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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 16:25:37 GMT -5
Jackie,
Thanks for the great update. This is so encouraging and gives me great hope for Casey's opportunities in the future. I hope I have the courage you have, to go through the "trial and error" of finding the right jobs and living arrrangement for Casey when the time comes.
I know what you mean, about wondering if he will live with us indefinitely. That's the safest, most comfortable arrangement I can imagine. Sometimes I think "Well, what's wrong with that?" But, I know the easiest way, isn't necessarily the best way... and Casey might have a few strong opinions on the subject when he gets older.
At his last few IEPs, the "people" are beginning to ask me what kind of job I'd like him to have after High School? What living arrangement to I expect? I just say "Uh .. he's 14 years old! Do I have to figure this out now?" I get the feeling they really want me to say "I'd love for him to have a job at McDonalds."
Anyway, what I really expect, is to try many different jobs and see what suits him. Pretty much what every young adult does.
I love to hear about Emily. I admire your dedication to her very active life ... with all the traveling and school, and work. Man, that must have been hard to see her move so far away!
Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Apr 27, 2002 1:22:38 GMT -5
Oh man! I just posted a huge long rant about the word retard ... when I clicked "post" ... it said my message was too long and to go back and shorten it. When I clicked back... IT WAS GONE!!
Lucky (or un- lucky for you) I remembered to highlight and copy it before I clicked save.
This is obviously a very hot topic and I'm glad so many replied , I cringed a little bit when I first read the subject line and thought it might be a mean post.
When I read a little further, I remembered how much it really used to bother me to hear people refer to things as "so retarded." (Especially teenage girls. Have you noticed that?) The first few years after Casey was born it seemed like I heard people use that figure of speech ALL THE TIME. I wished they would think about who they were talking to and how the term might sting.
12 years later, I have a much softer , more forgiving view than I did back then.
My feelings were very raw the first few years. I got upset often at thoughtless things people said . I'm sure they really didn't mean to be unkind or hurtful. And that term "retard" really made me cringe. every time I heard it. And suddenly, I seemed to hear it ALOT!
One time, a co-worker referred to a stop light as "retarded" because they thought it was malfunctioning and making them wait too long when there was no-one waiting in the other direction. She kept using the word over and over again. I couldn't believe she would catch herself and realize what she was saying and apologize. But the story just seemed to go on forever with that word, that word that word! I felt like crying.
I can't remember how old Casey was when I heard a call to Dr Laura Schlesinger's radio program that infuriated me. He might have been 2 years old, when a grown woman with a brother with Ds called in and asked if she should tell her good friend how much it hurt her feelings when the friend referred to irritating things as "retarded." over and over again.
It upset me when Dr Laura told the woman to let it go and say nothing. That the friend was just using a figure of speech .. "Get over it. " This really bugged me. I called, faxed and snail-mailed Dr Laura saying she was wrong. If it's a just figure of speech, it shouldn't be! People should stop using it to refer to irritating or exasperating things. They need to realize how it feels like to be on the receiving end of that "harmless reference." It's not harmless if it's hurting peoples feelings.
She never responded in anyway. I usually like her point of view, but she disappointed me that time. I thought it was a chance for her to remind people to think twice about using that term so loosely. It was an oportunity to educate people and she dropped the ball. Anyway, since then my views on this have softened.
People say odd things sometimes that are not meant to be mean or hurtful. Sometimes people put their foot in their mouth and either don't realize it ... or they realize after the fact and don't know how or what to say to take it back.
The use of the word is just plain thoughtless. It's a bad habit that they need to learn to break.
Sometimes now when someone uses it, I actually make a tiny cringing gesture with my face or say "ouch." and let it go. Usually it gets the message across without any confrontation or embarrassment. I hope that the next time they find themselves saying it, they'll remember that it might be offending someone.
I read a Dear Abby column where a lady whose mother was suffering from Alzheimer's wrote to say how much it hurt her when people in her office joked about "must be getting Alzheimers" every time they forgot something, or couldn't find their keys. She said it wounded her to hear people laugh about it, when her family was devasted by the loss of their mother. That was a lesson for me, because I used to make that same comment all the time! It never occured to me that someone in the room might be going through it for real, and that harmless comment could really be so mean. I never joke about it anymore.
This exactly the same thing!
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Post by Michelle Mc on Jan 2, 2008 17:57:07 GMT -5
Hi Bob, I'm still trying to figure what's going on with that part of the site. Fortunately, I have it hosted completely separate from the rest of the site, so I'm relieved that the entire site isn't affected.
I've learned to host the main part of the site with one webhost, the photo gallery with another webhost, and the Bulletin Board in an entirely separate place. I'm actually thrilled because it's situations like these, when that disjointed setup really pays off. The photo album is down, but at least the whole site isn't wiped out!
