How do you discipline?

[danikins]

Dani is 5 and is super, super sensitive. When she is naughty I am very firm and explain to her what she did wrong. She will just sit there and think about it. No fights, but quiet sobs. I give her about 30 seconds and then tell her why momma was unhappy with her behavior and then have her say sorry for whatever she did. We then hug and tell each other we love each other. She is then off to play. My ex is much more tough on Dani with discipline. I wonder if I am too soft. But she has vastly improved and daycare is very proud of how much better behaved she is.

For all age groups? How do you discipline?

Dani actually enjoys Time outs? But she hates a raised voice. Am I being manipulated. Plus, Dani is my one and only so no real experience.

Thanks,
Kim

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Brook hates a raised voice too. I'm the dicipliner around her, dad is the softy. I've been told 100 times by the kids who roam my house that i'm the softy when it comes to Brookster. "Why do we always get yelled at they say" ...LOL Brook is my baby. My googster. I do let alot of things slide w/ her but she is only two. There are some things I don't let slide though. Like NO and Stop!! Those are biggies for me. If I know she is doing something that she knows is bad, naughty or wrong she will sit in time out. I will tell her what she did was not acceptable for the momma and I too get the big huggies and off she is to play. The others are 14, 11 and 5 and sometimes 24 and 25. Yep I yell at the oldest ones too {Just had a nice firm disscussion/yell w/ the 24 yr old yesterday about driving w/ no insurance. Cost Aunt Jenn almost $500 bucks to get the stoopid car out of impound. Arghhhhhh}

I guess I have no real advise for you. I do have some {{{{{{HUGS}}}} though. I often feel like I should be a little more strict w/ Brook but i'm older now and have been through many a kids in my house and i'm old and tired. Like right now she has gotten up on the dresser and got the box of wipers. She's doing a good job of washing the walls LOL

[elizabethsmom]

I think it depends on the child. All of my kids handled things differently. Even my twins - one would be crushed if she thought you could possibly, was even thinking of, or could be headed in the direction of being mad at her. The other, pooh, she'd take the chance. First one would rather you sat her on a chair for an hour than consider a spanking (she got the spanking), second, would definately rather take the quick spanking and be off (she sat on the couch ..... a LOT!) haha.

But, with all of them, once they were old enough to have "favorite" things and privileges, I took those away when they were really in need of discipline. This just seemed to matter more to them than anything else. So... that's what they lost. And, like Googsmom, now I'm older, calmer, and yes... more tired out haha. So.. Elizabeth may get away with more than the others. But, she's my baby. And... I really don't think I was all that strict with the older ones and they seem to be turning out just fine.

I am finding with Elizabeth that if you set her away from you (time out) for 2 minutes (age appropriate) and turn your back on her and refuse to give her your attention for that 2 min., she's devestated.(sp?) It seems to have helped with the biting and hair pulling I was having a problem with. I swat her diaper once, sit her on the floor (much to my 16 year old daughters dismay) and ignore her for about 2 minutes. Then pick her up, hug her and tell her she has to "be nice". Seems to have helped A LOT! (please don't let that jinx it)

I think it's just up to the parent finding out what works best with each kid.

[marisa]

We do give Laura time outs when she will not stop something when asked, but it is not that often. It is usually for something serious and non-negotiable like spitting, hitting, etc..

Most of the time, I find praise works best. If I praise her good behavior, she is likely to continue. I try to ignore bad behavior whenever possible because I find she sometimes acts out for a reaction, KWIM.

[lespring]

Angela could care less about yelling. She could care less about time-outs. She could care less about loss of privileges. She really doesn't care much about any consequences, which is probably 90% of my battle. You can try telling her about a reward ahead of time, like, "If you behave in the store, you can get m & M's." Well, 1/2 way through the store she say, "Fine! No M&M's for me! Nope! Fine!" (those EXACT words!) and then she will procede to misbehave. It's like she's announcing "This is too much for me, and your itty bitty M&M's don't make it worth my while."

She IS getting better about some things though. Like the other day I had to take Tyler to an appointment that ended up making Angela and I sit in a waiting room for THREE HOURS!!! This could have been a nightmare. Instead she was an angel! When it was time to go, she very carefully asked me, "Mom! I beed have in there waiting. Can I may I please get McDonalds?"

Well, Of course I HAD TO say yes!!!!! How could I NOT? LOL

[Chris too]

It sounds like you are getting the right results out of the discipline you are using. Why change what is working?

But since you asked: for Stevie time-out works best, but I tell her that she'll have to have "her back on the wall" because I don't make her face the wall or corner. It works for her. I found that if I threatened a spanking (which she knows I'll deliver, btw) to get her to quit running from me, she only gets confused. So I tell her to either come to me or put her back on the wall. Sometimes she comes & sometimes she puts her back on the wall Either way, she quits running from me. So I haven't found a good use for a spanking on this one - usually reserved for purposely causing physical harm (with evidence) to a sibling, but the firm voice works on Stevie to prevent that. Stevie is an easy one: a firm voice, following through on time-out & clear instruction (simplified really) work for her. And since I'm getting the behavior I'm looking for, I'll not feel like I'm being snowed.