now and then I just think it stinks.

Hope its OK to share my feelings here and I am sure tomorrow will be back on moving forward

Thanks for letting me just get that out

CC ~

[Chris too]

CC,
Yes, I kwym. When Stevie was born, I could see that she had Ds, but it didn't really hit me until her dr said it. Then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me: all the stuff she wouldn't do. Like you, we went forward. My main motto you can see in the left pane with Stevie's bright smile. But that doesn't mean we don't mourn sometimes. It helps me to remember that everyone has her own struggles; some have harder struggles than others, but we each have our own "lot" or inheritance of struggles that we are to fight our way through. Reminds us of our need for God. There's another positive note for you: in Heaven, all will be made right - count on it, and smile.

Hugs!
Chris, who knows how you feel.

[laurasmom]

CC-

I am there with you also. Laura will be 16 in September, and sometimes I allow myself to think about what other girls are looking forward to happening on their 16th birthday-driving, dating, etc., and I do feel sad. But is it for me, or for her? I asked her if she wanted to learn to drive, she said no. She really isn't that interested in having a boyfriend, just in having friends.

Laura also loves life, and is happy 99.9% of the time. I know in my brain these feelings of mine are natural, however, still hurts my heart sometimes.

Sharon

[Deborah]

I know what you mean CC. I do not get those feelings often, but there are there sometimes. Of course they do not last long, BUT still they are there.

It is fine to vent and I am sending you a cyber hug ((((( )))))
I may need one myself in the future

[Emilysmom]

Hugs to you CC. I get those feelings too from time to time, and like you said...........sometimes they just come out of the blue! Other times, I totally understand what made me start thinking about the "what if's". (What would Em be doing IF she didn't have Ds). So many times when I look around at other 16 year old girls in our town, I have to almost breathe a sigh of relief that Emily is NOT where they are.......meaning that they are into stuff they have NO business being into at age 16!
She still keeps saying she wants a driver's license, a cell phone, an Ipod and a watch for her birthday. OH! And a job at Sonic. She does NOT want to be the person who brings the food to the cars (she says YUCK to that). She wants to be the person on the speaker who says "Can I take your order"? And sigh........that's not going to happen for her on her 16th bday. However, she IS getting an Ipod (nope, actually it's an MP3 player) and a cell phone and a watch and I'm hoping she'll be happy about that!

And yes..............you know you can vent with us. I get the same feelings from time to time, so I sure hope they are ok!!

Susan

[Jackie]

I think we ALL have those moments...the last time for me was recently at Chiles. We ran into a girl Emily's age whose parents are friends of ours. This girl went out of her way to be friendly to Emily through the years and still is when we meet. She was there because she was in town visiting her parents to show off her new little baby boy. I was really happy for her as we tickled and cooed over him. But when she left and Ed and I went back to our meal...I felt an odd void. I guess that is one negative of the mostly inclusive life Emily had. I got used to thinking of her in terms of being non disabled...still do lots of the time. But it is episodes like this that make me return to reality.

And I know that Emily doesn't really want to have children...but it made me sad for awhile as I grieved silently for "opportunities missed" for her.

But...Pollyanna that I am...I quickly reverted to marveling at all that she has had in her life instead and went right back to my cheeseburger.

Yes...those moments wlil always be there and as your kids grow up...they will just pop up unexpectedly like it did for CC. I think it's very normal and never easy.

Jackie

[Pat]

((Hugs)) I feel for you! John-John is almost 8 & I have a hard time near birthdays.
I have to admit I "watch" Chris, & he's such an encourgement. WTG Chris ;D He's grown up Soooo much recently. All the things he's doing & the things he' "not doing" like running at opportunities he's had. I'm so proud of him.
Even with al that, it still hurts sometimes, so have an extra (Hug)
Pat-Pat

[MB]

Waves. It comes in waves. When my son was born, they crashed over so fast that I could barely come up for air. Now they are very few and far between, but still come. The key for me is to enjoy my time in the water whenever possible.

mb

[CC]

THANKS Gals for listening and understanding


Today was a much better day and we will move forward as we always due BUT its so nice to be able to share and know there are ones out there that understand the mixed emotions sometimes.

CC ~

[momofrussell]

Yes.... OH yes do I understand!

I did that post back when this happened for me...now that Russell is 9 and the gap is widening and although it's really not a comparison to a typical child persay, I DO notice the typical kids a bit more... and those thoughts get into my head.

HUGS... I know we all have them!

A.

[laurasnowbird]

I think most all of us here can relate, CC. I do try hard to pay attention to the fact that Ethan is happy, which makes it easier. There are times when "I" feel bad for him, but he seems absolutely fine. I'm sure it will get harder as he gets older. I'm glad that the blue feeling was short-lived!

[chasesmom]

CC,
I've been up all night so forgive me for just doing this for now

I'll come back and post later but know I saw your thread and I hear you.

[lespring]

I'm in one of those funks now. Angela is so capeable, and yet not, all at the same time. It's frustrating for her AND me. She's NOT happy, she's frustrated, which is half (or more?) of her behavior problems. UGH!!! I know this funk will be gone in a couple of days....but still.....

[Debbie]

CC,

I think that is normal to feel that way. Don't feel like you shouldn't feel that way. All feelings are important whatever they are. It is a hard time I am sure for any parent who wants the best for them.

My Mother has never told me if she ever felt that way. I am sure she does though. It is probably good that she does not tell me.
I tend to analyse and have been told I think too much. So, it is probably good I don't know.

Those like me who have it I am sure stop to think about our life and what we may miss. We see what our contemparies have and desire what they have and what they can do. It is very frustrating and sometimes painful. My parents have always been positive and have told me I just have to work a little harder to get what I want and to have alot of determination.

[laurasnowbird]

Debbie,

Just wanted you to know:

You are my Hero!!!!