The good news is that the database, holding all the albums and photos is still intact. The only thing that seems to be wiped out is the program that displays them. I've been trying to find a way to repair the program, but VizaWeb (the host) is no help whatsoever. So, I am backing up the database and I'm going to do a fresh install of the Photo Gallery program. Then, hypothetically, I can just upload the database and everything should look like it used to!
I'm not really all that crazy about that photo album program. But, shopping for a new setup is way down on my to-do list. Plus then, everyone's personal albums will gone and I don't want to do that!
Will post again when I get it working. MichelleMc
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Post by Michelle Mc on May 11, 2006 1:43:58 GMT -5
Hi Susan. Thanks! I don't know what in the world I was thinking today. I was panicking because it was the 10th of the month and I hadn't updated the banner. Somehow, I started thinking it was JUNE already and I knew that Tricia was the sponsor ... and I didn't know who this "Patricia person" was listed on the sponsor page. Eventually, I figured out that PaTRICIA was Trica ... but I couldn't find her email about the banner... THEN finally about 6pm tonight, it occurred to me ... This is MAY! I skipped over Susan!
Wow. This is really embarrassing! I'm losing my mind. Well, thank you so much for sponsoring the site this month ... and Happy Birthday, Haley!
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Post by Michelle Mc on May 10, 2006 11:28:26 GMT -5
Trisha, Something is really screwy with the sponsor list .. I was trying to find what to put on this month's banner and I see a 2005 name as the sponsor ... but not the same name that is listed for last year.. ?! I sure messed up somewhere. I know you are the sponsor for June ... do you have a request for wording on the banner? I apologize for the confusion. Will also email you, in case you are not on the BB soon. MichelleMc
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Post by Michelle Mc on Jan 13, 2005 23:26:16 GMT -5
First of all I have an urgent message to two people who sent donations to sponsor this site for the month of March:
Jessie Hawk and the Grizzard family. You both signed up to sponsor March within hours of eachother ... Jessica's donation came in first, and I tried to send a confirmation email and it was bounced back to me. Before I could figure out why I couldn't reply ... the Grizzard family sent a donation to sponsor the month of March! Once again, when I tried to respond ... the message was bounce by AOL. .
In the last few months I have had this problem a lot with AOL members trying to sign up for the Bulletin Board & the Photo Album. When I try to respond, or my programs try to send a password ... AOL is identifying it as spam and bouncing it. .
Anyway yesterday, in desperation, I posted a message on the "sponsor page" trying to tell you both that I am having trouble contacting you both. (Please just click on the banner and it will send you to the sponsor page and you will see it). .
I also set up a new email account that I thought would satisfy AOL that I was not a spammer. It still won't go through! .
I want you both to know that your generosity is very much appreciated. Of course, I need to find out why this glitch is happening and fix it as quick as I can. . Since you both have kids with birthdays in March, would it be acceptable if I rotate both sponsor banners in March, and then rotate them again in June (the next unsponsored month)? .
Thank you! Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Jan 13, 2005 22:44:32 GMT -5
Hi there Jessie,
I'm so glad I found your message here. I was just about to post on the message board and BB trying to reach you and the Grizzard family. You both signed up to sponsor March within hours of eachother ... Your donation came in first, and I tried to send you a confirmation email and it was bounced back to me.
Before I could figure out why I couldn't reply ... the Grizzard family sent a donation to sponsor the month of March! Once again, when I tried to respond ... the message was bounce by AOL.
In the last few months I have had this problem a lot with AOL people trying to sign up for the BB & the Photo Album. When I try to respond, or my programs try to send a password ... AOL is identifying it as spam and bouncing it.
Anyway yesterday, in desperation, I posted a message on the "sponsor page" trying to tell you both that I am having trouble contacting you. (Please just click on the banner and it will send you to the sponsor page and you will see it).
I also set up a new email account that I thought would satisfy AOL that I was not a spammer. It still won't go through!
Here is that message: Hi Jessica, Thank you for sponsoring the Uno Mas website for the month of March 2005. It means a lot to me know that you find the site worthy of your support. I'm sorry you haven't heard from me sooner. My email to you kept getting bounced because AOL was recognizing my email as spam! I took me awhile to figure out how to fix the problem. (I hope this works!) Another visitor asked to sponsor March just a few hours after your donation. Is the particular month that you sponsor important to you? If so, I'll list you as the March sponsor. If not, then the next open month. Your contribution is such a big help in keeping the website online. Your generosity is very much appreciated. Thank you! Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 17:01:48 GMT -5
Sorry for the slow reply (please see my Unanswered Questions post).
This is a good idea. I will look at the settings/options and see if I can reorder the way the pages appear.
Will let you know if it can be done.
Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 17:16:12 GMT -5
Have you had success with the photo album yet? I think I handled this by email. If not, here is the most common problems to registering on the photo album and Bulletin Board:
1. The BB and Photo Album are completely different programs. So you need to register separately for each one.
2. You MUST use a valid email address when you register. It's the only way to get your original password to activate your account. The confirmation comes by email. So if you can't access your email, you won't be able to get the login information.
Another issue on the confirmation email: Many people have spam blockers that won't accept email from an "unknown" source. Your email program or spam blocker may be bouncing or deleting the confirmation email. So check your deleted items in your email program.
3. Many people have cookie blockers, firewalls, pop-up blockers, Ad blocking software that interfere with the login section. Try disabling these temporarily and see if that solves the problem.
4. Sometimes, even I have problems logging into the photo album. It tells me "no such user" or "wrong password" when I know it's correct! I can't figure out what the glitch is. But if I close my browser window. Open a new window, maybe even clear my internet cache, and make a fresh visit to the photo album ... suddenly, I can get in!
That's all I can think of for now ... I'll add more solutions as I come across them.
Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Jun 27, 2004 17:55:22 GMT -5
Hi Maria,
Be sure you have clicked on the folder "June 2004" so that you are in the month or section you want to upload pictures to.
Once you are in "June" you should see an "upload" button at the upper right hand corner. Click on that and the rest should be self-explanatory. Post here again if you are still having trouble, and I'll try to reply more quickly.
Susan, do you think I should make separate folders for recent get togethers, in the photo gallery? Or just have people add them to the monthly sections?
Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 17:35:12 GMT -5
Jennanne,
I know this message has been here unanswered for a really long time. I'm sorry about that. I thought that as administrator, I would be getting email alerts to new questions, and that is not the case.
But! Your question is a good one and it prompted me to finally get up the guts to "clean up" the old posts. I've been reluctant to do so, because some threads started two years ago, but they stay lively because it a topic that is relevant to all of us. I was afraid if I used the option to delete messages over 6 months old ... it would delete a lot of useful information. But I think now that it only removes dormant "dead" topics.
The reason I archive years and years of the message board, is because there is so much great advice in all those years of parents/teachers/siblings posts! I wish the search feature worked better.
I'm sorry you felt like you got your hand slapped. My thought on the subject is that I wish I never had to delete anything. Even if the question was asked two years ago ... and you have some helpful thoughts on the topic now ... someone down the road is going to search on that very same question .... and your reply will be there for them to read.
This is the first time I've deleted anything from this board in over 2 years ... I'm worried I'm going to get tons of emails asking "What happened to information about xyzyz? I really need those links, or that book review, or that product name!"
Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 17:42:01 GMT -5
I agree. Also you could refer people to check out your little one on the photo album.
Alternately, you could make that little Avatar a tiny little pic of your child. I don't think there's any worry about that, because it is so small ... the wierdos can't reuse it.
That's why the photo album only shows tiny thumbnails to unregistered members. But on this Bulletin Board, if you post a full size picture ... unregistered guests can view it and possibly "lift" it off the site and re-use the photo in ways you didn't authorize, and probably won't like.
On the Bulletin Board, anyone can read posts and see all graphics. They are only limited in that they can't post ... unless they register.
Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 18:00:26 GMT -5
Oh man ... I can't believe I missed this question. It's been so long since I've thought about the little icons that it took me awhile (not 10 months) to find the page I made to explain all this. You can find all the answers to this question here: www.unomas21.com/pix.htm I think I stopped referring to this page, because I was worried I'd hurt someones feelings if I overlooked adding them as a gem or an old-timer. As for Jackie's lost peppers ... I had no idea! After some investigation ... I discovered that when I went in and gave you the designation of "Uno Mas Sponosor" somehow it stops displaying the graphic for your posts ranking. So I changed your setting to blank (just a regular member) and all your peppers reappeared! I'm going to have to fix that! Michelle
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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 18:05:57 GMT -5
Please visit this page: www.unomas21.com/pix.htmfor information about what those little icons mean, and how to add them to your profile.
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Post by Michelle Mc on Nov 7, 2004 18:17:44 GMT -5
I want to assure you guys that no part of the site is trying to do anything sinister to your computer. The reason it is sometimes necessary to turn off pop-up blockers or privacy programs on the message board, funny stories, your story, bb, or photo album is that I have security measures in place to keep creeps from spamming our boards. It will only allow people to go to the post page, if they came from an unomas page.
If your security software is hiding the page you came from, then the Uno Mas system cannot confirm that you you actually came from our message board page. That's why it's not allowing you to post.
Have you ever been to a bulletin board that's loaded with ads, links to objectionable sites, get rich quick schemes? That's because the spammers have automatic programs that mass-post to boards indiscriminately. The systems I have in place are to protect our site from that. It is a huge job to stay on top of deleting all that crap ... so we have to resort to these security measures.
Michelle
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