Potty training Horror

[ashleysmom]

I know I don't post much and I'm sorry.
I know this topic has been posted alot but I don't know if anyone has/had this problem. Ashley WILL sit on the potty anytime we ask her but she will NOT go at all. So last night I noticed she was passing alot of stinky gas and I knew she had not gone BM for a day, so I sat her on the potty and we sang ABC's and I did the potty dance.(lol) Anyway much to my surprise she had a HUGE BM ON the potty. I was so happy and she looked absolutely horrified and had her bottom lip out crying. She seemed scared to death no matter how much of a big deal we made. I even gave her ice cream with candy. I asked her today if she would go on the potty and she said NO Mom. What am I to do to get her more at ease with relieving herself on the potty. I feel like this just gave us a set back.

Any advice?

Thank you

[twosomy21]

just do not force her i think the bm's are scary but keep it up so that she knows it something she has to do and pee will always prevail-as for bms count your blessings each time she has one on the potty. i am in the process of training loren,4 and it takes time but do not give up.sometimes our exitment to a bm scares loren,it is loud because we get so happy.great job using the potty ashley

[Chris too]

From www.drgreene.com
among the tips for potty training (http://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&ref=66)
Begin putting the contents of their dirty diapers in the potty so they can see what happens. Then give them the opportunity to run around bare-bottomed so they can try to go on the potty if they want.

So if you skipped this step, you may want to go back and hit it so that she won't be so horrified.
...(later in the same article - just for interest)
Physical readiness for potty training often occurs around the time that children develop strong oppositional behavior - you say, "yes," they say, "no!" You say, "red," they say, "blue!" This underlying negativity is the final powerful force affecting potty training. Thankfully, this begins to fade at about age three. Still, if you tell them, "This is what you've got to do," their natural, healthy response is "no," because they are in the process of developing their unique, independent personality. Potty training is not an area to enter into any kind of battle. You will always lose; everyone involved will lose. Instead, minimize the issue and make it quite clear that this is for them - in their timing - and not for you. Help teach them how to do it, but don't push and don't punish.

You may want to look at this too: www.drgreene.com/54_19.html
there are links on that last one for solving potty troubles.

Best wishes!
Chris too

[NZ Carolyn]

This may sound odd but it might help Ashley to see other people doing the same thing so it means letting her witness you guys on the big potty too.........fun eh??? LOL! Ahh the things we do sometimes.

We made a personalised picture books including the potty book. It helped Emma and Nicki a lot with knowing what to expect and it was fun making it with her. I LOVE my digital camera. We have made one for her to help her understand about puberty etc. Hopefully she won't go into shock when it all happens if you know what I mean.

We also made sequence cards for Emma in particular who is a very visual kid. Started off with a card with a pic of her going to into the bathroom, a card with a pic of her sitting on the toilet (we didn't use a potty for various reasons) and then she could choose whether she wanted the #1 card or the #2 card or both! etc etc. It just helped her become more aware of her body I think. Well, it worked for us.

Perseverance pays off big time so keep up the great work and don't worry if it's two steps forward and one step backwards.

Cheers
Carolyn

[chasesmom]

Hi Annette,
Long time no see! I am with Car, make a potty book complete with graphics, so Ashley knows exactly what happens when you go to the bathroom. Maybe you can use one of the other kids as an example when they go the bathroom I know, but smile, it gets so much easier...LOL! There is also a ton of great easy really simple books out there you can either buy or borrow if you have a library near you that explain using the potty and have little pictures. You could read them to her when you are in the bathroom.
I made a lot of books for Chase to teach him all kinds of stuff and they worked great. I am still making them and the school is into it too only now we use them to emphesize appropriate behavior, what's good and what's not and how to cook..directions, how to make a bed, that sort of stuff. He is so visual and it really helps.
Good luck and hugs!
Robin

[damarasmom]

Sounds wierd but we bought a book called "Everybody Poops"....silly I know, but we are hoping it will work

[Ericsmomma]

damarasmom,
I worked for a pediatrician and we kept that book "Everybody Poops" in the office.
We lent it out to parents having trouble with potty training. Kids seemed to really related to the story and pics. Good Luck to you, and hopefully you can add Damara's name to the list of "everyone".

