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Post by Staci on Feb 9, 2005 12:25:25 GMT -5
I'm having trouble communicating with Aidan's teachers this year. Last year, I got notes every week about what he was doing, how he was doing in school, how he was acting with the kids...this year, it's only every quarter that I get a report, and even then it's not much...just what they're working on with the therapies. I call his teacher every week, but I don't get much out of her. I want to know what Aidan's doing in school....I want to know if he's had a good week, a bad week. I don't at all expect a report every day...just once a week or something. He's been not wanting to go to school the past couple of days and is crying, whining and clinging to me when I put him in the car (his teacher's aides pick him up) to go to school. They say he is fine once he gets there, but I wonder why he's acting like that all of a sudden. And he does do this every once in a while, not wanting to go to school all of a sudden, and then next week excited to go again. Oh, and when I talk to his teacher about this sort of stuff, like Aidan being whiny and crying, etc, talking about school and getting into the car in the morning...she is always saying "from my experience, Downs kids are like that" or "that's common in Down's kids"...etc. It's never "a kid with Down syndrome" or "Aidan" first...it's always Downs kids, grouping kids with Down syndrome all in one lump...which kind of bugs me. Am I overreacting about that?
So, I just wanted to know how often you all get reports and visit your kiddos school or talk to the teacher, etc. I don't know if what I'm asking for is too much...I don't think it is, but I do tend to go overboard with this sort of stuff sometimes (and I do tend to baby Aidan a LOT!)...LOL!
Staci
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Post by Alice on Feb 9, 2005 12:55:54 GMT -5
Staci, It seems to me that you are having not the best teacher this year. So, sorry to hear that... that Aidan is not happy to go there... Our kids deserve to have good teachers and therapists. We are lucky to have great bunch of carrying people at my son's preschool - Thanks God! Our teacher and therapists are communicating with me almost every day (ones pre week it is for sure) by e-mail or they send us notes home. I am very pleased of their job. You are not asking too much. Teachers, therapists and parents should be a team and if that team do not have communications - there is no success will be accomplished. Try to talk to the teacher first and tell her all your concerns about communications, her words (that is just terrible to call our kids "downs" - I hate that) about your son, and so on? Than go to the pre-school's director and ask her/him to move your son to other - better teacher. Hugs, Alice
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Post by Becky on Feb 9, 2005 13:44:43 GMT -5
Staci, Justins teacher and I have a comunication book,(I bought a small note book) I wirte in it how Justins night and morning was(he goes in the afternoon) and then she wirtes in it and tells me how his day was and what they did. So we hear form each other every day. I had it written in his IEP that we would use this note book. There has a been a few days she has missed writing in it but I know she can get busy but then she will call me that night, she is great, so I guess that just means you need to move here and but Aidan in Justins class. LOL Becky
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Post by momofrussell on Feb 9, 2005 14:55:21 GMT -5
Well, first, I would buy a communication book! You can use one of those composistion books or a spiral notebook. Explain to the teacher that Aidan's daily activities good and bad are important to know since Aiden in young and can't really communicate his good and bad days. IF she has a problem with this, I'd would try to explain to her again , very politely but matter of factly that you NEED this and how important it is. If she still gives you grief, go around her to get it accomplished. You should be getting daily reports if not weekly!!!! Since Aidan is crabby at times, I would explain to her that daily reports might shed some light on his crabby days. It could be something SO simple and since Aidan can't communicate WHY he is fussing, she needs to do a daily report so you aren't assuming the worst!!!! If she really thinks a book would be bothersome, then suggest making her some sheets (make TONS of copies) with a ... Aiden had a ***** day and maybe do something like a happy face, sad face, angry face, ect.... She can circle one... heck, AIDAN can learn to circle how he is doing!!!! You could also put things like... Today I ate *****, and today I played with ****** (names of other kids) and I did these activities *******. Make it simple for her and ask her to please fill one out each day and just throw it in the bag for you! If she claims she doesn't have time, she