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Post by ALLISA on Jul 20, 2007 11:02:42 GMT -5
For those of you who have patiently lisened to my fears of private vs. public school and bus fights ans speech therapy issues.... I just got a phone call today ( seems out of the blue to ME ) from the SPED director.....telling me that Erin's teacher went to view a private school , liked it ( found it to be appropriate for Erin ) and would I want to see it so we can get started for Erin to attend in September  I'm just panicking now and not really sure why.....I have known this was a possiblitly, but it seems so fast, it makes me feel like they are sweeping her out the door. AND on top of that ( just to add to my confusion.....) I started her on meds about 1 month ago and I have seen a HUGE, HUGE improvement on her part.....I was hoping it would equal much success for the year.....and now that we have that change I feel like she isn't getting a fair shot to see what the "New Erin" can do and they are pushing us out...... Anyone else who made the leap to private have similar concerns/fears/panic ?? Any advice, suggestion, thoughts are greatly appreciated because not only do I feel like we are being swept out....but swept out to a second class placement..... |
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Post by momofrussell on Jul 20, 2007 11:55:39 GMT -5
Well, first of all.. HUGS to you.. I know this decision isn't one to enter into lightly. What does her IEP look like.. has she met her goals? Why do they think the current placement isn't "appropriate" anymore?
*I* have always been the one to initiate placement changes with Russell and the schools have always agreed. That said, what has to happen before you move a child to a more restrictive environment, which I am assuming is the case here, is that the burden of proof must be on the current placement. That means, they just can't say "we think Erin should be placed *here*"... they have to actually change the program and the goals and EVERYTHING to where her current placement IS more restrictive and collect TONS of data in order to prove a different setting is now appropriate, instead of the current one. THIS is how the law reads. Whether or not they do that is another thing. But just know that, k?
All panic aside....how DO you feel about her changing placement? I think you can either address the issue in writing and say you want to give the current placement a shot with her new meds and figure out if the placement IS working or not, before moving her. OR, you can go see the other option and move her if you feel it's appropriate. This other placement might be a GREAT thing!!! You never know!
What kind of meds is she currently taking?
A.
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Post by ALLISA on Jul 20, 2007 13:34:44 GMT -5
A....thanks so much for responding....I knew you'd have some light to shed.... First off.....yes, I did start meds....we put her on Risperdal....very big leap of faith for me....but so far so good.....her head banging, hitting, throwing and tipping is down to a bare minumum. On top of that....I feel like she is ACTUALLY connecting WITH ME and others now.....huge huge impact....meaning I can tell her to stop or to come here and she DOES.....those who don't have kids like Erin may never fully appreciate how huge that is. So I was thrilled for her to start summer school and hear some good repoerts..... Well, summer school is here and only the lead teacher returned.....all aides are BRAND NEW and not really able to meet Erin's needs...she is testing, testing, testing and winning. Her lead teacher told me she had decided to basically be Erin's 1:1 during the summer because Erin is PERFECT with her, no distractions, no disruptions, etc....and let the aides work with the other kids as that was going smooth. I talked to her YESTERDAY and she didn't mention going to look at a school for Erin.....that is reason # 1 why I feel a little side-swiped. I guess my gut says she may be better off in private.....but I haven't seen ANY schools, I have nothing to base a decision on and her the director calls me and basically says Erin can start at "X" school in September.....what That gut feeling I mentioned above stems mostly from the past couple of years and the lack of progression.....she IS meeting her goals.....BUT.....her goals are pretty unchallenging for a SEVEN year old....they look like goals you would see in EI to be perfectly honest....but that is ok....that is where Erin is...... I KNOW 100 % that her teacher is feeling overwhelmed with Erin's behaviors ( and the fact that she seems to be the only one who can manage them).....but I also KNOW 100 % that her behaviors ( especially now with the meds) can be managed with consisitency....there isn't consisitecny with the rotating aides....... Teacher just called me as I was typing this..... I otld her I just felt taken-aback because the sped director sounded like she was ready to send Eirn in September....hell....maybe even for summer school.....she said that isn't the case at all.....Erin isn't going anywhere come Sept..... Have to go think some more....thanks for the suppport...... |
