Kindergarten....to go or not to go?

[mom28js]

I am interested to hear at what age your children entered Kindergarten. Our son Jaden will be 6 next Oct., and at his last IEP a few months ago, they mentioned that they want him to go to K next fall. When I protested that I didn't think he was ready, they said he would never be "ready" for K, and it was more important to keep him with his age-appropriate peers, than his developmentally-appropriate peers.

Jaden has gone to a developmental preschool for the last two school years, but he's still barely 2 developmentally. He is almost totally non-verbal, although he knows and consistently uses quite a few basic signs, such as eat, drink, more, potty, all done, help, etc., and he is starting to imitate more beginning sounds, so we're hopeful that he'll eventually talk. He is also very small for his age, probably about the size of a "typical" 2-3 yr old. My niece was here this last weekend with her 3 yr old, and they were virtually the same size.

What have been your experiences in sending your children to K? Did they start when they were 5 or barely 6? Or did you keep them in preschool another year or two? They can't force us to send Jaden if we don't think he's ready, can they? I'm concerned that he's going to get "lost" in a room-full of typical kids who are learning how to read and do simple math problems while he's still learning how to talk and draw a straight line.

The school also doesn't plan on providing him a full-time, one-on-one aide, only a half-day aide, because they want him to learn how to do things "independently". Say what?!?! Do you think they're just trying to pull the wool over our eyes and not provide the services Jaden is entitled to by law?

Thoughts?

[Kristin]

My daughter started when she was 4 and almost 5 (October birthday). We argued with the district, ended up meeting with their lawyer and an legal advocate with us. It came down to the financial burden on the district of paying for the special pre-school when they could serve her in their kindergarten. In return, we were given 4 days of speech a week, and the option to hold her back in kindergarden. At the end of kindergarden we did not hold her back. She is delayed, but it was pointed out that we might want the time in high school, where she can stay until she's 21 and receive the extra year of living skills and job skills...something that I had not thought about at the time.

[Connie]

Hello and Welcome!!!

I live in Indiana and here kids do not have to be in a formal education setting until they are 7. So, I chose to NOT send Collin to Kindy at 5 but 6 instead. I had to fight the school district for this but....it was the best thing for him.

I can understand what you mean about not being ready but I think you will be surprized at how much he will actually learn if placed with peers his own age. It's like they pull him a long. He might not get all they are teaching but he will get some of it and to me that's a good thing.

Connie

[Emilysmom]

When our oldest son (now 26 years old) was 5, we were told by several friends who were teachers that it was very important for boys to start kindergarten a bit later (older) than girls to give them time to mature a bit. This was especially true for boys who have summer birthdays. Our son was born in July, so he didn't start kindergarten until just after he turned six. Our next son turned 5 in January, so he started kindy at 5 1/2.

When Emily was born, we decided that she would also need a bit more time to grow and mature before kindy. (Even though she had been in a preschool program and later a pre K program). She started kindergarten just a few weeks after her 6th birthday in a private kindergarten that had only 8 children. Then, when it came time for first grade.........even though she had done really well in the small kindy, we decided to put her in kindy one more year, but at our local K-8th school where her brothers attended. She was completely included at that point, and did really well. I don't know if it was due to having that extra time to mature, but it didn't hurt!! Now, however...............just as you mentioned: She is 16 years old and in the 9th grade (doesn't seem like a big deal because she's with all the same kids she started kindergarten with, and she's always been the same size as all her peers). But she'll graduate at age 19 and will have only a little over a year in the "post graduate life skills" program. We've heard so many really good things about that program. So, I think there are so many pros and cons each way!

Susan

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Brook's specialist says she will start pre-school when she is 3 and kgarten at 4 and so on. So that is what I will do. Her specialist who has been w/ her sence 2 weeks old will be her teacher for both pre- school and kgarten and the school is right around the corner yea for mom We already are getting her ready for school by having her back pack on w/ books inside when the specialist comes over and we say it's school time and the teacher is coming. When it gets closer to school time at the school outside of home we will somehow figure out how to do the transition. I haven't thought that far ahead yet
As far as letting the school "pull the wool over your eyes" or "bully" you into what they think is best or to not give your son the services he needs because it will cost them money, tuff luck for them. It's the childs right by law and they better come up w/ the funding!!!! I'm one of the meanest IEP mom's I know. I'm on top of the school like icing on a cake, to put it nicely They do not like to see me coming but over the years of IEP's w/ my oldest daughter, Mary, no DS, other stuff, I have learned they will try to "skate" by and not do their job properly if no one is paying attention. Stay on top of it and don't let them be the boss. YOU are the boss b/c you are the mommy!!! I need to stop now, IEP's and schools gets my blood boiling and I haven't finished my coffee yet
I'm in luv w/ this web sight... www.wrightslaw.com .... I use it all the time. Maybe you already know of it but if not, here it is. Lots of great stuff