needs to politely know that she needs to make time! And I have never had to put communicating into an IEP.. but IF you need to... I'd put it in the IEP!!!!! Like Becky has done.. then they are bound by LAW to do it! We get a daily report with Russell. Always have.... no matter what school we were at. His last place did NOT use communication books though, his teacher was into some privacy things... and would not use the books, but I just got notes home every day and would send notes in if needed. This year, Russell's teacher uses a premade form, kinda like what I suggested you make for her, that has about 8-10 things they did so she can circle what she needs, and she has a blank spot on each also, and she will either put a little note on how well they did or a happy/sad face. Then, she ALWAYS writes a personal note on the bottom of the back page... tells me if he layed around, smiled, laughed, pooped, what ever.... Does this teacher tell you when he poops? LOL... I am not trying to be cute... but I HOPE she is at least telling you this... they are suppose to do that much!!!! You should be getting daily/weekly reports. The monthly or semester things are for IEP updates and progress type reports. As far as her saying "oh, it's just DS".... well, EVEN if it IS just the DS... you need to keep reiterating that Aidan does NOT speak well and can't communicate his needs and crabby feelings and you just want to be kept abreast of things. Heck, it could be something simple like his lunch, or time of lunch, or another kid stealing a toy... but DS or not... we ALL want to know why our kids are crabby, and when they can't tell us, we start assuming things and it shouldn't have to be that way. The next time the teacher brings up the "in my experience, all kids w/DS" bull s.h.i.t. , I'd politely turn it back on her and say, "Well,ok... but... do you really think an extra chomosome makes a child crabby and fussy for no reason? ". She couldn't possibly say yes to that. And if she gives you some "it's just the DS" retort after that... Then ask her if she has any kids and then if she does (heck, even if she doesn't), ask her if she'd want to know the reason why her child was fussing going to school each day. When she says "yes"... then say... "ok, but if you child had DS and was fussing every morning, would you NOT?" I have never been told that being whinny was part of DS... I would probably laugh at her if she said that to me! LOL... MAYBE, JUST MAYBE... she has a different type of personality and well, maybe, just maybe she is a bit fussy herself and it OOOZES onto the kids she teaches!!! Don't think that can't happen.. because it does!!!! So maybe her personality is causing crabby kids w/DS!!!!! Heck, Staci, it could very well be that Aidan is just having a clingy mommy stage... all kids with and without DS go through it... but that is not excuse for her not to communicate with you and to "poopoo" you and give you the "it's just the DS" line.... Heck... the next time she says... "in my experience".... say back to the gal... "Well, In MY experience"... She MAY know more about kids in general... but she does NOT know YOUR child better then you.. and talking to you like that is a bit condescending if you ask me! As far as letting the placement of the word/s of DS or DOWNS in a sentence bother you... if it REALLY bothers you alot... then politely to ask her to refer to Aidan as well... AIDAN! It personally doesn't bother me one little bit, but it bothers most. All my docs, friends, family members, ALLLLL do it... and I don't really care if they call Russell, "Russell", or a Down's Child or what... but if it did bother me, I would just say.. "hey, can we just call him Russell?" So many docs and some of the general public don't think of the semantics of DS and the placement in a sentence and what is politically correct or that it MAY bother some of us (and some have done it all their lives) so they just keep doing it. (I'd personally would have WAY to many to correct and it's just not worth it LOLOL.. besides.. my mom would say.. OH WELL! LMAO! ) Ok... sorry to ramble.. I am between vomits right now LOL.... good luck!!!!! A.
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Post by Haleysmom on Feb 9, 2005 15:03:00 GMT -5
Like Becky, we too have a communication book, mainly Haley's aid will write notes on anything that has gone on, new hoola hoops and such or ask questions, give us a heads up on upcoming events etc... But the teacher sends home a weekly report that is terrific (and I believe not to time consuming for her) It has Mon thru Friday with Blocks for journal, math, recess, lunch, homework - sorry can't remember the rest. Anyway they use either or stamps. There is a line at the bottom for teacher comments and one for parent comments. We sign and return with her on Monday's. It also has an area for parent comment. It is also good for Haley (8) because it is very easy and clear - happy=good sad=not so good!
