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Post by ladybugtwo on Jan 4, 2009 13:25:20 GMT -5
My son turned five this past October. We've dabbled in potty training over the years, but we've had very little success. Well, this Christmas break we decided to try again while we were going to be at home and it has been going amazingly well. He's been wearing underwear during the day and for the first week or so was very cooperative with going to the potty. I'd ask him, he'd walk to the potty on his own, do everything on his own and was very proud. It was great!
Well this past week he started refusing to go and I'd have to do a crazy song and dance, bribery, type scenario to get him to go to the potty. I was exhausted by the second day of this but have kept it up all week, but I question if this is the way to go because I know he can can do it on his own and I know think he just doesn't want to be bothered by it all.
And the other thing that concerns me...he can hold it forever. I know I should be proud of this, but he went to the potty this morning around 8 am and here it is 1:15 and he still hasn't gone. He's had an average amount of things to drink, too. Can he stretch his bladder?
Anyway, just a few minutes ago I got him to walk into the bathroom with much cajoling, but he refused to get on the potty. I let it go and I have decided that he may just have to pee on himself to get the idea. I hate that, but I don't know what else to do. I guess I am just hoping that a few accidents will help him see that going on the potty is much better than going in his pants. He's hasn't had an accident in almost a week and before that he only had a few, but I believe the only reason for that is because I have been standing on my head persuading him to get on the potty, but I am just not sure that's the way to go about this.
Rewards don't work for him either. I have tried MM's and Hershey's Kisses to no avail.
Oh, and he's verbal--I am not 100% sure he recognizes the sensation of needing to go to the bathroom just yet, but he has the skills to tell me he needs to go or maybe I should say he has the vocabulary to do so. I don't know, maybe he does recognize it and that why he holds it.
Any suggestions? And please let me know your thoughts on how he holds it for so long, too. Has anyone else's child been able to do this?
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Post by lorraine on Jan 4, 2009 14:50:42 GMT -5
Were not at this stage yet but one thing I remember doing with my older 2 was to give them loads and loads to drink, I mean anything they liked and made it appealing with funny cups and straws etc.
Also ice lollies as well. Just to get as much liquid in as possible, its got to come out again sometime LOL and the more often he has to go the better I suppose
I wouldn't think he would be able to hold it long enough to harm himself and it sounds as though he is doing really well with not having accidents
I wonder if you have tried using a kitchen timer that you could set to go off every half hour or so, then he could go when it went off ? you could use it as a prompt so that you weren't telling him to go but he would know it was time. KWIM
Good luck
Lorraine
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Post by danikins on Jan 4, 2009 15:35:36 GMT -5
I have to admit, I have been working with Dani for 3 years now and she is not potty trained. She has no desire and could care less if she has wet pants. I can tell the dirty ones are bothering her. She has been dry every night for almost 3 years too--so will hold he bladder. My ex gave me a web site to look at. I can't remember it, but will check it out. He is really frustrated with this issue. However, she is learning and bright in other areas so know this will eventually happen.
Wishing you the best.
Kim
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Post by Chris on Jan 4, 2009 19:10:35 GMT -5
Sarah is seven and still not potty trained. She does well if we put her on a potty schedule but will not initiate going on her own.  She refuses to poop on the potty. I don't like using food as a reward so now she earns pennies every time she uses the potty. She loves money even though she doesn't understand it's purpose. I give her seven pennies and let her count them as she puts them in her piggy bank. She loves it! Chris |
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Post by CC on Jan 4, 2009 19:33:45 GMT -5
"And please let me know your thoughts on how he holds it for so long, too. Has anyone else's child been able to do this?" Christopher always had held it so long I never could understand how he did that  He is 16 and still holds it forever and he is always drinking liquids  Chris was late 6 really just turned 7 when he was fully trained, I started to think he would never get it but he did and I can honestly say once he was trained NOT 1 accident ever ;D For my guy rewards were no big deal and OMG he hated if anyone made a big fuss about him going. We just kept taking him every 1/2 hour then every hour then longer... It will all come together I am sure. Best of Luck with the training. CC ~ |
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Post by Valerie on Jan 4, 2009 23:19:04 GMT -5
Nicholas will be 6 in April, he was wearing underwear during the day for maybe 9 mos before that, and during the night starting on his 5th birthday, basically because I was just tired of buying the darn things! And actually he has no problem during the night.
