very proud

[Jackie]

Em is winging her way back to Katie's even as I type and I am sitting her with tears streaming down my face...silly me

I LOVED having her back with us TWICE this month but know her life is now somewhere else. It should get easier each time she leaves after a visit ...but must be my age cuz for me it gets harder!

We went to lunch with her first and I looked at her and thought about how pretty she is...and then a friend came up and told Emily how pretty she thought she looked sitting there...LOL. I am so proud of her to be at this point in her life where she is making most of her own decisions including the one not to live at home anymore. As usual she did not want us to go thru security with her and went immediately to stand in the "A" boarding line even tho the plane didn't leave for 45 minutes...LOL.

Susan and I were chatting this morning about having girls who are accomplished yet more or less "unknown" because they are not in the spotlight. Neither of us are the type to get up on a stage and shine the light on our daughters nor do we think our daughters would want us to do that. Yet they, in their own right, are every bit as outstanding as the women you heard at the conference.

I think for most of us...like Susan and me...the applause for them will be internal...our realization that we have done a good job in raising them and watching them maximize their potential.

I feel really good that Emily's goals have been pretty much her own. I have listened to her and when she has said NO I have tried to follow her lead. I have to admit that my goals might be a bit more lofty...I envisoned her working someday in an office...living by now on her own in an apartment...and having a boyfriend from a family just like ours...LOL. Instead she is living with her sister 500 miles away, volunteering at the animal shelter and nannying her neice...and no boy friend at all but good friends with several nice men.


Not bad, really. When she was born over 27 years ago...I got my grief over with quickly and thought..."Well here we go..." and have really never looked back.

I hope today if you read this all of you will hug your kids (all of them) and reflect on the good job you have done and what wonderful people they are becoming.

Jackie

[char]

Jackie, what a wonderful description of Emily, but even more so of the way you have parented her and continue to do so. I'm touched. I'm absolutely certain I would love to sit with you and your beautiful daughter and just chat! I so wish I could do that.

I hope that someday I can hear about Abby taking a flight back home to the place she has chosen to live and to the job she has chosen for herself.

If it's any consolation, I cry my eyes out when any of my children leave after a visit. It's only somewhat better when I leave after I've visited them. I'm a little more in control then because I don't want strangers on the plane to see me sobbing like a baby.

You are such a shinning light for me. I am very grateful that you are here to share yours and Emily's stories.

Char

[lorraine]

char said:

You are such a shinning light for me. I am very grateful that you are here to share yours and Emily's stories.

Char

Jackie,
I have to agree with Char (sorry Char to pinch it but you put it so well I love hearing what the older people here get up to, it gives me a glimpse of the future and real hope too that William will have an independent life one day, just like Em. ;D

I wish I could shine a spotlight, on to you as well because you have made Em the person she is today.
You are right to be proud

Lorraine.

[Emilysmom]

Jackie,
I can't imagine how much you miss Emily between visits! I always enjoy hearing about her life.

Susan

[Chris too]

Jackie, thank you so much for this lovely post. Not everyone can get to hear speakers at a conference, or even get the chance to meet with adults with Ds, but you share your wonderful stories and thoughts here. And that's even better to me. I hope she never tells you to stop telling her stories, because they are so encouraging to us here. If you can find a way to tell her, please let her know that she's an inspiration to so many people by just living out her life the way she chooses to do so.

Chris too

[Cbean]

I am just way too hormonal! Jackie, your post just sent me into tears. I guess I have just had to worry about my Emily way too much in her short time with us. I look forward to the day I can reflect the same as you. For now though, as I see her finally starting to surge ahead, I will just take time to enjoy the ride. You have a wonderful young woman there - both you and she inspire me so much.

[dpurvis]

OH, Jackie - I just so needed to hear this today. Emily is an incredible young woman and I hope with all my heart that one day Ashleigh will be there, also. You have done such an outstanding job with her and both of you are such an inspiration to so many people!!

[mollysmomma]

I feel EXACTLY the same way about my shauna....exept for the non-shining thing...she's EXTREMELY SHINABLE! and i can't quit braggin on about her! She's my firstborn girl, and very typical.

She grew up, got educated, and moved away...slowly but surely farther away...but stayed extremely close to me...daily calls, always needing my opinion...or money :-)......

It didn't dawn on me that molly would want to move AS FAR AWAY as shauna is NOW!! YOU'RE SCARING ME!! As of late...i don't get phone calls everyday...and if i DO catch up with her....i kinda feel like i've REALLY interrupted something! IT'S HEARTBREAKING!!