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Post by justinsmom on Feb 9, 2005 15:22:28 GMT -5
Justins' teacher sends a note home almost everyday depending how busy the day has been but most of the time it's daily and the missed notes are explained such as we were working on a special project and everyone was on a roll and didn't want to stop. His ST and Pt usually are more spread out but I at least get 4 from each a month. I've never had to get a special notebook as his teacher has always had her own forms and is now looking into a more fun form.
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Post by Staci on Feb 9, 2005 16:29:02 GMT -5
Thank you guys so much! I put in a call to his teacher after I posted this, but she hasn't called back. I just now wrote a nice letter to her...telling her how important it is that we do a communication notebook or SOMETHING, that I DO assume the worse when I get nothing from them, I don't even get told when he has a BM...I always have to ask. I remember a comment one time from the principal when we had a meeting one time...it wasn't an IEP meeting, but just a teacher's meeting....the principal said "like we have time to write a report about every child in this school every week!". Well, ya know what? Too BAD! Even if I have to call an emergency IEP meeting to change things around so that it has to be done, I will. I don't think they'll give me any grief about it...but ya never know, we've had our rounds with them already in the last year and a half. His teacher is great, and she's great with the kids...maybe it's just that I live in a tiny pod town and they haven't been challenged enough in this department before. It really doesn't bother me when people say "Down's kids" but it's really all I ever get from his teacher, so when she's constantly saying it like that, it makes me wonder if she's just lumping all kids with DS together, kwim? Like she wouldn't look at Aidan as an individual ever, just a kid with DS. Because DS or no DS...every child/human being IS an individual, and he should be looked at that way. Just because a kid with DS who was in her class once 10 years ago did something doesn't mean Aidan is going to do the same thing, ya know? That is my only problem with that. I'm like you, A, I don't get bothered by certain terms usually...just maybe the way she acts and says things may be putting me off a bit, making me wonder what she thinks and what she sees when seeing Aidan. I hope you can understand what I'm saying....I'm HORRIBLE at explaining things! LOL I know what I'm saying in my head...but sometimes it's hard for me to put it in writing. Anyhoo...thank you ALL so much! You all are wonderful!! Hugs! And I'll let ya know what happens with this! Staci
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Post by Jessie on Feb 9, 2005 17:24:38 GMT -5
This post and all of your replies is exactly the reason I love visiting this site!!! You guys are the best and I have learned so much in such a short period of time from all of you. It seems just when we are going through something or expecting to (Jason's IEP is this month), someone posts on the same topic and I get the ammunition, uh, I mean, information that I need to help Jason the best we can. This post on communication really opened my eyes as to what we SHOULD be getting from Jason's school - but aren't!
Anyway, just wanted to say "THANKS" to all you mom and dads out there willing to share and help the rest of us out!!
Jessie
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Post by meghans_mom on Feb 9, 2005 18:12:15 GMT -5
Staci - good luck w/ this...seems like this teacher has some stuff to learn! Next time she says "downs kid" say, it's child with down syndrome...he's not his down syndrome! (I recently had this conversation w/ MM's ENT - who insists I'm the only one who complains about this)...I said would you call your patient "cancer-man" or whatever (no offense to anyone)...of course not!
and we also have a communication book that goes back and forth in the nap sack...and I see MM's teachers daily as I drop her off and pick her up. Somedays I get notes, others I don't. There are 15 kids in the class and I know she can't write all of us daily...but we do write questions/comments back and forth. All her therapists use the same book. Once a month or every few weeks we get a photocopied note of what they are currently working on, so we can follow through at home (which letter person, etc). about the BMs,you might make a sheet to fit into to the book, make a large graph w/ a date for each line and then the teacher or aide can just check it off....no reason you shouldn't know that stuff....and that'll make it easier for them.
