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Post by edugator on Sept 12, 2008 8:54:57 GMT -5
I am curious... my little guy with Ds was #2, his sister is just shy of 3 years older than him. He also has a sister 2 years younger and a brother 6 years younger.
I often wonder what impact it will have on him being stuck in the middle. It is hard to make sure all needs are being met when everyone is at such a different place developmentally. (They are, as of tomorrow, 10, 7, 5, and 6 months.) When he was younger, prior to his sister's arrival, he seemed to be ahead of the curve. Then over the next 2 years, we had some serious, almost autistic like regression. Many of the behaviors that appeared during that time still exist, no matter how we have tried to extinguish them. I think that is partly due to the fact that sister's needs took a front seat over his during that time. When we intially added his sister, our thought was that it would be great to have one to follow and one to push. That works some of the time, but not always. And now there is another little one whose needs are obviously above and beyond his sibs. We haven't seen any new behaviors, but I am WAY tired of the old.
Anyway, just curious!
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Post by jessjetland on Sept 12, 2008 13:39:23 GMT -5
Sam is the oldest for me (6) and Noah is 2, they are 4 years and nine days apart. I think in alot of ways Noah is good for him but then on the other hand he does take time away from Sam. Wish I could offer some advice here but hang in there Jess
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Post by Emilysmom on Sept 12, 2008 23:33:19 GMT -5
Emily has 2 older brothers and one younger (although at this point in their lives, the baby brother towers over her and "tries" to boss her around). I've always thought it was better that Emily is in the middle for exactly the reason you stated........older sibs to look up to, and one younger one to push her on. I do wish (more than anything else) that she had a sister though.
At one point, I had a 12 yr old, a very energetic 5 year old, Emily at age 3, and a newborn. I can still remember how exhausted I constantly felt!! When Emily's baby brother was born, she was not yet walking and I could barely keep up with the 5 yr old......he kept me hopping! So, I totally feel for you! I hope things get better for you. I'm sure you need some rest!
Susan
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Post by Connie on Sept 13, 2008 7:38:43 GMT -5
Collin's #3 of four. He has 2 older brothers and a younger sister, they are now 12, 10, 8, and 6. Each of them is different and has their own needs. I really don't think having a younger sister has taken away from Collin.
One thing I have always believed while is that with or without therapy our kids are going to end up exactly where their suppose to be...maybe not a quick but, they will get there.
I have felt guilty several times during his life because I didn't feel he was getting enough but I then had to step back and remind myself he will get there and it's no fair to the rest of my family if I dedicate so much to him. They are all important.
Hugs and he'll get there. I understand some behaviors and being really tired of them. We've had 4 years of transitioning trouble in school and I'm at my whits end.
Connie
PS. Susan....I think Jordan would look nice in a PINK dress and you buy his clothes!!
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Post by pmjc48 on Sept 14, 2008 1:50:19 GMT -5
Nicky is number 6, he has sisters of 39 and 38, brothers of 34,32, 30 and 10, Nicky is 21.
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Post by Chris on Sept 14, 2008 8:59:54 GMT -5
I have often wished that Sarah had siblings closer to her age. She has one sister who is 11 years older. My girls love each other with their whole hearts. It just seems to me that kids with Ds seem to develop faster when they have sibs close in age. I have always thought it was an advantage. On the other hand, I always say God gave me my girls 11 years apart because He knew that's all I could handle. Chris
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Post by coolmommy99 on Sept 14, 2008 11:48:05 GMT -5
Sarah is in the middle, too. Emma is 4 1/2 years older, and Katie is 2 years younger. It wasn't my ideal span between the younger 2, but the way things worked out, it couldn't have been better. Katie is already starting to outpace Sarah on a few things, and I can see how some things are easier for Katie. Speech is the BIG one. Katie was asking questions that both DH & I could understand by 18 months. Like 3-5 word questions. I really feel that since speech is Sarah's weakest area, that this is what was meant to be. Those girls are each other's best friends. As for birth order, I've always said that Sarah will be able to avoid that classic "middle child syndrome". She's way too outspoken to be forgotten, lol.
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Post by mollysmomma on Sept 14, 2008 12:23:43 GMT -5
i would have LOVED to have sibs surrounding molly...i think they do SO MUCH better! especially Verbally!
We looked into adoption, but the sarge was concerned (he's older than me) and as we looked, instead of finding typical babies...my heart kept reaching out to the ones LIKE molly! :-)
So we muddle along...and hope she gets her spurring on at school...it seems she's making all of them do it her way, though....
:-)
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Post by edugator on Sept 15, 2008 9:23:50 GMT -5
It is definitely a madhouse around here on most days, but I am not complaining! When I read posts about how everyone's kids are doing, I can't help but 'what if'... What if James was our 'only' and we had all the time in the world to spend on him. What if he had been first, and had a almost 3 year jump start. I know that is foolish practice, but I do it anyway! After having been around reading Uno for so long, I can't help it! Anyway, I find it interesting to read about the kids who are the youngest by many years or the only- it often seems like they have a leg up on things. No data to support this, just an observation through the years. I know that when it was just Em and James, James was my little gifted man- he was so physically ahead of the game, had some words, some signs. By the time Caroline was born, he had been in early intervention full time for 18 months, had been receiving OT, PT and oral motor therapy for even longer. Then things came to a screeching halt- and have progressed very slowly since. Now, I know that kids often regress when a new sibiling arrives, but even therapists and teachers were scratching their heads. Which is why we began wondering about Autism, especially since we had some very interesting sensory stuff going on. But, the verdict is still out, 5 years later. In reality we can only move forward, which we do each day. Some days are obviously better than others, but that is life! Happy Monday!
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Post by Chris too on Sept 16, 2008 8:52:18 GMT -5
Playing "what if" is like playing "I wish" - good for discouraging you about what is, and not much else. They make it much harder to be content. If you choose to be content with what is and not let yourself play the "what if" game, I think you will find that what you have is quite wonderful all on its own. About sibilings, I have always found that the time of a parent that must be spread a bit thinner is more than made up for in extra time with siblings. Siblings "pay for themselves" through a lifetime of being there for each other, whereas parents wear out and have grandkids to spread them even thinner. Parents are great, but siblings last longer - and the more the better (says the woman with only 6 - I started too late )
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Post by elizabethsmom on Sept 16, 2008 12:11:59 GMT -5
Elizabeth is our 4th. I have a 19 year old son, and twin 16 year old daughters. Elizabeth is only 18 months. So, she is outranked by a minimum of 15 years and still manages to "run the show" around here! But I do know what many of you mean. Joby and I have talked about how we wish she had someone closer in age, especially when she starts school. However, we're thinking about homeschooling so we'll see. We've talked about trying for another (not for Elizabeth, haha, but because we have thought about having another baby), but I'm almost 40 and had a heck of a time getting and keeping the pregnancy with Elizabeth. Don't know if I have the gumption to go thru all of that again. (the losses, the meds, etc)
I think she'll be just fine, and end up where she's meant to. But we have thought it might be nicer to have some company on the path.
Sheryl
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