Post by CC on Jan 3, 2007 21:11:09 GMT -5
crawl into a hole.... LOL
*I was at the golf store
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>> Comparing different kinds
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>> of golf balls.
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>> I was unhappy with the women's type
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>> I had been using. After browsing for
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>> several minutes, I was approached
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>> by one of the good- looking gentlemen
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>> who works at the store. He asked if
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>> he could help me.
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>> Without thinking, I looked at him
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>> and said,
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>> "I think I like playing with men's balls."
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>>
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>>
>>
>>
>> *My sister and I were at the mall and passed
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>> by a store that sold a variety of candy
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>> and nuts. As we were looking at
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>> the display case, the boy behind
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>> the counter asked if we needed
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>> any help. I replied,
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>> "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
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>> My sister started to laugh hysterically,
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>> the boy grinned, and I turned
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>> beet-red and walked away.
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>> To this day, my sister has never
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>> let me forget.
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>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> *Have you ever asked your child
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>> a question too many times?
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>> My three-year-old son had a lot
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>> of problems with potty training
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>> and I was on him constantly.
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>> One day we stopped at Taco Bell
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>> for a quick lunch in between errands.
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>> It was very busy, with a full dining
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>> room. While enjoying my taco,
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>> I smelled something funny,
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>> so of course I checked my
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>> seven-month-old daughter,
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>> and she was clean.
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>> Then I realized that Danny had not
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>> asked to go potty in a while,
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>> so I asked him if he needed to go,
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>> and he said, "No."
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>> I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child
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>> has had an accident, and I don't
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>> have any clothes with me."
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>> Then I said,
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>> "Danny, are you SURE you didn't
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>> have an accident?"
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>> "No," he replied. I just KNEW that
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>> he must have had an accident,
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>> because the smell was getting worse.
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>> Soooooo, I asked one more time,
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>> "Danny, did you have an accident?"
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>> This time he jumped up,
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>> yanked down his pants, bent over
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>> and spread his cheeks and yelled.
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>> "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
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>> While 30 people nearly choked to
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>> death on their tacos laughing,
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>> he calmly pulled up his pants and
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>> sat down.
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>> An old couple made me feel better
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>> by thanking me for the best laugh
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>> they'd ever had!
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>>
>>
>>
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>> *This had most of the state of
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>> Michigan laughing for 2 days
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>> and a very embarrassed female
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>> news anchor who will, in the future,
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>> likely think before she speaks.
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>> What happens when you predict
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>> snow but don't get any?
>>
>> A true story. We had a female
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>> news anchor who, the day after
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>> it was supposed to have snowed
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>> and didn't, turned to the
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>> weatherman and asked:
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>> "So Bob, where's that 8
>> inches
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>> you promised me last night?"
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>> Not only did HE have to leave
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>> the set, but half the crew did too!
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>>
>>
>>
>> While on a flight from New York ,
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>> the Stewardess was busy passing
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>> out peanuts and cokes to everyone.
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>> There were about sixteen flights
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>> lined up waiting to get clearance
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>> to take off.
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>> Then the other Stewardess got a
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>> message from the Pilot that the
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>> tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in
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>> line to take off, and to have
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>> everyone buckle up.
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>> Without thinking she just announced
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>> "Please buckle up, grab your drinks
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>> and hold your nuts, we're taking off!".
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>> No one saw her for the rest of the
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>> flight to Houston, and all the other
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>> Stewardesses were laughing
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>> all the way and so were half of
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>> the passengers.
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>>
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>> Now, didn't that feel good ?
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>> Pass it on to someone
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>> you know who needs
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>> a good laugh
