hmm..he needs an aide

[andrewsmom]

Hi everyone!!

I know most of you are aware Andrew started preschool back in February. All in all it has gone pretty good. He still gives me a hard time leaving him, but it's getting much better. I have felt so guilty leaving him and I think I have had more tears running down my face leaving the school then he has.

When he began preschool we asked if he could have an aide and they pretty much brushed us off saying, and I quote "aides are not usually given until more academics are introduced. "
That was fine....at that point. We figured we would give it a try without an aide and we were confident Andrew would be just fine. After all, they are the ones who said "pre school is more about socialization and getting along with peers and routines then it is academics." Fine.

We have a communication sheet that comes home everyday that lists what Andrew has participated in and what he has not. Circle time is always checked off as yes, he participated. Well that's because I am staying everyday for circle time and keep him focused. The class does a project at the project table everyday and usually makes something or colors something. I would have to say that about 95% of the time his sheet comes home and it is marked off NO, with a short explaination. Such as, wasn't at all interested, or didn't want to sit at table, etc.

Well, I will try to shorten this up a bit for you. This past week I have left the classroom and waited a few minutes in the hallway. Then I quietly peek in the window of the classroom door and see what Andrew is up too. Andrew is either hiding in the playhouse by himself, or sitting in a corner. He is not interacting with the other children at all. It seems like the teacher and the classroom helper are more then OK with this, but I am not. My heart just breaks seeing him hiding in that play house, or watching him stare at the other kids from a corner of the room. All it would take for him to interact with the other kids would be an adult taking his hand and walking him over to them. I also know this would have to happen everyday. An adult would have to guide him to the other children, and then guide him to whatever activity they were doing, stay with him and interact with him. That's why he participates in circle time everyday. Because I am with him and push him to interact.

I've always said I don't want Andrew dependent on an aide or an adult, but the way it's heading is just not going to help him at all. He needs someone to guide him from one activity to another and engage him in what is actively going on at the time.

I am going to call on Monday and ask to set up another appointment with the Sped director. There are no real safety concerns with Andrew, so what else can I say to get her to change her mind and give Andrew an aide in the fall? Is there anything that I can look up somwhere? I've looked through wrightslaw but they are sort of vague about aides at this young age. I don't know what else to do. I know he needs an aide to get a full pre school experience, but I don't have any info to back up my request. Any ideas? Any suggestions??

Thanks!!!
-Trisha

[Cathy]

Trisha,

It breaks my heart to think that your school district doesn't think aide are necessary until academics are in place. I can tell you from experience, Katie (who is in Kindy) has had an aide for the last two years! Her aide is there for many reasons, but the main one is to keep Katie focused. Pre-school and kindergarten are pre learning classes. They are suppose to help ready ALL children for academics.

How can they justify not giving you an aide? Burns me! Katie's aide this year has been awesome, she is charge of Katie and makes sure that she is included in EVERYTHING! She is not allowed to segregate herself. The aide walks her down the hall, brings her back to circle time when Katie wants to wander.

She takes Katie to the side for "academics" writing, art projects, anything. I find that Katie works better one on one for those items that require more focus. Katie doesn't seem to mind. The rest of the class she is right there with her peers! She has done AWESOME this year. We have chosen to redo Kindy next year, but only because we do not feel Katie is ready to sit in a desk for the entire day yet. But Because of her AIDE she is much better at staying on task and enduring the learning times than she was last year!

Good Luck. All districts will pull, the "We can't afford an aide" card but if you can justify it (Sometimes agreeing to have a person work one on one with Andrew). It can be the classroom aide. We do not officially ask for a one on one, but it turns out that way, for many reasons. One being, by having Katie stay focused, the rest of the class is more focused. KWIM.

Ok enough rambling, good luck and keep us posted.

Hugs,

CAthy

[Monique]

Hi, first, do you know what the ratio is for the class? Usually it should be 12 kids 1 teacher and 1 special ed teacher if there are any children with special needs. If you are purely going to a non- special needs school, I would definately say that you have observed the class on many occasions and they do not have enough teachers to help with Andrew's special focusing needs. Pre-school is somewhat academic (in regards that he will be getting ready for kindegarten) and he needs extra attention in the areas that require special projects etc.

If he has any ot or pt then you can say that he needs assistance with drawing, crayons, etc and someone needs to help him.

If you have any resistance with getting an aide, i would stop the conversation (once you see it is definately getting you nowhere) and tell them you want to go to mediation.