[ashleysmom]

Thank you for all the good advise. I have decided to make a pec board for in the bathroom with pictures of Ashley on the potty. I am pretty sure she knows what to do. We absolutely take her potty with us even dh does. It is so bad she even hands me my things when it is that time of the month(yuck), she handles it better than I do. Her school called and said she has been going in the bathroom on her own and sitting on the potty. They don't know if she has done anything though, she tells them GET OUT. So they just stand at the door and watch her try to take care of it. She is in an inclusion class so she see's kids go potty all day long. So I really think she wants to exceed in this. Just this one time I know of (last night) her poop came out and freaked her out.

Thanks again for the web link and the good advise.

[CC]

"she looked absolutely horrified and had her bottom lip out crying. She seemed scared to death no matter how much of a big deal we made"

Just throwing this out there Is there any chance she had been constipated a bit and it hurt her?? Just a thought

When we trained Chris actually the less of a happy fuss we made the better, he didn't like it being made a big deal KWIM As always each child is so different.

Best of Luck

CC ~

[jelanismom]

Annette,
I haven't read anyone's replies here , so I may be repeating something someone says, lol
Jelani has always had a problem with hard bm's even with all the fiber in the world and water and you know, etc....
But he will cry if it "hurts" and also it's still kinda scarey for him, no matter how many times he's made it....
So, rest assured that it's not a set back, it's only going to take time and time again and time again...
Potty time is a very big deal for me and Jelani because it's consistency that counts and it's not at all easy as you already know...it take precidence over anything else we may be doing at the time, I just drop what I'm doing and take him.
On top of that, if I just leave him for a millisecond in the bathroom on the potty by HIMSELF...well then it's another horror story along with yours because he'll do his #2 and pick it up and fling it in the bath tub!!!! I might post this myself because it's a scaaarrrryyy thing to walk in the bathroom and smell it but not "see" where it is....and so I NEVER can leave him alone on the potty ever...
Just thought I'd share our ((SCAREY)) potty experience for you ;D
Your little one will do fine...she's putting it in the potty...not the tub!

[NZ Carolyn]

Just want to share.......the best thing we've found for hard BM's when diet doesn't help.........PROBIOTICS. You get them from a health food shop - get the strongest you can find and it comes in capsule form. We break it open and pour the powder onto any type of food......yoghurt, apple sauce - anything cause it's tasteless. What a difference. Just give it a try and tell me if you think it has helped. Keep it in a fridge!

Cheers
Carolyn

PS. I can't give Emma a warm bath even now that she doesn't poop in it and bathtime is over. It must be so relaxing that she just can't help it. We never make a fuss even though she's very embarrassed.

[ashleysmom]

Thanks again for the advice and poopy tub story(YIKES)!

Just so you all know Ashley does not get hard BM's they are always normal and a mess. She is also very proud to announce she pooped herself when she is done in her pants. She also states it's stinky. It's funny but not funny if you know what I mean.

Well my next journey begins.

[Tammy]

Annette.... Lewis also was terrified to poop in the toilet... He screamed and really would panic as he was doing it... Almost like he thought he was losing part of himself down there.
I used to have to sit and hug him as he did it!!!
I also kept a jar of Lollies (candy) nearby and each time he actually Pooped in the toilet, he was allowed to have some. Eventually he started doing it without being hugged, but he still insisted someone be in the room with him. We then ran out of lollies and resorted just to doing the happy poo dance. Gradually we weaned that out too and now exactly a year later.... He just goes and takes care of himself with no fuss. I dont even know most of the time when or if he has pooped.

I walked in on him last week and was promptly and clearly told to GET OUT !!

I guess Patience pays off, and Ashley will get there in the end too!!

[Chris too]

tammy said:

I guess Patience pays off, and Ashley will get there in the end too!!

In the end - ROFL!