I need to stop worry re:placement & enjoy holiday!

[jelanismom]

I'm just pondering placement again...when will I feel satisfied? I'm really kinda troubled about some things I hear when I drop him off at school...I think the random screams from the non- verbal kiddos (as sweet as they are) is really making an impact on me...I might be calling an IEP after I ponder and look for other placement options...I hate when I get this way, his class is great, the Speech Therapist says he's making great strides, I hear it at home, much more talking and naming what he likes/wants... but I'm so concerned about peer modeling in class! He comes home from school and squeals now too...he wasn't doing that thru' the summer...it's the 2 loving kiddos w/autism...(bless their hearts)...while the other 2 w/Ds are not screaming...but are picking it up too like Jelani...omg...I worry about regression and him being held back by this...sorry...just needed to vent...I'll shut up now, do chores, and clear mind for a minute...any ideas you have/haven't told me a million times are welcome! Thankyou.

[Connie]

I can really relate to what you are saying because I've been there myself. When Collin was younger say 5 he was in a special needs preschool 3 days a week and a regular ed class 2 days a week. The special ed class was were he made his greatest strides (much to my dismay).

I have come to learn that what's BEST for COLLIN is not necessarily what's BEST for me

As far as squealing, just because our kids have DS doesn't mean they are immune from going through different stages that other kids go through...they just go through them later . Also, I have a 6 year old girl who squeals...drives me absolutely Banana's!!! Plus, she's picked some annoying behaviors up from the rest of her 1st grade class that are about to get KNOCKED out of her!!! Bad behaviors are not isolated to Special Ed class rooms...

Now don't take what I'm saying wrong...because Collin is one to model behavior...both good and bad (ask me at a later time about the Typical kids and the boys bathroom :, or calling his aid Stupid or telling her to Shut up. Typical kids can also teach our kids some unwanted behaviors too

Good luck in your decision though!!!

Connie

[Kristin]

Relax and pick your battles. There is no class that is going to be perfect, so what I do is aim for what meets my daughter's most important needs, and decide what I can live with. We fight behavior issues everyday. They are mainly mouthy come backs like "zip it", and "you're fired", which she uses when she's frustrated. Luckily we've out grown some of the more entertaining behaviors (and phrases). Still, it's a new one every week. She picks up behaviors everywhere...TV, daycare, playground,... I think the excellent academic placement is worth working though the behaviors. You might just want to have a discussion with the teacher about both of you using the same plan to substitute an appropriate behavior. It really helps if you both respond the same way.

Right now, my typical first grader is driving me nuts with non-stop talking and noises!

[jelanismom]

Thankyou so much you guys I swear I needed to hear that...it put it into more perspective for me.

I still ponder it all though because of how well he can mimic "inappropriate"behavior... I feel he's not being surrounded by peers he can see what "appropriate behavior really is" and mimic this...
(even though typical kiddos still display inappropriate) I hold firm to the notion that we are defined by the company we keep...and he hangs on his playpal school mate who screams. I think it would be more to his advantage to hang onto a kid that could speak some words. Jelani has no siblings, no other litte pals he hangs out with. (except me) lol...I'm his old lady pal

But really though, if he can mimic odd behavior , then he can mimic more appropriate...and I don't see alot of appropriate behavior in class. Even with the awesome class structure and excellent teacher and staff/therapists, all the one on one, etc.,
I'm still not satisfied. I see him as (despite his global delays) not in his least restrictive environment. I agree we see some pretty bad stuff in typical kids...and we do choose our battles. I hate the saying have cake eat it too...I want him to at least "try" the cake. How can I know how he will behave if not given a chance to try it?

So now I'm down off my soapbox, thanks for reading...you guys are great. I will talk with his teacher tomorrow, (parent teacher conference-Jelani gets report card!) and mention the screaming and ask her how they respond to him in class, so I can respond the same way at home.

btw...(sorry another point I need to make) in pre-k for 2 years
he was in SDC (special day class)...but Kindy and 1st he's been in what they term as MTH for 2 years (mentally trainable handicapped). And he's making great strides, but his language and social aspects are lacking, which is the case for our kids I know... but I can't stop thinking he needs challanged a bit more.

I can talk about this till all of us are blue in the face and then you'll call me the Christmas scrooge for sure! Thanks for letting me think out loud...I really made an art of it.

[mg12061]

I hear what your saying.Kathleen is in 5th grade and has been mainstreamed since Kindy.One of the greatest things to me about the mainstream is her friends.They challenge her and motivate her.Even the kids who tend to "act up", her teachers have always said that when they're with kathleen they're totally different,kind and gentle and genuinely careing.The teachers have loved seeing the otehr side of these children and this is why it's not jsut a benefit to kathleen but to the class.Being with ehr peers has definatly helped with ehr speech,her frineds have learned how to listen and give her time to tlak.I've fought to keep Kathleen mainstreamed because I'm very pasionate about the fact that it's right FOR HER.I know it's not what every child needs.Kathleen also benefits from the fact that the children around ehr are all doing the same thing,when she spent some time in the self contained room there were a lot of different things going on,and a lot of adults talking and walking around the room.It was actually very distracting to her.Kathleen is moving to the Middle School next year and I'm so glad that she's made so many friends that will be with her when she gets there with the "big kids"(8th graders).Just my 2 cents....
Mary G

[jelanismom]

That was so nice of you to share, and it was more than 2 cents...try 200 bucks! That is ideally what I want for Jelani. I need to start lining up the ducks in a row. I'll post back with how that goes. Thanks Mary!

[liasmom]

I think your school needs to get rid of those abbreviations- yuck. Mentally trainable handicapped? Sounds like a bad label to me. well the behavior person talked to me. doesn't sound very good- her plan. yikes. Gotta run, chores supper and tree tonight. nancy

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

I don't like that "label" either. MTH...... ugggg WTH is that? Is that really what they call it?

[CC]

Hmmm that is an odd label I have to agree

Dawn I have told you many times and sorry for the repeat but if you are unhappy with the program you need to look around and see what else is offered and compare. Also very important to observe and see what the population of children are in the classes you find. If you really love the program except for some of the behaviors how about having a behavior expert come in to the class and advising the teacher how to nip this behavior pronto? Just a thought.

Hope you don't mind me asking but why are you not doing inclusion?

Just for your info my guy was in inclusion and YIKES is when he learned to push kick hit, never before did he do that. Took a whole summer off from the program to get him to stop.

Personally and this is just my thoughts I think our kids seem to pick up what we don't want them to 1 2 3. Funny how that happens

Best of Luck with what ever you do.

CC ~