I got really upset

[lorraine]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I'm feeling your anger too, How you managed not to hit him I do not know,but good for you.
It's so sad and frustrating that there are still people out there with opinions like this, and also that they think it's fine to share them
Hopefully if meeting our children in the future can change one person's minds about disability then that would be brilliant

I've just noticed your picture of Winter. She's so cute ;D

Lorraine

[difrompa]

My Maid-of-Honor said the same thing to me when I told her about Nic. She said he would be "such a burden". We don't speak anylonger. I would say that when older people make those comments, I'm pretty forgiving. Years ago, "they" didn't think our kids could learn so they didn't bother trying to teach them.

[mollysmomma]

all we can do is teach..i really DIDNT know much about DS, until molly...not in detail anyway.

I do know how you feel, though...cuz when i called social security and told them about her diagnosis....the woman answering the phone screeched "OMG! IM SO SORRY!! Small town...she knew me, and i guess was being a friend in her sympathy....that was the last time I allowed myself to be stunned into silence! WTG with the 'WHAT FOR?" Good question!

not very professional, huh! I learned real fast to think of the responses...and have them ready, so they will roll off my tongue...bypassing my SHOCK factor! Even today...some 'other' walked up and asked me if i was with 'this special ed thing' I explained to her that this was the National Conference for people with Downs Syndrome...to which she smarted off....yea, i know people like that!".....confusing for sure, but really? she wasnt worth the effort. Im selective about WHO i teach, also...and yes, some of the older ones are never gonna understand.




We keep on...keepin on.

[Gina]

I am so sorry that he said that. I have had that happen many, many times. When Ashton was born, someone actually sent us a SYMPATHY card!!! Unfortunately, my side of the family has the most problems - my own mother has said several things. It is heart breaking to say the least. So I feel your pain, and I am sorry.
It is crazy to think that people think that way in today's world - they are truely ignorant.

[Chris too]

Congratulations, Adam, you handled that horrible encounter with class and style!!

Winter is gorgeous!!! I'm glad you figured out how to put her picture up. Thanks for sharing

Chris, too

[shellk]

So sorry to hear that..But I think our skin gets tough as we age or should I say our children. I used to get so irrate over things, now I just look at the people like it is their loss that their brain is so small that they think that way. You'd be surprised what they do when you just look at them no matter what they say and just say....Thank You..Have a fabulous day.! I get looks like I am a little coo-coo..lmao..but it makes them think

Best of luck to you...and vent anytime ya want to !

Michele

[Debbie]

Hi Adam.

I've never had anyone react that way to me but I have had alot of patronizing attitude's from people in the past. When I was much younger and because I was painfully shy people naturally
treated me like I didn't know much. It was much different as I grew older. I have found that some older people and I don't mean old, old, but people in their sixties or so would act like they felt sorry for me. Some of them were my relative's. I loved my Aunt Ruth and my grandmother's, but, they didn't really know me to understand who I was and what I could do. When that did happen, they saw me in a very different way. You will come across those who have come from a different past where we were seen as someone who didn't have strength of mind. If you look back at history you will see and understand their ignorance at that time and to remember that is where they come from.

[char]

I've had several people say that they were sorry when I tell them about Abby. I just say, "Oh, goodness, don't be sorry! She's the biggest blessing this family has ever had, and we adore her."

It's hard to not respond to those types of comments so you did a great job to keep your cool.

Char

[jessjetland]

I get the I'm sorry response alot when I tell people sam has down syndrome I just responsed back with a if you knew him you wouldnt be. Or the wow how do you do it, I couldnt handle it. I just dont think alot of people understand that you can truly do anything for your children and I feel blessed every day to have Sam, he makes me a better person.
Jess

[Cbean]

You know, we're all a burden...if you choose to look at it that way. I actually have only a handful of these situations and Emily is now 2 1/2. Pretty good track record. I like when someone offers me condolensces b/c it gives me the opportunity to rise above and educate that person. Always has ended on a positive note.

[Cbean]

Oh, and one time when someone offered an "I'm sorry" to me when I mentioned Emily having DS I replied, "Oh, so it's you're fault!" I really got a kick outta their reaction. Fun to have a wierd sense of humor!!!

[Kaylis]

Hm... I always feel torn when I get the "I'm sorry" thing. On the one hand I want to shake them or smack them, on the other I want to try for one more convert. Sometimes I tell them that one of the first people with a child with Ds who I told about my amnio diagnosis said, "This may sound strange, but congratulations!" I always tell them I agree wholeheartedly. Maybe I'll try the weird, shake them up funny line Christine came up with . Then again, I'm almost as frustrated by the people who think they know what sort of person he is ("They're so sweet and loving") just because of the Ds. These people I usually try to educate by passing along the comment made by someone on this board quite a while ago that her son was a grump just like his father, and that his father's whole family were grumps. That almost always brings a smile.

[Chester]

Sounds like you handled it well. It's a tough line....older people (and sadly even some young ones) lived in a different "world" than our kids are growing up in today. Kids with DS weren't given much hope 40 years ago. The guy you ran into sounds as if he "knew" a lot of what kids with DS can't do, kinda like what they use to focus on. If you run into him again, and feel up to it, you may want to ask him if he knows anyone with ds. It may help you understand where he is coming from. You could then tell him that you know a lot of kids with ds (on this board , who go to school, go to camp, have jobs, ride horses, are prom queens, have friends, who read & write, etc etc.

Your daughter is a cutie!
Dawn

[victoriasdad]

blessings and burdens are what u make of them .........but for sure there are lots of things our kids cant do..........AND A KABILLIONTRILLIONMEGAMILLION THINGS THEY CAN DO....... then there are those thousand things they can do but really shouldnt lol

[Jodi]

I've had my lovely run-ins with ignorance... Ryan had to see a pediatric urologist recently - the guy asked me to have Ryan lay down... I told him he could ask Ryan directly. People of all backgrounds make lots of assumptions about people with Ds; it's frustrating witnessing the ignorance.