[momofrussell]

I really think it depends on the child and the setting. It's really not JUST up to the school district, it's an IEP team decision and based on a child's needs. If you really would like another year before kindy, then state your case and let them know you think it's "appropriate" if your child waits another year. I think there are pro's and con's to BOTH sides.

Googsmom....you said the specialist says Brooke will go to kindy at age 4 and you will do that? What if that really isn't what is appropriate when the time comes? Seems premature for the specialist to tell you what Brooke will be doing as far as kindy right now.

A.

[Cathy]

Every Child is Different. Katie started Kindergarten when she was 5 1/2. She repeated Kindergarten this year and it made a world of difference. Just the maturity level. Katie is now ready for 1st grade academically, she will be the oldest one in her class, but I think having her in general education class where she can participate and is "academically" equal, with modifications is more important than being with her age appropriate peers.

I don't know about anyone elses kids, but Katie is in a perfect blend right now. I think academically and emotionally and socially she is on par with the kids she is in class with now. I hope that she can maintain this for a couple years.

Hugs to everyone

Cathy

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

A, you could be right. When the time comes for Brook to go to school, regular school that is, if I don't think she is ready, I will figure out a different plan. The pre-k and kgarten i'm speaking of is for DS kids only. She has classroom around the corner at the high school. They learn things to get ready for big girl school. I think she will go to a "regular" kindergarten at 5 then on to first grade, etc.. I will ask her teacher again just to make sure. I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. Even though I want to "push" Brook to be included in everything she should be doing at her age, I also realize that it always won't happen. I do have thoughts of "reality" but they are just few and far between

[meghans_mom]

Meghan started kindy when she was 5 1/2 also (turned 6 that Dec) and she did fine...but she was - in my opinion -- pretty ready for kindy. It was half-day, she was able to write some, feed herself, potty herself (although she was not fully potty trained..she needed reminders, help fastening clothes, etc) -- she did have a full time aide, and received all her therapies in the afternoons after school was done, so she wasn't pulled out during class time.

There is nothing wrong with waiting another year for your son to be "more ready" for kindy...you have to do what is in your son's best interest - NOT what the school *thinks* you should do...because are they saying this in your son's best interest, or because they don't want to pay for another year of preschool?
or some other reason?

Do they have another option rather than him being fully integrated in a typical classroom? maybe he can do a year in a self contained kindy, and then do a second year in the typical classroom, if he's ready, and that's the placement you'd like to see him in.

best of luck!!

[steffaroni]

;D ;D

Hi heres what Olivia did. She was 4 years old when she started kindergarten. She has a november birthday so we decided to go for it. She was in a sp ed kindergarten for 1 year. The next year she repeated kinder in our home school fully included with gr8 supports so the inclusion would work and she'd get a smooth start. Here's the kicker. Our kinder was only 1/2 day but Olivia turned 6 in November and here in cali it is required for a child to be in school full day at 6 yrs of age. So after kinder she would go to the sp ed class and eat lunch and do the rest of the afternoon in the sp ed class on the big yard with the 1st-5th graders. It was an awesome year and repeating kindy was a nice move for Liv I believe. So good luck to you and when you are gonna start I have a letter i wrote to the parent( when fully including Liv put it in the kids folders 1st day) with the help of MB here and it went over really well ask me n I will send it to you. K??? (((HUGS))) Steff

[jelanismom]

Hello, uhm...did you kidnap my son because you just described Jelani to the T!!! ;DLOL

