advice for lateness

[carolyn]

Hi All,

John is 9, and we have a horrible problem with lateness. He just doesn't care if he is late or on time for school. I almost think he likes being late, because if he is I have to walk him into school, get a pass, sign in at the office. .. blah blah blah, then we are really late. His teacher in unsympathetic, and probably rightly so. We have the same routine every morning, typically he is difficult to get going, but none the less we get it done. I am a substitute at his school, so some days we have to be there 15 minutes earlier, and man that is stressful. But the days I don't work he just drags along. Not every day, some days he is ready to go. There is no rhyme or reason, he generally likes school these days... But it is soooooo frustrating. He does not ever hurry up. That is like the worst thing to say to him, "hurry up". So advice welcomed and sympathies appreciated.

Carolyn

[katiesmom]

I've read in different books about Ds that this seems to be a pretty typical problem with kids and adults with Ds. I know that the more I hurry my daughter, the more she moves like molasses!

Have you tried having a routine of packing lunches and bookbags at night, setting table for breakfast, picking out clothes for the next day and having them laying out and ready to go? Those things seem to cut down on arguments and stress in the morning.

I also have a friend who set a timer for her 9 year old son to get dressed. Initially she started him off with 10 minutes and it became a game to him to "beat the clock". Eventually she shortened the time by small increments and now they don't need it at all.

Best of luck,
Deane

[Jessie]

Hmmmm, every morning as I watch Jason saunter out to the bus, I think, "Now THAT is the epitome of molasses in January!" LOL

I don't really think it's worth telling our kids with Ds to "hurry up" because they have to be somewhere in so many minutes - seriously, the concept of time is something that is really hard to grasp. And then you mix in a little stubbornness and, well, here we all are late to everything!

There are some practical things you can do - if MB were to respond I bet she would say - let him go in his pj's one day and he probably won't do that again!!! LOL Or, maybe he doesn't get to finish his breakfast, etc.

There is also the Time Timer that may work - have you seen this:

www.timetimer.com

This may be a tool that could help make him understand how much time he has to get ready in the morning.

Also - routine helped us dramatically with Jason's morning and all of us surviving it!!! LOL


Jessie

[Jessie]

Deane - too funny - I had started my reply and then got distracted, so we were probably typing basically the same things at the same time!

[momofrussell]

Hmmmmm I don't know if DS has much to do with this.... beacuse Regan has the "molassas" gene LOL

A.

[carolyn]

Thanks you guys, I think a timer might be helpful, and it gets put the responsiblity on him. Truthfully, there is a part of me that thinks he enjoys the attention, even though it is negative. I feel like he is just so "normal" in so many of his reactions to things, a lot like my 11 year old son, but his reactions are magified 10x . So while Peter will do things to be annoying and get attention, John will do them 10 x louder and 10 x longer. Sigh.
Carolyn

[Emilysmom]

What if you came up with something he really likes to do after school......maybe even something he already does each day and really enjoys. And tell him he can do it ONLY if he gets to class on time. Would the teacher be willing to somehow let you know each day (a note, a mark on a page, somehow) if he was on time or not. Then, praise him for the times he is on time and let him do the FUN thing only IF he was on time. I know it sounds like punishing him for lateness..........but also rewarding him for being on time. It would take a lot of consistency, but might work!

Susan