Ok, am I the only one here (vent/help)

[Renee']

I am having some issues with L and I just don't know what to do. We have tried time outs. Redirection. Removing her favorite things..liker her computer, toys etc...yet her behavior has been, well, unbearable. She is talking back to met. She is being rude. They told us she needs hearing aides but would it make her behavior change like that?

Not only that she always destroys things. I want her to have nice things. Nice clothes, toys....I fix her hair in the morning and an hour later she has pulled it out. She breaks her glasses. She tears up books. We have always tried to teach her the value of having nice things and treating everything with respect.
Now her sister is picking up on some of the behavior.

We hold her accountable for her actions. I wonder at times what she understands. Our doctor has said he is willing to work with us but he thinks some of it is just her "character"
Well I don't find it cute or something I want to accept "just because she has Down Syndrome"

Where is that sweet, loving child everyone always tell me about? You know, the one everyone mentions when you tell them you have a child with Down Syndrome ;D

[victoriasdad]

we have been having some of those same issues, i talk to a friend of mine who has a 24 yr old with ds. ....... he said just be consistant, our issues are probably my fault having five kids victoria being the youngest i dint really discipline her like the others because i was ...... afraid too i guess....... shes not exactly spoiled but..... she yells at us and refuses to cooperate even if its something she likes to do.... i dont really have any advice for u , i just wanted you to know youre not alone.......just try not to grind your teeth to dust and remember cyber hugs are free and they are broadcast from this place 24-7

[Chris too]

I'm sure that L is both sweet & loving, but that doesn't mean she isn't also rude and destructive

I'm betting that hearing aides would help, and this is why: communication is key to just about every issue in life. It will be easier to make her accountable for her disobedience when you know that she has heard what you've said - understanding, now that's another matter. It makes sense, though, that hearing well would be an asset to her communication skills, both receptive and expressive.

You may want to watch her constantly until you know she's not going to stomp them as soon as she realizes that she can't use "didn't hear you" for an excuse

Chris too

[Renee']

Thats just it. She hears, they said its just like having your fingers in your ears. Her speech is amazing. She is smart and very high functioning. She will try and push the limits. Especially mine. Like I will ask her to do something and it will take an act of congress for her to do it. Then when the drama is done she will come to me and say mom, I am sorry for not doing this or that. She torments her sister. I am sure that happens with typical children. I just don't have anything to copmare it to yet.
I am just feeling down about it right now. I have really tried and I am at a loss. Thanks for listening.

[violettesmom]

My typical 7.5 yo and her developmentally delayed 7.5 yo cousin both are going through phases where they don't listen...my mom & I were just talking about it!

Wish I had answers for you...if something works for you, let me know!!!

[CC]

"I have really tried and I am at a loss"

I hear you girl and I could be wrong but my feeling is least with my boy that summer is just to much non structured time for him. Not sure bout Lauren BUT man Chris really does so much better in structure. We start Sept. 6th and I can't wait LOL

When do you guys start school??

CC ~

[Chris too]

Wow, she sounds a lot like my second and third daughters at that age. Acts of Congress and drama followed by contrition and apology, yep. It does get better, but it takes years - still only about halfway there with my 9-y-o. You have my full understanding and (((hugs)))

Chris too

[Renee']

She needs the structure too. She will start school next Monday. Did I mention I can hardly wait? lol. I am trying to do things with her and keep her on a schedule. She was doing well when while the ESY was on. She just doesn't like change.
She is a drama queen..lol

[mollysmomma]

we started this week!! WED!!

IT WAS DIFFICULT!! but it's getting better.....I sent 20 copies of a letter (another mom show'd me hers) discussing DS, and molly and they LOVED IT!! (and did pass it on to all the other families) Then copied off A's welcome kit...and although only have ONE DAY OFF THIS WEEK! EEEEEEEEEEEK!! i plan on working on it today!


the routine and structure is NECESSARY!! i vote for year round school....with long vacations worked in...but NOT 3 MONTHS OF IT!

JMHO

[Kristin]

I think school may help, too. I took my daughter to meet the teacher Friday. She's been less anxious this weekend, less rude, less aggressive...I'm looking forward to the start of school tomorrow for all of us!

[momofrussell]

Have you made sure there is NO medical issues underlining this? Like Obstructive Sleep Apnea or any digestive issues, ect? Those things can DEFINATELY play a part in a child's behaviors. How is her sleep?

I'd make sure there is nothing medically going on. Then, I'd ask your ped where you can go for a behavior assessment. Ask for someone/someplace that will offer you in home services. If your ped doesn't know, maybe a county or state agency for disabilities would know.

Behaviors are a tricky thing...we all know they aren't appropriate and we don't want our kids to do them.. but is the back side of the equation... only part of it. You (we) need to also figure out WHY they are doing what they are doing. It could something as simple as they are hungry, to more things like medical stuff (OSA for example).. or it could be someone pissed them off! LOL But knowing what the triggers are is the front side of this.

Behaviors are ALWAYS a form of communication...whether it's "my ear is HURTING me and I can't tell you" or "so and so said something mean to me in school today so I am going to take it out on the world"...to "my aide won't let me do more things independently" and "I can't DO the task and I am getting REALLY frusterated and can't ask for help". And simple things... "I need a snack at 2pm or I will be a bear for the rest of the evening"... and "mom and dad, I am just not wanting to cooperate today and have decided to give you grief"... and yes, of course "this lack of structure is making me BORED so I am going to throw things"... (which is a Russell thing ) Or "I am OVER stimulated at right now".. .which is another Russell one!

So....it's tiring isn't it? LOL I am sorry Lauren is really having some rough days. I am hoping you can get to the bottom of it somehow. Even those with the best of speech and receptive language still have "moods" where they communicate in non-verbal ways. I have a 14 yr old that is a good example of this ;D

Hugs to you Renee!!!!!!

A.

[chasesmom]

Renee, if I had a dollar for every time some one said to me "oh people with DS are just so sweet and gentle and loving" I'd be a rich rich woman. What they forgot to add is that they are also like everyone else...they act up and some of our kids....eekk, no names mentioned Chase, act up more than others!!!!
I'm sorry you are having a hard time with Lauren right now, just keep reminding yourself school will be starting soon and her structure will be returning. I think all of our kids should have ESY. This was Chase's first year for it and it has made a world of difference for him!!!! This was his last week of it and he only has to go two weeks without school before it starts back up. I know I can keep him busy having fun for that short time.
Hang in there...it's going to get better!
{{{HUGE HUGS}}}
Robin

[rickismom]

I second momofrussel-- sleep apnea is a problem. But I suspect very much that you are dealing with ADD. ADD/ADHD can present three basic forms (or a combination thereof): hyperactivity, attention deficit, and (TA-TA) ornriness. contrariness. Ricki has this. She also can work an hour on a project, and then just crumple it up.....
Today she is much better, as we are VERY carefull with behavior ( "natural" results....), and she is on concerta.

Check with a GOOD neurologist who has experience in ADHD in special-needs children (ie, the ADHD is the second diagnosis).