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Post by momofrussell on Jul 20, 2007 17:57:43 GMT -5
Well, to make you feel even better, the director can't just call and TELL you "Erin can go X in Sept" without an IEP meeting and YOU agreeing to it  That just can't happen. Again, burden of proof comes into play AND you have to hold an IEP meeting to talk about placement, agree on it, ect... so although do-able, it's not THAT easy. And who CARES that Erin's goals look babyish or something similiar to what a child would have in EI... have you seen Russell's goals? Yep... the same goals. It's what RUSSELL needs... as is Erin's goals. And if she is meeting her goals then that's great! They only need to be challenging to Erin (or Russell for that matter) and that's ALL that matters. Not challenging to a 7 yr old. Heck, if that was the case, you should see Russell's goals and compair them to a 9 yr old... LOL Keep on thinking.. keep an open mind but remember you DO have a big say so. Glad you talked to the teacher, it's great to keep the communication lines open. That is a must, epsecially if you are all contimplating a placement change. You all have to be on the same page or it won't be good. And, Rispedral is what I am still toying with for Russell. With our 2 failed attempts at special docs and addressing this, I am having to go back to square one with our ped next month at Russell's physical. We shall see what he says. Good luck and many hugs for you!!! A. |
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Post by CC on Jul 21, 2007 0:06:30 GMT -5
"Any advice, suggestion, thoughts are greatly appreciated because not only do I feel like we are being swept out....but swept out to a second class placement..... " Allisa, hope its OK for me to ask BUT why do you assume its a second class placement before you have even seen the program?? Just wondering We moved our Chris out of the public school to a private school but it was at our request. I was the one to go looking. I say just go look, looking in no way means you have to move Erin there but hey you never know you may like it. They cannot make you move Erin there or anywhere unless you find it to be an appropriate placement and want to move her, KWIM. If you want to keep her right where she is you can do that too, but I think looking never hurts. Just my thoughts  Sorry you are having so many issues with your district. Best of Luck to you. CC ~ |
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Post by steffipoo on Jul 21, 2007 1:13:12 GMT -5
Hey Alissa. wow they really threw you for a loop. The funny thing was when I read that u had never asked for private placement and voila its offered makes ya go hm. Even though all the right reasons are most likely all in erins favor still makes u go hmmm. specially with all her new connections and such. have u thought about calling up her teacher and telling her/him whats going on this summer with Erin? new changes? when can u check out the school.???can u ask the teacher how this all came up? I chuckled when I read it cause most parents would love private placement but u n me we'd both be wonderin hmm why now? lol never flippin satisfied.... Liv was supposed to change school next year for 5th grade. I didn't want to cause they say they don't have a classroom for her. Well.. hee since this is her last year she will be going back. The other school is a no go so we're just gonna call up the day they come in from summer and say hi we're back. LOL They do have a classroom for her and her summerschool teacher is gonna be it. She likes Liv and me thinx she was kinda scared of her cause her class is all learning disabilities very slight ones at that. BUT this summer she happenes to have the upper grade sp ed teacher for summer school and Livs already surprised her many a times. PHEW.... (((HUGS))) lemme know what happened. Steff
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Post by Chris too on Jul 21, 2007 10:02:43 GMT -5
Allisa, your problem is that you've become way too good at advocating for Erin - they know that if they continue to keep Erin that they are going to have to give her what she, as an individual, needs. Then the dam is broken; the way is clear for other individuals to get what they need - dang! They might just have to spend some of that extra money they get from having kids with special needs in their school. It will probably be cheaper for them to pay the tuition on a private school for Erin than for them to provide for the needs of all those kids.
You have two choices: keep fighting, or switch to another placement. Another placement might serve both Erin and you better, so check out all the options. If you keep fighting, be sure to know the reason why - check out all the options; if they are inferior, fight like the tigress you have become to get Erin what she needs.
Let us know what you decide, 'cause we who come behind you are greatful for the view of things to come.