ok, i had more to say but my MM is very cranky tonight and needs my attention. hugs, laurie
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Post by christie on Feb 9, 2005 19:03:26 GMT -5
Christopher is 12 and since preschool and thru every year of school including this year has a communication book that goes to school/ home daily. We never have had to provide the teacher with one, he has always come home with one on the first day of school. This is the first year, new Teach this year, that she didn't write often in it. So I called her and said I need you to PLEASE write down in the book every day as Christopher's speech is delayed and in order for me and his Dad to communicate to Chris bout his day I needed daily info. Have to say she was a bit put off at first, that I wanted daily and not just on Friday as she was doing. She said to me "Well, I will do it for you daily BUT not for every other child in the class" Hmmmmm First off I didn't ask her to do it with every other child in the class She said stoping to write in the communication journal daily would take away from class time, Hmmmmm WHATEVER, as long as I got her to do it was all that mattered to me ;D We also have a communication book with the ST. So my long winded advise is talk to her As for visiting the class I, work from home soooo I have always had the time and when Chris was litte I use to go in and observe lots. I was also always his class Mom for years, which got me in the class lots too ;D Actually they liked it and told me they wished more parents would come in and observe. Now that Chris is older, I personally don't go in to observe BUT I have an advocate that goes in 2 to 3 times a school year. I could go in myself but find it works better for my advocate to observe, no disruption to Chris whatsoever then. I will say going in when Chris was little was very beneficial to me. I got to see how they got Chris to do things I couldn't and for me seeing the PT, OT, ST, Teach, work with him helped me tons for carry over at home Best of Luck ~ CC
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Post by momofrussell on Feb 9, 2005 19:15:19 GMT -5
"She said stoping to write in the communication journal daily would take away from class time, Hmmmmm WHATEVER, as long as I got her to do it was all that mattered to me "
hehee... CC... That would be my attitude also.. complain all you want but just DO IT! LOL.... That is the only way I get Regan to do things sometimes also... I tell her.. FAKE it if you have to! LOLOL
A.
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Post by SID on Feb 9, 2005 20:26:08 GMT -5
Hi Staci Frist off Iam a teachers aide at Codys school. All the kids in my class have a notebook that we write in everyday even if it is just so much as Childs name had a good day .Most of the time we do have time at the end of the day to write more to tell about our day. For sure if a child has had a bad day for what ever reason we always write in the book . When what and where and how we handled it. As you said you need to know how the day went to understand how the child feels when they get home. Did they have a bad day and why. Did we do alot in class he or she may be tired and so on. I have the other problem alot of moms and dads do not send the books back so we can write in them.I still write a note and send it home. I wish for some of the kids in my class that they had moms and dads that would care like the moms and dads on here. Somedays it is sooooo hard for me. Aidan is lucky that you love and care for him as you do . I would keep on her everyday if I had to just to get her in the swing of things to see to it she sends you home something everyday.!! Like it or not!!. Preschool is hard on these little ones no matter special needs or not. We have both in my class it is just darn right hard. I feel we need to do the best we can and all we can to help them along. I wish you the best of luck I would not back down from her and I would get what I want .It really is her JOB !! Hugs Sid
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Post by Debi on Feb 9, 2005 22:06:28 GMT -5
Staci, I've gotten a lot of sideways glances and under the breath mutters on this one from teachers over the years but I have also gotten the daily communication. Gabe truly cannot tell me about his day so if he comes home and slams the bookbag through the door I know something is up but wouldn't know what~~and I need to know. I'm a para at a different school and I full well know it gets hectic but EVERYBODY has a chance to write a short note at the end of the day or fill out a chart. I always got nice full daily reports in preschool and appreciated them more than I can say and do think you should get at least a short report with Aidan at this age. BUT...... to share a little funny with you guys.... now they just jot the daily activities etc.. and the report was stuff like : working on computer recycling trouble "Trouble? They were talking about the GAME trouble, not my kid !! WHEW !! ;D
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Post by Staci on Feb 10, 2005 0:16:20 GMT -5
I don't get to visit Aidan at school as much as I'd like. I did a LOT last year, that's probably why they don't like me there anymore! haha I usually always have Parker and I know she's a big distraction with the other kids, and we don't have a cool "look through" window like Becky has with Justin's school! hehe Since the teacher never returned my call today, I stuck the letter I wrote into Aidan's backpack. I figure if she can't call me back, she can read my letter and then we'll have a little pow-wow later. I'll see her tomorrow when Parker and I go for Aidan's Valentine's party...we'll see what happens! I really think they don't like me there, I am always causing trouble! LOL
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Post by Staci on Feb 10, 2005 0:17:13 GMT -5
Debi, that is really funny about "Trouble". I'm glad Gabe wasn't really in trouble! LOL
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