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Post by donnita on Mar 2, 2005 22:14:21 GMT -5
For a couple of days I have not been feeling my usual chipper, happy self. Please help me by telling me some funny jokes. Thanks, Donnita
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Post by Becky on Mar 2, 2005 23:06:17 GMT -5
A 4 year old boy came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mom that hed dropped his toothbrusch in the tolit. The mom fished it out and threw it in the grabage. He stood there for a moment, then he ran to his moms bathroom and came out with her toothbrush. He held it up and said with a smile "We better threw this one out to then, 'cause it fell in the tolit a few days ago. Hope you better soon Becky
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Post by Becky on Mar 2, 2005 23:17:21 GMT -5
These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods. On Sears Hairdryer: Do Not use while sleeping. (Gee, that is the only time I have to worlk on my hair" On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner!No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions:Use like regular soap. (and that would behow?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion:Defrost. (But it's only a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisum dessert:(printed on bottom of box) Do Not turn upside down. (Too Late! you lose) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. ( Are you sure? Lets experiment) On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (Wouldnt this save more time?) On Boot's Childrens cough medicine: Do not drive a car or operate mechinery. (We could do a lot reduce construstion accidents if we jsut kept those 5 years old off those fork lifts) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning:may cause drowsiness. (One would hope) Enjoy, some of these are better funny Becky
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Post by christie on Mar 2, 2005 23:26:15 GMT -5
Awwww DONNITA, K, hope this brings a smile to you, it certainly did me Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in he room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure ... go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by , the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$60,000" MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $ 900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: " Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
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Post by donnita on Mar 3, 2005 8:29:50 GMT -5
LOL
Thanks!
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Post by LisaRI on Mar 3, 2005 12:58:58 GMT -5
ULTIMATE FEMALE JOKE > > It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female > jokes. And there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female > joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will > pass it along to a woman who will love it. > > A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work thingytail > with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy > middle-aged man entered. > > He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. > > The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked > directly toward her (as all men will). > > Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over > and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you > want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition." > (There are always conditions) > > Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, > "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." > (controlling, huh?) > > The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a > $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with > her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully > said... > > "Clean my house." Lisa
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Post by Becky on Mar 4, 2005 0:17:42 GMT -5
How Smart is Your Right Foot This so funny that it will boggle your mind, and you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can out smart your foot, but you can't 1.While sitting at your desk,lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2.Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand, your foot will change direction. I told you so....... And theres nothing you can do about it. Dawn emailed this to me and thought I would share with you Becky
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