Chris, too
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Post by chasesmom on Jul 21, 2007 13:47:00 GMT -5
OMG Girl...you poor sweet girl...what the hell are they doing to you and Erin? ? First off...KUDOS for not blowing your lid and telling the spec ed director to go T>A>F>F!!! Secondly where do they even get off doing this without you being a part of it? I think it is time to sit down in an emergency meeting with these jackasses and lay it all on the table, got anyone to go with you? Forget about everything but how you feel they ar treating Erin AND you. This is rediculous and to top it off..it's not even legal, IDEA is about what is in the best interest of Erin, not making the teacher or adm or school happy!! And if this new private schol is best for her then good, BUT this is NOT the way to do it and they need to be told that!!!! To run over the top of you like this is BS and it needs to be stopped, for your sae, for Erin's sake and for everyone else's sake who doesn't have the guts to speak up like you do! Once you get your feelings out ...to them and her teacher and you tell tem how wonderful you feel Erin has done since her new meds have started working, you let them know you are willing to go look at the private school but you are not going to agree to ANYTHING that is you do not believe isn't in Erin's best interest!!!! Oh hon..I wish I could be there for you!!!! hugs, Robin |
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Post by ALLISA on Jul 22, 2007 7:09:12 GMT -5
And if this new private schol is best for her then good, BUT this is NOT the way to do it and they need to be told that!!!! To run over the top of you like this is BS and it needs to be stopped .I wish I could be there for you!!!! hugs, Robin First....you are here for me !!! and everyone else who reads....thank you all so much...... I feel much better after a few days of chilling. I quoted you Robin.....because that is JUST how I am feeling....MAYBE it would be a GREAT place for her.....but when she just called me out of the blue ( and I thought she was RETURNING my call about the bus issue and the speech issue) and then she said and I quote "Debbie ( her teacher ) really liked the school and felt it was appropriate for Erin, so I'd like to get a tiime for you to tour it so Erin could begin as soon as possible" So I thought....is she talking a summer program ? Because as I mentioned.....our summer is tough right now with all new aides.....and she said , "Oh, no she would be in a permanent placemetn come Septemeber" in a very cheerful "aren't you thrilled" tone. So I told her I was caught off guard and completely surprised that THIS particluar school had never even been discussed at her IEP....we had talked about 2 schools that specialize in ONLY autism and THOSE were the schools I was going to tour. THIS school is a collabertive ( as I understand it ......it is a public school's version of a private school )......it is a merging of towns to build a school for kids with BEHAVIOR issues....it used to only be middle & high school and have since expanded to lower elemntary.......so to answer you CC......you are right.....I shouldn't assume it is a second class placement.......BUT......it doesn't send out warm fuzzy feelings to me...... I am 100 % in favor of looking at other schools.....I was the one who brought it up to them in the first place......but I need to make the RIGHT PLACEMENT for Erin.....not just the convient one for the district and that is EXACTLY what I felt like they did for me !! So then her teacher called later and we hashed out quite a bit. I said I was upset because we talk DAILY and she NEVER mentioned that she was thinking of this school for Erin OR that she was going to tour it ! She said that she didn't mention it because she wanted to see it FIRST and see if it was any good before mentioning it. She also said it happened really fast, e-mailed the director Thurs afternoon, told her Friday was the best day to tour because she was in class all other days and the director said come over in the morning. I said that I know there is a HUGE possibility that private school is where Erin belongs and I would be OKAY with that.....but I wasn't going to pick a school based on cost to the town or convience on waiting list ( currently there is NO wait....everyone else has a few years !). I believe this school costs our town almost nothing because it is run with public dollars already..... So that is why I feel railroaded into this school.....no other placements have been toured or thouroughly discussed. It is just the sped directior ( who has never met me or Erin calling me out of the blue and cheerfully announcing Erin can start in September)..... So I am letting go of that anger right now in this post and then I will get to the task of finding the best place for my daughter. I know that some people fight tooth and nail to get the district to agree to out-placement....so I should be happy about this.....I'm just apprehensive about making the right choice is all. It took me 2 years to decide to try medication with Erin. I am grateful I did and I am glad I waited that long because I know I tried everything else first. I called back Melmark ( which is one of the school we HAD discussed) they specialize in Autism and have a great reputation....they had me scheduled for a tour in August, but I persuaded him to let me come next week so I had more options to ponder than the one they want me at. I am also touring the one they recommend. The other puzzling thing.....is her teacher and I discussed her behaviors and her meds.....and she says she DOESN'T see the decrease at school that I am seeing at home.....I SIMPLY CAN'T believe that.....and trust me.....we had a lot of issues....and they are almost gone at home....and there is NO decrease in school ? I feel like we are being set up somehow....... Thanks again for being here guys I appreciate it sooooo very much. My ex isn't in the picture and he has NO supportive thoughtful bones in his body.....so I thank you all !! hhhmmmmm.....at next IEP can I add your names to the attendance list and do a phone conference !! hee hee |
