Post by laurasnowbird on Mar 18, 2008 19:39:56 GMT -5
OK, just a thought here you guys.....
Rod and I say stuff LIKE this all the time about Ethan. We aren't being smart alecky or anything. We'll hear something awful on the news and say "When Ethan's president, that kind of nonsense will quit". Or another example....I'll be driving and Ethan's in a hurry to get to our destination. The light will be red, and he'll kick my seat and say "GO, Mommy", and I'll laugh and say, "I CAN'T, the light is RED! And just for that, mister, you're not getting your license until you're TWENTY!"
Now honestly, I'm pretty sure Ethan isn't going to be president, and only a small minority of kids with DS drive, so its not LIKELY he'll be driving a car, but that has nothing to do with it. It has everything to do with dreaming the dream, shooting for the stars, and imagining the unimagineable. Am I making any sense at all here?
I'm sure your DH knows the statistics, Jess. We get them shoved in our face pretty hard when we have a kid with DS. But darn it, some kids also go on to get black belts in martial arts, and some go to college, some get married, some live wonderful independent lives. Who is to say that your Noah or my Ethan won't be the first to do something amazing? It's all about giving them EVERY chance, and it starts with thinking positively.
This was probably clear as mud, but maybe some small part of what I'm trying to say actually was communicated by what I wrote, LOL!
And I don't think your husband has FALSE HOPES, I think he is just trying to see his son as a little boy, like any other little boy. And as far as giving him space, sheesh, give me a break. You guys sounds like a heck of a team....and you'll come through this TOGETHER. This is a new landscape, having a new baby is a huge adjustment for ANY relationship, throw in a disability, and all heck breaks loose. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your marriage or that you need to retreat to your separate corners.
Rod and I say stuff LIKE this all the time about Ethan. We aren't being smart alecky or anything. We'll hear something awful on the news and say "When Ethan's president, that kind of nonsense will quit". Or another example....I'll be driving and Ethan's in a hurry to get to our destination. The light will be red, and he'll kick my seat and say "GO, Mommy", and I'll laugh and say, "I CAN'T, the light is RED! And just for that, mister, you're not getting your license until you're TWENTY!"
Now honestly, I'm pretty sure Ethan isn't going to be president, and only a small minority of kids with DS drive, so its not LIKELY he'll be driving a car, but that has nothing to do with it. It has everything to do with dreaming the dream, shooting for the stars, and imagining the unimagineable. Am I making any sense at all here?
I'm sure your DH knows the statistics, Jess. We get them shoved in our face pretty hard when we have a kid with DS. But darn it, some kids also go on to get black belts in martial arts, and some go to college, some get married, some live wonderful independent lives. Who is to say that your Noah or my Ethan won't be the first to do something amazing? It's all about giving them EVERY chance, and it starts with thinking positively.
This was probably clear as mud, but maybe some small part of what I'm trying to say actually was communicated by what I wrote, LOL!
And I don't think your husband has FALSE HOPES, I think he is just trying to see his son as a little boy, like any other little boy. And as far as giving him space, sheesh, give me a break. You guys sounds like a heck of a team....and you'll come through this TOGETHER. This is a new landscape, having a new baby is a huge adjustment for ANY relationship, throw in a disability, and all heck breaks loose. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your marriage or that you need to retreat to your separate corners.
I forget that lots and I can accidentally hurt my DH's feelings sometimes. 
My DH is more sensitive then most men. 
I understood where you were coming from and I know Jess will too.
