Am I wrong?...(warning..long post)

[Ericsmomma]

When we went to Eric's parent-teacher conference last week, I couldn't help but get the feeling that his teacher is totally frustrated with him. Let me give you some info first. Last year, Eric went to school 4 full days per week, from 8:30-3:30pm. He had a hard time with the long hours. He was often tired and cranky,
and he did get sick often (I ended up keeping him out of school most of February and March ...chronic sinususitis..endless snotty nose). The school wasn't happy with him being out all the time, but it couldn't be helped. And if I did send him with the runny nose, they would be sending him to the nurse's office, and eventually, home.
This year, they offered us 1/2 day schedule, 5 days per week. This included bus transportation. I asked the director if this shortened time would affect his therapy sessions, and she assured me it wouldn't. The plan would be for him to attend school from 12:30-2:45pm, coming home about 3:30pm. Well, the bus doesn't usually pick him up till about 12:30-12:40 pm.
This means he doesn't get to school till about 1:00pm.
Time he settles down in his classroom its probably about 1:15pm. That leaves about 1 1/2 hours for him to participate in class, and have his therapy.
The teacher has complained to me about having to "constantly" change his diaper...which is time consuming. (she didn't know he had hirschsprung's disease...which still causes him to "stain" his diaper frequently). And his teacher says he's very defiant (wow!! what a revelation!) I just get the feeling that things are very rushed for him due to the time factor.
So today I called the director and inquired about switching him to all day if there is an opening. She wasn't too thrilled....she was very condascending and kept asking me "Are you going to send him 5 days??"
I told her "yes, unless he's sick", and she says "which is often"!! She was also very defensive when I told her I don't think Eric is getting enough class time, especially since he's getting to school later than expected. She denies he's loosing any therapy time, and felt things were fine. Maybe I'm reading into things, but I think she
thinks I'm a pain in the a....! All I want is the best situation for Eric....like we all do....so if adjustments need to be made, I can't understand why they are giving me a hard time! Its not like I'm asking for her KIDNEY!! And I also stressed that unless there was an opening in the all day class he would stay where he is.
Am I being too demanding? Have any of you had to change things around to better suit your child?
Oh, how I detest school stuff!

[Ericsmomma]

duh, you can tell I had a bad day...I meant to post this under the general topics...sorry about the goof!

And I'm not computer savy enough to move it!

[andrewsmom]

I'm sorry I am no help here since Andrew is not in school yet. But I wanted to let you know you actually helped ME with this post. I have been dreading Andrew going to school next year. I think 3 is too young (probably no problem for Andrew but a problem for Mom...kwim?). So I have been talking to the spec. ed teacher and she said I would have my pick of full or half days and I couldn't even think about putting him in full days. After reading your post I now see why I would put him in full days.
I think you are absolutely right. Between his bus being later and then he has to settle in to class (just like any child) and then therapy, when is his real class time? How will he learn to interact with his peers or make any progress in the classroom if he's not there enough? Andrew takes a LONNGG time to warm up anywhere we go. If he was shuffled around too much, he would definately act out... I know my boy.

I'm sorry I can't point you in the right direction or tell you who to talk with or anything, but I think you are doing the right thing and the school should recognize that. I really don't look forward to dealing with the school system as I have enough problems with EI. Good luck!
-Trisha

[Debi]

That's okay Dolly you know we all read ALL the sections of our beloved BB!!
I am wondering how in the heck t hey can guarentee Eric's therapy time w/ that schedule??Even on the best of days when everyone (like the therapists ) is running on time (which NEVER happens) that doesn't seem like a whole lot of time to me. Gabe, at five went 4 days a week from about 8 am to 2 and that included speech/ OT / plus all the curriculm that he was exposed to .. No way would he have been able to get therapies and school in a half day.
Couple of thoughts: one would be to see if you thought Eric was ready for pull ups yet.. that might reduce some of the diapering time altho.. even utilizing that time saver doesn't seem to me to give him that much time .
Also I do not think you are at all unreasonable to inquire about changing the length of day for Eric. As everyone on here is tired of hearing me say: the IEP IS the program ; not the program we have THEN the IEP.
If what works for Eric is three full days a week say or some combination of full and part days they CAN find a way to make that work.
Gabe used to miss SO Much school all during preschool for colds mostly but Doctor stuff also and sometimes it was most depressing for both this Mom and school so you have lots of sympathy from me on this matter. But, ya know he rarely misses now so some of this is just living through it.
Your director said that Eric was getting all his therapy time but I would ask her for documentation. In order to decide just what kind of program you want for Eric you need to know how much time he is getting and when.
Good luck.. hope it gets better . Come here and vent and then go back to the school and get what's best for Eric!!

[Emilysmom]

Dolly~
First of all, if you want to move this thread to the general section so it might get more replies, let me know and I can help with that. I would be concerned if I was you too!
Mostly, I think I'd be concerned about the attitude of the teacher. I would hate to think that my child was spending even half of his day with someone who is totally frustrated with him, for whatever reason. And for her to be so condescending to you...........what's up with that??? Does she understand that you're a nurse and that you KNOW when he's sick enough to not be at school? Does she understand that he may not be getting from her what he needs and THAT is why he acts out??? I'm not sure that MORE time with her would be the answer, even if there was a possibility of a full day. Is this the only placement option for Eric? Could you request an aide, who could help with the diapering, etc? I would agree that 1.5 hrs at school can't possibly be enough for him to get any class time or any consistent therapy time. Very frustrating situation. Can you sit down with her and explain that you FEEL that she is frustrated with him and with you and you want to work this out for HIM? I wish I could help more.

Susan

[ALLISA]

Isn't that the beauty of the IEP....INDIVIDUAL, INDIVIDUAL !!

You are so right to worry about the squeezed time...there is no way he is getting all he needs in that tiny window.

Bu can't they work at all with his scheudle ? .....such as a 4 or 5 hour day..... 8:30 - 1:00 or 11:30 - 3:00....

something like that ? I ALWAYS wanted Erin there for lunch because feeding skills were an issue with us and I really wanted her to get a lot of support in that area.

Now maybe with a modified schedule the bus wouldn't be an option....but perhaps if you agreeed to drive one way, maybe it would work....at least be a good transition until he is ready to switch to full day.


Good luck & let us know !!

[Chris]

Dolly,

I just wanted to let you know that we keep Sarah in school 3/4 of a day three days a week and a 1/2 day two days a week. We wanted her to eat lunch at school and we needed her to be in school for a longer day on Tuesday and Thursdays due to our work schedules.

We have had nothing but cooperation from her teacher and her school. She is in a self-contained special ed school and I feel they are more willing to be flexible. Last year, I had her in our neighborhood school in a PPI room and it just wasn't a good match. Last year, I didn't feel like her teacher wanted Sarah in her classroom, not because Sarah was a behavior problem but because she was so delayed. Her teacher didn't seem to see any growth in Sarah although we did. I felt we were taking a leap backward when we put her in a more restrictive environment but I knew we needed a change. You would not believe how much Sarah has blossomed this year. I think a lot of her progress is due to a teacher who believes in her and is excited about each tiny little development that Sarah makes.

Trust you gut. If this teacher doesn't like Eric, I would start looking for a different placement. I think the teacher is more important than the program he attends.

Keep us updated.

Chris

[hannahph]

I am curious, is this a special needs school? It really seems like they are uneducated about DS or they don't really care. I would be really upset with their attitudes, especially the direstor.I f she can't be supportive how is the teacher supposed to be? I would start looking at other placements too, I know it's not that easy but this situation does not seem good.