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Post by CC on Jul 22, 2007 20:51:34 GMT -5
Allisa ~ "I am letting go of that anger right now in this post and then I will get to the task of finding the best place for my daughter" Yea for you girl cause finding the most appropriate place for Erin is what matters not what that SpEd Director said. Just so you know girl, the only reason I didn't want you to just assume the program sucked is I was thinking Hmmm maybe your district really cares not like mine, KWIM Doesn't matter if there is an opening tomorrow, Sept. 1, Sept 2 whatever, what matters is finding the appropriate placement. So she can say what ever she wants to say, I say just ignore her, go look at it, be open and then move on to looking at the schools you seem to really want Erin in. I really can relate girl, a few years back when I told my District ENOUGH I want Chris out they were like but bla bla bla.... So I went and found the programs to look at. Once I started looking and they knew I was serious, they were like the region has a great program and I can honestly say the only reason they call it great is the cost. YUP its a fact money always comes into play  Anywho I just went and looked with an open mind and it just was not right for my guy. My district continued to push it and I even went back again this time bringing Chris and the case manager and OMG after the three of us spent 1/2 a day there, NOOOO way would I send my son to that program and I didn't care if it was the most expensive it just plain SUCKED. Schools think money, Parents think about the child... So I really do understand, just take what they say with a grain of salt KWIM. You don't have to move Erin anywhere you don't want to or before you are ready. Just for your info in-case you were not aware and they for some reason push this hard on you, you can ask for a "Stay Put" its the law. I actually did that till I found what was the most appropriate for my son. When I first wanted to take him out it was like OH NO you can't do that and then when they realized YES I was going to do that they kept on me bout the region program and if it was appropriate yes i would have sent him but as I said it SUCKED. So I pulled the "Stay Put" till I found where he is now. I really did go through lots of crap with my district but thankfully that is behind us and Chris is where he is doing GREAT. I am sure you will find the right program for Erin. Man it just should not be this hard RIGHT?? It very stressful girl I know. HUGS to you  CC ~ |
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Post by laurasnowbird on Jul 23, 2007 10:46:29 GMT -5
Hey, Allisa
I've been gone so I am weighing in on this a little late. We have such a great group here on Uno, and the support is awesome!! This has got to be tough without her father's support, and you deserve huge kudos for toughing it out like you do! Allisa is one LUCKY little gal to have an advocate like you.
I would second all the other comments - the school cannot make a unilateral decision about her placement. As A said, the burden of proof is on them, and if she has been making progress toward her goals, they would have a tough time proving she needs to be moved.
I went to a Wrightslaw seminar a few years back, and the thing that really sticks in my mind is his comment that you need to leave your emotions out of the whole decision. Easy thing to say but tough thing to do when you are talking about your precious child. But I understand how strongly they feel about learning to do this....they even titled one of their books "From Emotions to Advocacy". I would check out the other programs, and I think it was smart to move up the visit to the other school.
You have just made a big change in allowing her to begin meds, and I think I would insist that she be given an opportunity for success in her current program, especially given the degree of change you have seen. The fact that they aren't seeing it at school says something about the degree of consistency and expertise in their summer program....sounds like it is sadly lacking. Perhaps you should call an IEP, tell them a change in placement is off the table for now, and work on strategies for success in her current school, given the change in her abilities that you are seeing on her new meds.
And in the meantime....HUGS!!! You've had a rough couple of weeks. Take a few deep breaths and do something nice for yourself. Many thoughts and prayers going out for you!
Laura
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That just can't happen. Again, burden of proof comes into play AND you have to hold an IEP meeting to talk about placement, agree on it, ect... so although do-able, it's not THAT easy. 
