Post by justafriend on Aug 6, 2004 14:05:28 GMT -5
I have a friend who recently gave birth to a beautiful daughter who has DS. She gets a lot of great support from the general parenting community we both belong to, but it's not the same as getting support from other parents of children who have DS.
She is having trouble finding a online support community that suits her needs, though, and I'm going to be very direct as to why. If I accidentally offend anyone, please know that it is not at all my intention, and I'm asking with only the utmost respect for this community and for each individuals' needs. I just want to be able to be honest about my friends' needs and why they're not being met elsewhere.
There is no question about how much love she has for her daughter. But she needs a place where she can talk honestly about just how hard it is sometimes, and how she wishes for herself and her daughter that this hadn't happened, without the focus of the responses being on that her dd is one of God's Little Angels and what a gift she is, etc. ALL of her children are gifts and angels, there's no question about that. But my friend is not Christian, and doesn't believe that having a child with DS was a special privilege that God gave her (which is the focus of some of the other boards she's tried). She really needs a community that will allow her to talk about how hard it is sometimes without making her feel guilty about wishing it wasn't so hard, for being sad, for mourning all that her dd may not be able to do.
She fully understands that MANY people get tremendous comfort from seeing their DS child's birth as part of God's plan, and has nothing but respect for those who feel that way. But it's just not the right perspective for her.
I read through Uno Mas briefly and got a sense that this might be a good community for her, one that is respectful of many perspectives and that may be able to offer compassion and support to a more diverse membership. But I figured that instead of recommending it to her without really knowing what response she'd get, I'd just ask straight out: Is this a place where there are people who can relate to what she's feeling and support her through it?
If it's genuinely not, that's ok -- she and I are members of another general parenting community that's not for everyone either. But if anyone knows of any communities that might better suit her needs, I would very much appreciate learning about them.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer.
She is having trouble finding a online support community that suits her needs, though, and I'm going to be very direct as to why. If I accidentally offend anyone, please know that it is not at all my intention, and I'm asking with only the utmost respect for this community and for each individuals' needs. I just want to be able to be honest about my friends' needs and why they're not being met elsewhere.
There is no question about how much love she has for her daughter. But she needs a place where she can talk honestly about just how hard it is sometimes, and how she wishes for herself and her daughter that this hadn't happened, without the focus of the responses being on that her dd is one of God's Little Angels and what a gift she is, etc. ALL of her children are gifts and angels, there's no question about that. But my friend is not Christian, and doesn't believe that having a child with DS was a special privilege that God gave her (which is the focus of some of the other boards she's tried). She really needs a community that will allow her to talk about how hard it is sometimes without making her feel guilty about wishing it wasn't so hard, for being sad, for mourning all that her dd may not be able to do.
She fully understands that MANY people get tremendous comfort from seeing their DS child's birth as part of God's plan, and has nothing but respect for those who feel that way. But it's just not the right perspective for her.
I read through Uno Mas briefly and got a sense that this might be a good community for her, one that is respectful of many perspectives and that may be able to offer compassion and support to a more diverse membership. But I figured that instead of recommending it to her without really knowing what response she'd get, I'd just ask straight out: Is this a place where there are people who can relate to what she's feeling and support her through it?
If it's genuinely not, that's ok -- she and I are members of another general parenting community that's not for everyone either. But if anyone knows of any communities that might better suit her needs, I would very much appreciate learning about them.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer.