here we go again...2nd grade decision

[meghans_mom]

sigh..that time is coming....planning Meghan's 2nd grade year.

Currently she is at our home elementary school in the integrated class w/ an aide.

My options:
Continue in our home school w/ MM entering the 2nd grade integrated class w/ an aide in the fall

or:
self-contained classroom at the other elementary school (there are 3 in our district but this other school is the only one w/ the self-contained)

my issues - some big, some small, some problems in my own mind...

-these schools only go to 2nd grade - when MM goes into 3rd she goes to a different school (in my mind I'd hate to make her switch schools AGAIN next year...only to have to go to another new school when she gets to 3rd grade)

-the new, expanded, and just plain MORE curriculum and work she will be facing....second grade, after all, is more intense than 1st. the kids are expected to do and know more, and be even more independent.
while she does well now w/ keeping up - I know she's not at the same level as her typical peers, and I don't want her to fall even further behind...

-Meghan knows this school, and likes it there and her friends, etc (not that she goes on playdates, etc but she does get invited to all the parties...but there are a handful of girls she plays w/ everyday, etc)
She has been in a different school preschool-kindy-first....if I change it will be different for 2nd then 3rd again (same point as above, I know)
She is a SHY kid, and I hate to make her change yet again because I seriously think it takes her about 5 months to get comfortable in these situations....

-Meghan has the most fabulous speech therapist...if she leaves this current school, we lose the therapist

when i met the other day w/ her teachers and they said about going to the self-contained they said to me
"Meghan is doing really well, and has made such strides since the beginning of the year, but we wonder how MUCH BETTER she would have done had she been in self contained this year"
which kind of gave me pause...I know the self contained follows the same curriculum and uses the same work books, etc but just goes at a slower pace for the kids..but how do I know that they've even covered half of what Meghan has this year?
She's reading fairly well (and sounding out what she can't)...her reading comprehension is getting better but still not great and she can do addition, subtraction, money stuff, etc...

does anyone have a crystal ball I can borrow...how the heck do I make this decision?!?! I don't know what is "right" for Meghan...what I'm doing, is it for her or for me...what the school is doing (recommending) -- is it because it is easier (and cheaper...no aide) for them or because it is better for Meghan?

arrrrgggghhhhh...!!!!!!!!

[laurasnowbird]

Laurie,

Change IS hard, for all of us, and especially hard for us to enforce on our kids because they often have more difficulty adapting.

I have a feeling about this, and I'll share it with you. I think the only way to help our kids learn to adapt is to put them in situations where they must learn to do so. While Ethan has a schedule, per se, we go to great lengths to change it up periodically. We don't want him to become rigid and unable to handle change.

Your daughter may lose this great speech therapist, but what will she gain? She'll continue with the kids she knows, and who know her. She'll have a new speech therapist who may see her with fresh eyes and have fresh ideas. She'll learn to navigate a new school, and increase her confidence in her ability to handle new situations and places.

As far as the curriculum goes, always remember that inclusion does NOT mean that your child has to be doing what their peers are doing academically. Assignments are to be modified. She has to be learning and achieving her IEP goals, but those are set by you and the team, and are NOT necessarily the same academic goals as the other children. Her modifications might mean she studies the same subject but tests have less questions, that her tests are multiple choice rather than essay, etc.

When I'm struggling with this, especially at this early age, I always remind myself that I'm preparing Ethan to live in the world that *I* live in. I can't keep him in a sheltered environment when he leaves school....he'll be dealing with people on a daily basis that function at our level, so I do my best to prepare him for that world.

I disagree with the teachers that Meghan would be doing more if she were in the self-contained classroom. MAYBE she would be doing more academically (but for some reason I doubt it) but would she be as able as she is now?

I'm not sure what you mean about her falling further behind. It sounds like she is performing VERY well for a child her age with DS. Don't compare her to her typically developing peers, that isn't fair to Meghan. DO look at the goals you've established in her IEP and assess how well she is reaching those goals. If she isn't, challenge the team to determine what supports or services are needed to get her there. Be realistic but aggressive with her goals for next year. Expect them to help her progress alongside her typically developing peers!

In the end, I'm sure you'll make the best decision for Meghan. Just don't let them intimidate you into making the decision that is easy for them, or let them forget how inclusion should work.

HUGS!!! Laura

[jelanismom]

And someone here said something a while back to me about laurasnowbird and I was too into my own world to listen....so thankful for this advice she gave you, I read and re-read it twice for help in my own thinking , thanks....very helpful putting it all into perspective for me and it's meghan's mom's post! lol...maybe I should spend more time reading ahead of my situation...

goodluck with your decision Laurie, I agree with her answer to you 100% for whatever help me saying that is!

D~

[Emilysmom]

Laurie,
I'm a bit late to respond to this, but I felt like you made such GOOD points!!! I hope you don't mind if I quote you here:

"-Meghan knows this school, and likes it there and her friends, etc (not that she goes on playdates, etc but she does get invited to all the parties...but there are a handful of girls she plays w/ everyday, etc)
She has been in a different school preschool-kindy-first....if I change it will be different for 2nd then 3rd again (same point as above, I know)
She is a SHY kid, and I hate to make her change yet again because I seriously think it takes her about 5 months to get comfortable in these situations....

-Meghan has the most fabulous speech therapist...if she leaves this current school, we lose the therapist."


Seems like she has made some awesome progress this year, and she can continue that progress next year with the same students. No one can say that she would have done "better" if she had been in a self contained classroom. I'm annoyed that the teachers even said that. You know her..........and if it takes her 5 months to adjust, she might lose ground instead of gaining it. I would want her to stay at her current school, in the regular 2nd grade class with whatever modifications are needed. She doesn't have to do the same assignments as all the other kids. She has to study the topics they are working on.........modified for her to be successful! In the younger grades, that really is very doable!

Let us know what you decide. You know her best!!!!

Susan

[ALLISA]

Laura IS the best so I won't even bother to give better advice.....but......

you said you don't know what to do and need a crystal ball.....welll.......the only thought I have is that you didn't say ONE negative thing about her current circumstance.....there seems to be NOTHING there that you'd change......you were quite happy with eveything....UNTIL.....THEY brought up the idea of change......

That tells me a lot .......

[meghans_mom]

Ladies...I just want to say thank you for all the great advice...here I am 3 months later....lol. BUT THANK YOU!
We still haven't made a decision, but I think its becoming clearer :-)

hugs, laurie