NOT liking Ethan's new habit

[laurasnowbird]

And this one seems to be a hard one to break. He is constantly fiddling with his hair, twisting it all the time until it literally frays and breaks off. He is literally ruining patches of his hair. Anyone have a successful method for dealing with this? Help!

[Jackie]

I don't but I know others have discussed this before on the site. Good luck.

[logansmom]

Logan's just started doing this, too. He isn't breaking it yet, but he's definitely twisting and fiddling with it. Hoping someone has some suggestions. I tried giving him a little rope bracelet to "fiddle" with, but he gave it back to me saying, "No, thank you."

Kim

[Emilysmom]

This isn't a great suggestion, but the first thing that popped into my head was a nice summer buzz cut..........but I've never been fond of buzz cuts, and Ethan has pretty hair!

And Kim..........at least Logan is polite!!

[Chris too]

Ethan doesn't have any sensory issues, does he? If he did, I'd say, put something in his hair that he hates to touch

My dad worked on his coin tricks when he was quitting smoking - moving the coin back and forth between his fingers with just the fingers and thumb of that one hand. You could try showing him videos of different hand/finger tricks to see if any of them interest him enough that he wants to learn how to do them. That would keep his hands busy.

You could try remote controls or something like that with lots of things to feel. Or get Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing for Kids and teach him to type. Piano? Finger handcuffs?

Is he stressing out about something? Or just generally nervous? Do you have calming techniques that have worked in the past?

That's it. That's all I have for now. Brain storm is past.

Best wishes.

[laurasnowbird]

Susan, I thought about a buzz cut too, and haven't discarded the idea yet.....but I love his hair!

Chris, he does have sensory issues, but I can't think of anything we could put in his hair that would bother him. He has always had some sort of stim, and we'll extinguish one only to have another take it's place. He has chin-tapped, picked at his shoes, twirled his hair, etc. etc. etc. The list goes on and on. He does have a need for some sort of self-calming motion, and anxiety issues do run in my family. My dad and my dad's brother were horribly anxious people, and my sister struggles too. We've given some thought to seeking mental health help to see if it's something like that. The Chinese finger trap though, that's a brilliant thought! I'll give that a go.....

Still love to hear any other ideas that you guys have used to deal with self-stims....

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Hmmm, I too thought of buzz cut but it seems he would just stimm on something else. I know little of stimming/sensory issues, sorry. I hope someone has some great words of advise. What about maybe asking a counsler if they have any ideas or even maybe the disability center near you. {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

[laurasnowbird]

I have a good friend who is a psychiatrist, and she recommended a couple of people at University of Michigan, so I'm going to see when I can get him in.

I tried the Chinese finger trap, and he was out of it in less than a minute! It was a good idea though!

[Jackie]

For what its worth...my hubby Ed who is about to turn 65 (gulp) has twirlled his hair on one side all his life. So when he wasn't looking today I checked out that side and I think it IS a little thinner there...LOL He has lots of dark curly hair so it was hard to tell. It has always driven me nuts that he does this,,, but I guess at least he knows when to stop. For him it is usually when he is tense or doing things like medical records on his lap top.

[Chris too]

You so crack me up Laura You actually tried the finger trap
I am a nervous sort, too. What helped me, and what I've taught my nervous kids (not all of them are nervous) is deep relaxation. I had to teach Katie at 3 and I had to trick her into doing it when she was really stressed out. It's all visualization-based and very effective, once learned, for quickly calming the nerves where stimming tends to just aggravate them further (at least for me, it does).

Here's how it works for kids:
To train:
Put the child in a comfortable chair or whatever favorite sitting or lying position he likes
You can have either quiet or music - whichever is least likely to distract the child (no distractions is key)
Ask about his favorite place, calling it to mind. Ask him to add details: colors, relative locations of the various "furnishings," any characters who might visit the location, smells, sounds - the more details the better since this will add more realism to the image in his mind. Draw him into that place with your questions and comments "Oh look! Is that a salamander?"
Do this as just a fun game, and do it every day if you can until he gets very good at it and you are very familiar with the finer points of his "world". Try to gently remind him to be still during the game so that he isn't hair twisting or otherwise stimming.
To use it:
When he's twisting his hair or seems nervous, ask one of your questions out of the blue: "I forget; what color are those berries on that bush next to the creek?" Get him talking casually about his "world" The conversation should haul him mentally into that familiar "world" where peace and calm reign - together with love and laughter if at all possible.

For adults, it can work much the same way, but my "world" is just my own body - I travel the length of my body to see where the stress lies to release that by visualization. It's great for getting rid of migraines and muscle aches and phantom itches and the like, and I can draw in peace with my breath to calm my nerves at any moment. A very handy trick for a nervous Nelly like me.

[kg91207]

when my hair was longer, I was a twirler. Now I fiddle with other things. I've noticed Kaelyn plays with her hair or rubs her eyelashes, especially when she is tired or upset. I think you've gotten some good suggestions here, so I don't have much more to offer!!! Distraction/redirection would be my best suggestion.

[Michelle Mc]

Hi Laura,
Have you heard of Trichotillamania? My non DS son had a short episode of it in middle school, where he woud mindlessly pull out his own hair when he was studying. He mentioned something about the habit to me, and I joked that "only I do that." (because I do the same thing, sort of, mildly). A few days later, I freaked when I noticed a completely bald patch on his head! It turned out that we had discontinued his ADD medication, thinking that he had "grown out of it" when apparently he hadn't. He started back on a low dose of Adderral XR and the problem went away. Which is wierd, because you would think that it would make someone more likely to pick or pull at stuff. But it helps him focus, so he doesn't need to fidget so much with his hands I guess.

Casey had small breakout on his chin in high school, and he got into the habit of always rubbing his chin, which made it a chronic rash. Even though the doctor was able to give us an amazing gel that cleared it up, I can't get him to stop the habit of rubbing his chin, so the rash continues! It's gone on for years now and it drives me crazy. He actually gets angry at me when I try to apply the medication that will make it better.

Another thought I had, is maybe ask the doctor if an anti depressant could help, but now that I think of it , maybe not. Casey takes Lexapro and I can't say that it has improved the chin situation. But it has helped his behavior and attitude some.
I know these aren't holistic solutions, but even people with disabilities get depressed and (i think) can have add. I'm a big believer in the power of modern medicine.