I was hoping molly would stay close...and always be my baby. I can already see her independence (we just had a disagreement in the store over a SHIRT!) blossoming...
ok, maybe not blossoming...maybe EXPLODING is a better adjective....and I know that
it won't be too long....and again the nest will be empty.

*sniff* you are SO good! Stay close...i want play by plays all the way!


e

[CC]

"I have listened to her and when she has said NO I have tried to follow her lead"

Hmm now if only I could do that with Christopher LOLOL, he says NOOOO to everything LOLOL But once we get him there he has a BLAST. Maybe there is hope as he is only 14 yet

I am so far not where you are with Em with my guy and OMG just the thought of him being miles away OMG are you kidding NOOO not silly at all I would have tears for sure. Geez Kodi Lee just left for college and I was here the other night IM'ing with her in tears, I miss her tons.

Funny thing is my boy would love to get up and make a speech or share away BUT due to the speech issues just wouldn't happen, KWIM Kind of ironic in a way that some that speak so well are shy and yet one that is not shy at all can not speak well

Sorry guess I am getting off the topic some ...

You should be sooo Proud of your girl just as I am proud of my boy and just as everyone should be proud of their child/children ;D

CC ~

[laurasnowbird]

What an awesome post, Jackie. I was thrilled to finally have the opportunity to meet Emily at the NDSC, and was more inspired by her than by the superstars, because what she has accomplished seems achievable and realistic for Ethan. Sort of. Except for the plane stuff and living on the other side of the country, LOL!

When Ethan was born, I remember telling a friend that Rod doesn't want ANY of our kids to move away, and that he was thrilled that perhaps we would get to keep at least ONE. I had to gently remind him then, and lots of times since then that Ethan is in our care for now, just like all our other children, but that his goals and desires and abilities might take him somewhere far away just like it could our other kids. And that we have no right to "clip his wings" because he has a disability.

You've done a great job of letting Emily make as many choices for herself as possible, and I think that is the key to a good life, and a content and happy daughter or son.

I like to read Rod your posts about Emily because for one thing, they amaze him, and for another, I see it as prep for him, LOL!!! So please, keep them coming Jackie!

[Jackie]

Laura...Emily has discovered a new skill that is helping with the separation...she is getting very good at Yahoo IM!

She has been doing this for several years ...but it used to take her about 10 minutes per reply...LOL...Now she is almost up to speed and not trying to spell every word correctly. It has opened up a whole new world of communication for her. Her best friend here is LD and very good at IMing...so now they are keeping in touch better. They also set up the Web cam and she loves that...but mostly she loves looking at...HERSELF...on the monitor...LOL. So fun to see her "trying" on different smiles!

She just seems to "pop up" when I least expect her so thats always fun.

I do miss ALL my kids...none of them around here at all...and it's where most of our "entetainment" funds go...to visit them all...been a long time since we just had a real vacation without any family.

Still have not been to see that new little guy in NC...sigh. Marnie is trying really hard to get me to fly to DC and drive with her to visit in a couple of weeks...Just might do it!

Never easy to let go...is it.

Jackie

[TriciaF]

Hey there lady!!
I hope too that you are VERY PROUD of yourself. We all want to be the mother our children need, deserve, can depend on...etc... But when something like Ds....or any other type of challenge comes along, it takes that responsibility to a new level. It can seem so daunting, not being sure in the moment that you are doing the best thing...hoping that if its not...there will be no major consequences. Chosing what to invest the time and energy in, at the expense of something else. Trying to maintain a balance and get the really important stuff in those little brains while theres still a window of opportunity.

I think at this point in Emily's life...you can enjoy some of the fruits of the labor....hers and yours. Her Ds changed your life, too. It put you on a road you would likely never have gone down....but not only did you take the plunge....you savored and enjoyed the walk. And that says it all to me. And if that weren't enough.....you came back to help us down the pathway and have acted as a tour guide....pointing out all the interesting beauty and warning us of the pitfalls. You make us excited about the next bend in the road, and dare I say, somewhat sorry for those people who will never have our experience. It is a rare and precious thing and you are generous to share yours with us. And you have done it all with the greatest of humility. So....Miss Jackie....be very proud of yourself and Emily....cause I am so proud of you both.

[matthewsmom97]

Hi Jackie,

How great is that. While reading your post I had tears in my eyes. What a wonderful Mom you have been for Emily, (great name by the way) LOL.. Even though you had hoped for an office job, look , she is a very happy camper and has managed to make HER WAY, with , lets not forget YOUR raising her.

Glad to know all has been well.