Mixed feelings...

[CC]

Just got home from a 3 day, 2 night trip that was just the BEST Mom/Daughter bonding time ;D Time that was well spent and much over do. Kodi Lee and I went to Atlantic City, for some slot machines, which I did not win, well I was winning but then lost it all Spa time, great shopping, saw the play The Wedding Singer, GREAT food and lots of walking, talking and just enjoying sharing time with my first born ;D

OMG Colin was just so cute, we arrive home tonight to balloons and flowers on our porch welcoming his 2 favorite gals home ;D

Only one call from the nurse at the camp so far Chris is at and it had nothing to due with his heart ;D which was GOOD ;D

K, back to the mixed feelings. I honestly have to admit I was so stressed when we dropped him off and the first day after then I started to relax some and really enjoyed no locked doors, going and coming as I wanted, going away to a place that was for adults ... I love my boy tons, any that really know me, know that, no need to explain but man oh man having the free time was truly needed more then I ever realized.

I think of him all day and wonder if he is happy and having fun and bought him lots on my trip LOL but as much as I missed him I can honestly say I LOVED the time.

I hope you get what I mean. I would never ever not want my "Character" aka Chris BUT after 15 years a week of free time is really very nice ;D

With all that said... OMG I can not wait till Saturday morning and going to pick Chris up and just see that face of his and giving him the biggest hug ever ;D

CC ~

[Ericsmomma]

CC,
I totally understand.....we try to be EVERYTHING to EVERYBODY, and we lose sight of ourselves. That is especially true if you have a child with special needs...so much more to attend to...at times its overwhelming. And if we let it RULE our lives, we are at risk of loosing everything else. Its not easy to balance it all, and you can get really lost if you don't have
some time for yourself, your spouse, other siblings, etc...It doesn't mean you are not totally dedicated to Chris, you most certainly are! But we are only human...and we need time to refresh our mind, body, and spirit so we can get "back to business".
I'm glad you had wonderful time. And I'm sure Chris had a blast too! Let us know how he liked it!

[Pat]

Glad you had a good time
Only one more day. Enjoy!!
Pat

[laurasmom]

CC

I totally get what you are saying. I have felt the same way on several occasions. Since we have lived in South Carolina, my girls have spent the month of June with my mom. One week of that they are at camp and I am with my mom, then the rest of the time it is just me, and Mike after work. And I love it! I can set my own schedule, eat when I want, if I want. Watch what I want, read what I want. Recharge, renew.

I am always very ready for them to come back, and miss them terribly, but I also know I am a little better of a mom for having that time.

Sharon

[Chris too]

Cool. Sounds like you and Kodi had a great time! We all know that everyone needs a break from time to time, CC. I am happy for you that you are getting that time

[lorraine]

I'm glad you and Kodi Lee got to have some quality time together, that is important and I bet she really appreciated it too

I totally understand about needing time to do your own thing, and of course Chris will be back home before you know it.

We are away for the next week, but I will be looking forward to reading how he got on when we come back.

Lorraine

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

I'm glad you had a wonderful momma/daughter couple days That is the bestest. Chris will be home before you know it and he will tell of all the adventures at camp {{{{{{CC}}}}}}

[damarasmom]

I hear you!!! I can't wait for Damara to be old enough to go away over night...I know she will love it and I am looking forward to some time to do as I wish....Although she is only 4, we have not had a "adult night out" since she has arrived! We are so ready....
Glad you had a great time and you will be ready for him when it's time!!!

[Jackie]

I REALLY understand CC. I realized when we started letting go of Emily that there was a side of me I had totally forgotten existed. I must admit that it has taken me from 1999 when we started letting go...to the present to really cut those strings. I still want to be (as Dolly puts it) ALL THINGS to her. Frankly she does NOT want this and it's been very hard on me.

It is easy to say to someone who has the role of caregiver...to not lose sight of your own self and needs...but it is NOT an easy thing to actually do.

I must admit that when Em was firmly ensconced in her job with a caring family in Houston that I breathed my first real sigh of relief since her birth. So nice not to feel guilty if she was just sitting in her room lost in self talk, or worrying about her weight...etc.

I still have my moments , but I think if she came back home at this point...it would all be sooo different. She has found HERSELF now...she is no longer an extension of ME. And, I have found MYSELF again.

So enjoy these moments...create situations for more of them if you can...and don't feel guilty when YOU experience a sense of independence either...that's what this is all about.

Jackie

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Jackie, your so smart. I wanna hug you!!!!

[liasmom]

I can not wait til Lia can go to camp for a week. It seems I can never relax with her. I love her to death but-- a break would be great. Especially if I knew she was having fun and safe. Nancy

[Emilysmom]

CC,
I totally understand your feelings! I think they are 100% "normal". At least, I sure hope so, because I've certainly shared those feelings!!

Glad you had such an awesome time with Kodi. I'm betting that Chris is also having an awesome time, and he's going to be wanting to go back to camp every summer!!

Susan

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Is Chris home yet CC? How'd it go?