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Post by laurasmom on Jan 30, 2007 16:28:02 GMT -5
I have read this man's blog before, always has something interesting, thought provoking to say. Thought I would share. Enjoy! www.davehingsburger.blogspot.comSharon
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Post by trishasmom on Jan 30, 2007 18:14:34 GMT -5
I periodically read his blog, he does give you something to think about each time he writes. :-)
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Post by CC on Jan 30, 2007 22:12:28 GMT -5
Interesting THANKS for sharing this. K, don't bash me here PLEASE just not in the mood tonight BUT ... "So forgive me, I'm not wishing Down Syndrome on some poor family, I'm wishing purpose and meaning and joy on some lucky family - because of Down Syndrome" from the blog and you know I honestly get what he says I do But I can't help but wonder why is it always one saying what the person with DS gives to others KWIM What bout the one with DS, life just seems harder then it has to be on them due to the DS. Does anyone get what I mean?? I really think one can get/find "I'm wishing purpose and meaning and joy" those things too without another having DS. I in NOOOO way mean to take away from one that says has DS but sometimes I get the feeling people think its a GREAT thing and honestly I just don't understand how one could feel that way. I do agree make the best of what life deals you but I truly would rather learn life's goodness without Chris having to deal with DS. I hope no one takes offense just how I feel. CC
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Post by trishasmom on Jan 30, 2007 22:49:13 GMT -5
CC I understand what you are saying. :-) I sure wish I could get into her head and see what she is thinking especially about all that we put her through in the name of helping her. :-) Sometimes she smiles or laughs for what we might deem as no reason but I honestly believe she has a very good reason and just because I don't always know that reason doesn't mean it isn't there. There is happiness that she has that I may and most likelywill never understand and that's in spite of all that is put on her by well meaning people as well as a well meaning mom. There is a profoundness about her at times that just boggles my mind. She may be low functioning by society's standards but she has a lot going on it that head of hers and she thinks and wants and cares, she knows that but she just can't make us understand that yet. We just don't know her language. :-)
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Post by Emilysmom on Jan 31, 2007 7:36:20 GMT -5
Sure Christie, I understand where you are coming from........but this blog seemed to be coming from someone who USED TO think having a child with Down syndrome would be the worst possible thing. He's simply explaining that he feels more FREE, now that he realizes that there is so much value in the life of a person with Ds. At least that's what I read from it. I loved what he said about being surprised there wasn't a secret handshake between those of us who have kids with Ds. We have to admit that we DO form a special bond!! At the special athletic group events that Emily has participated in for many years, the parents of the kids with Ds seem to have a special connection.....although, of course we care about and cheer for ALL the athletes.
I agree that most times it seems to be that the loved ones of the person with Down syndrome are the ones who feel BLESSED to be around the person with Ds. I think we have all learned a great deal about unconditional love (we've felt it in a powerful way from our kids). I don't want to even try to compare Emily's life with Down syndrome to the way her life would be if she didn't have it...........just no sense in that at all, if you ask me. But, I do think that SHE is happy. I think SHE receives more outward displays of affection by our family and friends and she seems to love that! She is, most of the time, very content with simple pleasures. So many things that we do as a family, and her brothers seem to maybe take it for granted a bit.......such as a trip to the movie theater.....she is the one who seems to feel like "this is one GREAT day for me"!!! You know what I'm saying?? SHE is the one who seems to GET the most joy from the small things we do. She has never told me that she wishes she did NOT have Ds. I'm guessing she would, if she could express it, tell me she would rather NOT have it. (although I know of young adults with Ds who say they LIKE it) But.....she does have it. And she seems VERY happy with her life, to me. I think I have just said exactly what you said........Emily is just making the best out of her life. It's not the same life as her friends, but I think she feels that it's a good life. I sure hope so anyway!!
And Carol, I agree..........I'd give anything to KNOW how my girl feels! She certainly has her fair share of well-meaning people trying to "help" her, and I'm not sure how she feels about that!!
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Post by CC on Jan 31, 2007 21:25:21 GMT -5
"I sure wish I could get into her head and see what she is thinking especially about all that we put her through in the name of helping her" OMG I am with you on that girl, I wish so much too the same thing about my boy "now that he realizes that there is so much value in the life of a person with Ds." OMG YES I AGREE one with DS has as much value as the next person, I really do think that, I really do ;D I just always come back to the reality, its harder for one with DS no matter what and yet so many say why DS is good for them BUT they are not the one with the disability, KWIM Chris is just as important to me as my daughter is and his worth is equal to her and I could be wrong but will never know but if there was some way he could try being non disabled and disabled I would bet he would pick NOT. For me I am OK either way I really am but see to me its not me with the disability. Gosh I hope this makes sense to someone I am NOT at all taking away from the person that has to deal with the disability, actually I admire them for how they take on the challenge. I don't know maybe this makes me a very shallow person BUT if I had a choice for my self I will honestly tell you I would rather not have a disability if by some chance I had a choice. Who the heck knows, maybe in my "next Life" I will and will look at this all different THANKS for not attacking me for sharing my thoughts CC who just thinks way to much
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Post by trishasmom on Feb 1, 2007 7:12:34 GMT -5
" " I don't know maybe this makes me a very shallow person BUT if I had a choice for my self I will honestly tell you I would rather not have a disability if by some chance I had a choice. CC who just thinks way to much Just something else for you to ponder, have you thought about how maybe our kids are the normal ones and it's the rest of us who have the disabilities? Think about it for a sec, our kids/adults are about as close to being innocent as you can get, most of the time they are very non judgmental and it's the simple things in life that they seem to cherish and the love of family. Hmmm... maybe we could learn from them more than what they learn from us. :-) Why is it that we give them the title of Special Needs or refer to them as our special angels? I don't mean to add to your thought process but if you are looking for fuel for the food process that's one more view to look into. :-) We try to have them be accepted by society where maybe we should try to be more like them and less like what society wants? lol
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Post by wrblack on Feb 1, 2007 13:21:44 GMT -5
I agree with CC. Hingsburger writes well, often has good ideas and insights, but I think he's gone overboard on that post. I don't see myself ever looking at a baby and thinking, gosh, I hope that kid has Ds. Don't see myself wishing heart defect, greater risk for leukemia, mental retardation, developmental delays, nor autoimmune, thyroid, GI problems, and on and on, on any kid or parent or family either. I know I've seen a number of new or relatively new parents who seem to come to the conclusion that Ds is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Well, if that works for them, fine. But they'll have to excuse me for not joining in. I think I've consulted the experts, Jason Kingsley and Mitchell Levitz; and they told me, wrote, that Ds is a hard thing to deal with, but they were handling it okay. Now that's not to say that some kids, people with Ds can't occasionally enjoy some of the perks that accompany their condition, extra presents, added treats, special treatment, or even avoidance of unpleasant task by "playing the extra chromosome card." But they still have to deal with the difficulties, limitations, differences imposed on them by Ds. So, no, Ds is not something I'd wish on or for anyone. I've said before that Ds is not something I'd wish for my best friend--wouldn't want them to have the heartache--nor my worst enemy--wouldn't want them to receive such a blessing. Rodney Rowan put it much nicer, and more concise, "Having a child with special needs is a strange gift. It is not one I would ever wish on anyone, but would never give up having received it." www.fathersnetwork.org/590.html?page=590&SESSION=9326c741aa1165ec06bdec83cd11a33b&s=0 -- Bob, who's sorry if he's messed up the format of another thread by pasting stuff in
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