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Help :(
May 21, 2008 12:30:29 GMT -5
Post by Renee' on May 21, 2008 12:30:29 GMT -5
We were at her dance class and one of the moms who lurks here was in the room with me. It was time to go and I had my other two girls with me. I asked Lauren to get up so we could go home and she said no and crossed her arms. I asked someone to hold the baby and I went back in and got down to her level and then looked her in the eye and again told her it was time to go. When I reached for her hand she went to the prone position so I had to try and get her up from there. She is now 90 pounds so I can't lift her. I tried to pull her to her feet and she starts to scream NO. Then throws herself back and hits her head on the floor so now she is crying and screaming. Finally some of the other people in the room were able to get her up and going. I was so mad. Fast forward to today and she is a sweet wonderful girl and she sick. Then she ruined our TV. She hit our LCD with a spoon. I can't fix it. I ask her why she would do that and she said "I don't know" She rarely has anything nice to say. We are always telling her how wonderful she is. That she is beautiful and we love her. I just don't get it and I don't know what to do. It is wearing me down. *sigh*
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 12:41:50 GMT -5
Post by faithhope on May 21, 2008 12:41:50 GMT -5
((((((HUGE HUGS))))) Renee I am so sorry that she is going through this difficult stage, I hope it is just a stage. I have no advice, just want you to know I am thinking of you and praying. Love, Jess
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 14:36:03 GMT -5
Post by Ericsmomma on May 21, 2008 14:36:03 GMT -5
Renee, We've all had days like this, and yes, it does wear you down. And with having your other kids with you, it must have been even harder. Maybe she just wasn't feeling good. I know when Eric isn't up to snuff, he's 10x worse with his behavior. And with being non-verbal, you just have to guess whats going on with them...very frustrating for parents AND child! I don't really have any advice because I have a hard time dealing with this stuff myself. I can just keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 15:45:06 GMT -5
Post by rickismom on May 21, 2008 15:45:06 GMT -5
Maybe you need to see if you have any consistant problems, and work with behavior modification. 1 What exactly are her worse behaviors? 2 What does she gain from it? (Attention, even negative, getting out of something she doesn't like?)
Once you have these points you can work on a plan of POSITIVE reinforcement of good behavior, and setting limits, to affect a change.
Also consider if she has a co-existing condition (like ADHD) that medication could help.
All of this is not meant as a critism. I've been there. Today Ricki is Thank G-d much better behaved.
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 15:45:59 GMT -5
Post by rickismom on May 21, 2008 15:45:59 GMT -5
Maybe you need to see if you have any consistant problems, and work with behavior modification. 1 What exactly are her worse behaviors? 2 What does she gain from it? (Attention, even negative, getting out of something she doesn't like?)
Once you have these points you can work on a plan of POSITIVE reinforcement of good behavior, and setting limits, to affect a change.
Also consider if she has a co-existing condition (like ADHD) that medication could help.
All of this is not meant as a critism. I've been there. Today Rickey is Thank G-d much better behaved.
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 16:19:05 GMT -5
Post by Renee' on May 21, 2008 16:19:05 GMT -5
Thank you all. I have tried the behavior thing. We try only to respond to her in a positive way. We are pretty consistent with what we expect from her. We are still having issues with her wearing her hearing aides and her CPAP. She is always asking to go to my mothers and my cousins. Or she will ask if they can come over. It is almost like she is obsessed. I just want to be the best mom I can be and I feel like I am not doing so well. She does have ADHD and she has Oppositional Defiant issues.
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 17:05:38 GMT -5
Post by Googsmom aka Jennifer on May 21, 2008 17:05:38 GMT -5
(((((((Renee'))))))))) You are a wonderful mommy
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 17:14:38 GMT -5
Post by damarasmom on May 21, 2008 17:14:38 GMT -5
Renee, I'm so sorry you are all going through this tough time. I sure hope that it is only due to not being 100% and maybe she was sick at the time? I know what you mean when you said it wears you out...I think we all get there, so alot of understanding and support from here! Sure wish I had a majic cure for this, I would be rich!!! Try and keep your chin up, don't question yourself, you are a good Mommy...it's just how she is expressing herself right now. I sure hope it ends soon for you!
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Help :(
May 21, 2008 23:12:43 GMT -5
Post by lespring on May 21, 2008 23:12:43 GMT -5
Ohhh you have Angela's twin! I mean, like same diagnosis' and everything. Angela doesn't have a cpap though, but she has everything else, down to the hearing iads. Well...almost. Angela is happy about 80% of the time, and willing to do pretty much anything. But that other 20% of the time..WATCH OUT!!!! UGH! Angela, too, is now over 90 lbs, and since I shattered my wrist in March there is no way I can lift her.
And the TV? When Angela is in "a mood" one of the adults quietly goes around and picks up any throwable objects! LOL We have a 50" plasma, and Dean is trying to figure out a way to put Plexiglass in front of it....just in case.....
We just got a NB/TBI (neurobehavioral/Traumatic Brain Injury) waiver so that we can get in-home behavioral support services. Most of the time we're ok, but then meds stop working, or the earth revolves wrong and we find ourselves in crisis mode again. The last time (over Spring Break) was sure I was going to have to hospitalize her because I just could not manage her. Then we got a magical change in meds, and viola! All is well in the world again
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Help :(
May 22, 2008 7:54:48 GMT -5
Post by Chris too on May 22, 2008 7:54:48 GMT -5
Hormones? My 3 oldest girls are 9, 12, and 14. The hormones provide plenty of bad moods, but they are learning to manage the feelings and not let the hormones rule them any more than necessary. It is hard to do, and takes real determination to override hormonal moods, so we just go with coping mechanisms, like finding a way to be alone or getting outside for a romp. We also try to pay attention so that we can all recognize the symptoms & give the person in a mood plenty of room to control herself, giving her the benefit of every doubt, because we know that she is trying to behave well. If two or *gasp* all 3 of them are in a mood, we have to just reschedule the day.
Advise? If it is "just" hormones, let her see Grandma & cousins - maybe your mom can talk to her about her moods when she's in a good one. She needs to have coping mechanisms that work for her (& everyone else) and she needs to be able to recognize when she's feeling beligerant & know what to do if she is. You and she need to have an understanding so that you can work together toward those coping mechanisms. That will help her to see that you are on her side. Also, come up with some great distracting jokes for her - stuff that really makes her grin, so that you can break the train whenever you can.
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Help :(
May 23, 2008 21:18:08 GMT -5
Post by CC on May 23, 2008 21:18:08 GMT -5
Awww HUGS to you and Lauren.
I am a true believer that our kids in no way do this behavior on purpose. Something else is going on, least thats how I think.
I have been there with my Chris and I am not pushing meds at all but for us the difference for him was the meds. We tried for so long to NOT use meds and then one Doc said I get you don't want to use them but Chris is suffering because he needs them....
Not saying Lauren needs meds but is there a possibility she does. Just throwing it out there.
CC ~
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