It's funny because we never wanted an aide and the school was more scared about any liability and always gave us one. LOL. This year we are stopping the aide cuz they help him too much.

I'm pretty sure you can use their sheets as ammunition (where it says "not interested" 95% of the time) as proof that his special needs are not being addressed. As well as the fact that it has been proven that when you are there and he has someone helping him, he does much better. This sounds like a no brainer, but if your school district is anything like mine, you may have to use the old " i want to go to mediation" if they dont want to give it to you.

I would get on this right away as half the time, my experience is that they dont always have a multitude of one-to-one aides and will need to find one.

Good luck and dont be afraid to ask for what you know he needs!! Keep us posted!

Monique

[ALLISA]

hhmmmm....well, my first inclination is that you shouldn't even be staying for the circle time. Although I am sure you love it, he needs to be able to be in school WITHOUT you. If the teacher actually tried to run her circle AND keep him focused....my guess is that she, too would agree that he needs an aide.

As for his playing alone in playhouse, etc....sure it's working for the teacher NOW because he is basically quiet and not disrupting anyhting.....but as all moms know.....that won't last long, at some point he will become bored and start to be disruptive just so that he is engaged in any way he can be.


And you said there is a classroom helper already.....well....who the heck is she helping ?? And why not Andrew ??

I agree he needs an aide to at least help him get used to the routine of the classroom....maybe after he has that schedule and routine down, he won't need her as much.....but they should at least give him that chance !

Does he have summer school ? I was glad to see an update....even if it isn't FABULOUS news....I was wondering how you guys were and how school was going !

[andrewsmom]

Thank you all for your replies! I should have told you that Andrew is the only special needs in his class. There is one other little boy that is non-verbal, but he seems fine with every other area, and has actually started talking more the past few weeks.


Allisa...you made me laugh....."you said there is a classroom helper already.....well....who the heck is she helping ?? And why not Andrew ??" I have said this to my husband so many times. She actually is helping all the "typical" kids. Why?? I have no idea.

Monique...thank you for the info about mediation. I honestly didn't know where else to go, but after reading your reply I have looked up mediation and now....with my new knowledge....I feel better prepared. Thank you.

Well, I'm off to make my phone call to the SPED director. I will let you all know how it goes. Thanks again! It's nice to feel like I have a little back up from other people.

-Trisha

[andrewsmom]

Hi!! I just have a quick second to hop on and let you all know....

Andrew will have an aide in the fall!!!! ;D ;D ;D
I'm so happy! They have even told me who his aide will be, and that she is thrilled to have him next year.

When I first spoke to the sped director, she told me it would have to be a "team decision" and that she would get back to me. I then asked her (ever so nicely) if they couldn't find an aide for him in the fall, how I would go about sending him to a private pre school in the next town. Heehee...that didn't go over to well with her. She then back peddled rather quickly and said there was no need to go that far, and said she would do everything she could and get back to me today.

I couldn't have been happier when she called this morning and told me we were all set, she had an aide for Andrew and would put all the paperwork together and send it to me.

When I went to pick up Andrew today, his teacher said she had heard who the aide would be in the fall, and was happy that Andrew would have more help. ;D ME TOO!!!!

Thanks guys for all your help. **sigh** Now I can sleep happily tonight.

-Trisha

[Cathy]

AWESOME!!!

[ALLISA]

YEAHHH Trisha !!

[Monique]

YIPEEE! you did it! So glad! Another Unomas victory!

Monique

[admama]

My son did not get an aide until the 6th grade. He is now in 11th grade and still has an aide even though he is very independent he still needs an aide to help him with his work at his level. I like the idea that he did not have an aide when he was younger because he got along well at school and was included in some classes with typical peers and did well. Once he got to middle school it got more difficult for him so I requested an aide . Of course it was not easy they did not want to give him an aide but I was stubborn and did not give up he has the rights like any other child to be educated in the least restrictive environment and with whatever aide he needs to learn as much as he is capable of learning. I have had some people tell me well if the aide is with him all the time won't he get so used to the aide that he will not do anything when the aide is not there. Well no my son is very independent and he goes to the classrooms by himself if the aide needs to do something . My son is now a Junior in High School and I know if it was not for the aide he would not be where he is today . I am so thankful for the aide. My advice is to keep a notebook that you send back and forth to communicate with the aide on a daily basis it is so awesome to know how your child is doing at school.