picking up bad behaviors

[jelanismom]

How would you all handle this...my son takes the bus and sits with a boy that has behavioral issues. Ok, what this boy does is hits himself in the head and says "ow" like he's hurt. I've seen him do it as I put Jelani on the bus. Jelani comes home doing this now too and has been for a month. This boy is also in his class. I dropped Jelani off at school today and the teacher was literally peeling this boy off the chalkboard as he's kicking and screaming.

I just don't know how well this self contained class benefits Jelani. The other children seem well enough behaved, but I'm not sure. This Thursday is a scheduled conference for teacher/parent to discuss each child's progress at the end of this 2nd trimester.

I really need your advice. This is his first year in Kindy after 2 years of preschool and he's never copied anything this bad. He's in the stage of mimicking and becoming more verbal and I'm thrilled. Except he's teeth grinding, hand waving AND now hitting himself in the head when he's frustrated, I'm unclear what to do at this point.

[Emilysmom]

I would think the teachers and whoever is responsible for where the kids sit on the bus would understand this issue. Because Jelani is going through a stage of mimicking and becoming more verbal, it is such an important time for him to be able to model his behavior after children who are not behaving in the way you described. I think it's totally acceptable to ask to have him moved to a seat on the bus where he does not see this boy hitting himself in the head. (If this boy gets attention for those behaviors, of course Jelani will want to try it too......what kid wouldnt'??) Maybe by bringing this to the teachers attention, they will begin to work a bit harder on a behavior plan for the other little boy and that could help him too?

Susan

[andrewsmom]

I'm sorry I don't have any great advice for you....but I think Susan had great advice.
I'm actually curious to see some other responses as well. I am going through the same thing with Andrew. He will cross his arms, stomp his foot and yell "NO", and then laugh and do whatever I had told him too. So obviously, he is mimicking the behavior because it's not at all his manorisms (sp) and he just doesn't get that it's really defiance.
Great question!

-Trisha

[Renee']

I would push for more time with typical peers. Lauren emulates others too. She has done the same thing. If you don't get a hold of it now it will only get harder and then they will try to keep him out of the typical class because he has a behavior problem. That is where we are now.

[jelanismom]

Thanks for your advice and I'll seek a reassignment for the bus seating...it changes daily but I'm actually more concerned about the other boy being in his class (I know, can't be too picky) but I just see such a change in Jelani's once easygoing personality-turned troubling behavior stuff...I don't even know if I made sense there!lol

I really understand the changes our kiddos go through in their development, becoming more aware of their place in the world and their little minds are forming so fast...he's just not around other kiddos being that he hasn't any siblings...so classmates are his peers and he is picking up everything. I'm just really worried because the teacher writes in his communication book that he sits alone during recess and doesn't engage with the others and top that off with hitting himself in the head.....well I just don't know what the best thing is to do...I spoke already to his teacher and asked about forming a behavioral plan. She and I have a meeting Thursday for a progress report. I know I'm going on and on but as you see, I can't find the answers...the teacher hasn't offered anything yet.

I may need to find where on earth oliviasmomma Steff went to!!!! She had some advice about behavioral planning but I lost touch with her. If anyone knows her whereabouts, lol..then please do tell!!!

[twosomy21]

i started to write last night but .....
kyle has did this before and it comes and goes, he is 10 and has had his share of many different classmates. the behaviors exist everywhere the sp.ed classes are no exeption,but i have always "niped it in the bud" as soon as he started he knew it was not acceptable because he would look at me(its not their way of communicating)its mimicking and i know kyle understood that so like i said it would come and go but i also talked with teachers,sp.ed director at one point i was going to move him(you can only controll your child) and my defense was that this is indirectly affecting kyle.but it is going to happen you need to see how far you can controll the situation by calling out jalani everytime he does this, MOVE his bus seat (the behavior can escalate on the bus) let 'THE KID" sit next to anothers child that parents do not mind-not yours.talk with powers that be because this is not good for your son i was even giong to ask for an aid in class for kyle because of anothers child- how weird is that?i think you can get jalani back to his sweetself it just takes work. its sad because although kyle is bright he is not in reg.ed-just goes to show there are levels even in sp. ed.
sorry for the long response good luck

[momofrussell]

I don't have much advice, my child was the one other's were mimicking a few years ago.. not good things either.. flapping, licking...LOL

When Jelani does this, don't bring attention to it. Fact is, kids are going to do this even the ones w/o DS actually. Try to ignore the bad behaviors and keep praising the good ones when at all possible And yes, talking to the teacher is a great idea as well as a new seat assignment!

Good luck!

A.

[Connie]

Hummm....

I've said what you have before in the past Behaviors I just didn't want to have to deal with because we had enough of our own behaviors and didn't need anything additional

But, keep in mind.....Typical kids can also teach our kids bad behaviors!!! Such as playing in the bathroom...then when your child gets involved and doesn't have enough will-power to keep from joining in....He's the one that gets all the blame because it's always the last person that gets caught

While our kids can mimic typical kids... we need to remember speech is also being mimicked and also includes those taboo 4 letter words!!! My little one has learned how to use a couple of these words....he even uses them in the correct context!!! Peer role modeling is a great thing ;D

Connie

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

I'm not there yet but here is a ((((((HUG)))))) just for you. I'm sorry this is going on I know you will resolve it the best way you can