For starters, Jelani was in 2 years of preschool also. During his 2nd year I was also in the midst of moving out of district, just me and my son to a new apartment and I was stressed-out and during his transistion meeting at the end of the school year, I felt cohersed into signing the transition to kindergarten and I obsessed about my hasty decision thinking OMG, he's not ready for this...he's non-verbal, he's not potty-trained....he isn't even matching his shapes, OMG he'll never reach his goals there! UGH what did I do...bad bad mommy and I tried to go back and change it ... nope, it was engraved in stone so to speak and the school's recommendation was to enroll him in kinder. So after returning to my composed mommy state of mind and returning the uhaul truck, I sat down and called to his preschool special education coordinator and school psychologist and discussed my concerns and explained that I signed the transition form to kinder out of "duress". She assured me that during the enrollment to the new district, I could visit the various school classrooms to see which would meet Jelani's level of needs. After his 30 day interim where Jelani gets accustomed to his new environment and the staff to Jelani, a school meeting would then take place (along w/IEP) and if the placement wasn't suitable, then they would offer other site options to be explored...

but guess what, the transition to kinder was the right recommendation, it's the school (class) placement that matters most. See, in Jelani's kinder class, his needs are being met and he has peer modeling and the ratio of aid to student is 3 to 1.
The other sites I visited were either too far advanced (sentences, math) or too medically compromised (g-tubes,wheelchairs...and Jelani would be climbing on top of those kids!!!) so the class he's in now is right on.
I think if you place Jaden in the Kinder class, you'll notice there are alot of similarities to preschool. I freaked out too and yet once I spent a while observing the class I saw how the same fundamentals are applied by the teacher, same daily activities...
Not to worry. 1st grade I will worry because now is still considered pre-academics.

Btw: Jelani is 5 years old, only 37 inches tall and 30 lbs..he's also in the same cognitive ballpark as Jaden. If you ever want to email me and chat then feel [e-mail]

D~

[jessjetland]

Sam has a summer birthday and started kindegarten right after he turned 5 in June. He wasnt quite ready but to our surprise he now knows all of his letters and can right his name. He is also started to read some words like no or stop. We have decided to hold him back next year as he is young but also because one of our long term goals is for him to read and they only teach reading in the typical classroom up until 3rd grade so it is everyones hope that he will have that skill by then.
Jess

[lukesdad]

Hi,
for what its worth I'd say your best bet is what you believe Jaden is ready for. Here in New Zealand kids typically go to Kindy at 3 years old 3 times week for half days and then five half days a week when they turn four. School when they are five. Our little man started kindy in Feb this year a couple of months after his third birthday. He has a one on one teacher aide and hasnt looked back since. He loves it. We also had the advantage on his having attended playcentre (parent run education centres pretty much play based) since he was 9 months old. We are hoping he will be ready for school at 5 but it weill depend on where he is at then. all the signs are good though, speech coming along, understands verbal instructions well (sometimes chooses to ignore them of course) and potty training is progressing. I think the key thing is setting appropriate and realistic goals, I also think they should be as age appropriate as possible. Our high school qualification over here is called NCEA and last year a boy with DS achieved that qualification and i think he was 17. Typicaly develomental children get it at age sixteen so that is pretty amazing. Good luck with your decision.

[Kaylis]

Hm. My older son did two years of Kindergarten too, because he was on the young end and not behaviorally ready for first. He's still not the oldest in his class and did very well in First academically and socially. This year his ADHD started causing real problems, but that's another story...

My big concern about holding back on starting K, or repeating it, is based in part on a book I read a few years ago about the friendships between kids with Ds and those without. The point that stands out to me still is that grade placement should be based on age not ability because our kids will develop interests (such as teen issues) at the same age (or near the same age) as their typical peers, not at the same developmental age. I've also read and seen a great deal about the importance of friendships that wasn't Ds specific. I'd rather Mikah had a real chance of friendships than that he is toilet trained (though I hope he is ), or able to keep up academically. Jaden sounds a bit like Mikah -- Mikah is also non-verbal and very tiny. Before he was walking being with bigger, more capable kids was a real problem, but he did very well in a age-matched classroom (or within 6 months) after that. Now he has an aide to make some things even better, but that's only been since the beginning of May. Jaden may really surprise you. Only having a 1/2 day parapro/aide may be a real problem worth fighting, though, at least at the beginning. Once he learns the routines and everyone gets to know each other (peers, teachers) he may only need it at certain times. Now, though, the teacher may be fighting right along with you once the year starts so he/she can do their job with everyone else .

[mydsgirl]

My opinion would be to send him on to Kindy and hold him back later. They are learning more in Kindy but are still playing quite a bit.