I will tell you that during the day he does not initiate it, i just have to tell him every couple hours, come on, let's go potty. They do the same at school. Sometimes we get in there and he will just stand there and I have to get kinda the mean mommy voice, "Just pee!" And he will.
Tonight, for the first time, he came up to me and told me he needed to go! ;D ;D
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Post by damarasmom on Jan 5, 2009 10:20:08 GMT -5
This is a sore spot in our house. We have been working with Damara for 1 full year now. I have had it! She does not care if she is wet or a mess...The school finally made us take her out of panties and put back on the pull-ups. She doesn't care!!!
We have tried food rewards (did not work) tried stickers...not a big deal to her, tried verbal song and dance...I am so done with this , I just don't want her going into kinder not potty trained, but...it looks like it just might happen!
Good Luck and I sure hope he comes on board with you all....
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Post by ashleysmom on Jan 5, 2009 15:54:54 GMT -5
Ah Damarasmom:
Don't give up I am in the same shoes as all these other Moms. My Ashley is 6 years old now and I think we just made a small, very small dent in the toilet training. About 3 weeks ago she suffered from a severe bout of constipation (something she rarely got). I thought she had been going at school and school thought she had gone at home. I think 2 weeks she didn't go. Well long story short I had to give an enema along with Mirlax daily for a week. Since this she has only had her bm's on the toilet.(yeah!) She tells me I pooped NO Dr. now. She hated having the Dr. check her Butt and me pocking at it, so if she doesn't go I threaten her with needing to see a Dr. Talk about control, she can go from the second I use the threat. Peeing is another story. My goal is to hopefully have her completely trained by 7 years old or a year from this point.
I do see light at the end of the tunnel. Believe me I NEVER thought it was ever going to happen.
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Post by Kristin on Jan 5, 2009 22:46:26 GMT -5
Clarice was probably 8 before she was "trained". She still has accidents, but they are mostly wet, and at home on weekends when her schedule changes. I don't think she's had any accidents at school this year. What finally helped, was MM's advice that when she had an accident, she changed herself, and she was not allowed to continue with the activity she was doing. For example, if she soiled herself, I walked to the bathroom and made her clean herself up. We went through many wipes, but she got the idea. Afterwards, she was not allowed to return to her activity...TV, playing outside, etc. This was not always convenient for us, but seemed to get the point across. We would tell her that if she could not stop to use the restroom, she would have to stop her activity. At first she seemed to not care about the change, but after awhile it got her attention. At the same time, the school and I agreed to place her in underwear no matter what. I sent up to three changes of clothes a day for awhile. Whatever you do, don't quit too soon. I think this was my problem...I had to learn to out stubborn her! Good luck everyone!
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Post by Jessie on Jan 6, 2009 9:06:12 GMT -5
Jason was the same way. Actually, he can still hold it for a very long time. The BIGGEST mistake that was made while he was potty training was constantly telling him to go in and pee. It got to the point where he didn't initiate it because he was waiting for us to tell him. Kinda sad actually. Once we stopped, magically he started going when he needed to - I know, crazy, huh?! LOL
You had said in your post:
he'd walk to the potty on his own, do everything on his own and was very proud. I think if he has done this then he does have the sensation to go and the issue is more of a behavioral one vs a physical one.
Your son will not hold it long enough to get sick - only to maybe have an accident. If he has an accident, make him stop what he's doing and help clean it up, including carrying the messy clothes to the washing machine (MB's advice - and I think it's great!). May take a few times of this, but he'll get it eventually that going pee in the potty is much easier than having to stop playing and cleaning it up!
Good luck!
Jessie
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She refuses to poop on the potty. I don't like using food as a reward so now she earns pennies every time she uses the potty. She loves money even though she doesn't understand it's purpose. I give her seven pennies and let her count them as she puts them in her piggy bank. She loves it!
He is 16 and still holds it forever and he is always drinking liquids 
