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Post by Kristen on May 6, 2005 17:03:22 GMT -5
-You have been told you are "in denial" by at least 3 medical or therapy professionals. This makes you laugh!
YES! Because you must be there beceause you think your child is perfectly well and on track in every way, right?
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Post by Kristen on Apr 12, 2005 11:04:46 GMT -5
You mean that's a problem? I thought that was life!
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Post by Kristen on Jan 4, 2007 14:23:44 GMT -5
For what it's worth...I was reading the thread for ideas to deal with my 3 year old NON DS child's resistance to potty training. She has me at my wit's end about it. I have heard of these methods or versions of before for training all kids, so none are out of the realm or possibility for potty training anyone, so I don't see where this is even a DS issue, except that we tend to be at it longer and try more methods than other parents. As for making them someone they are not...um, ok, my dog pees outside and dogs as a sepcies don't have potty training as a naturally taught response. If I let my dog pee all over my house becuase I was trying to make her somehting she wasn't, people would thing I was nuts. If I let my kid, who gets that this is what people do, but has decided to largely opt out of the activity unless she has nothing better to do, pee all over my house or go on in diapers untill she wanted to comply, she would be taking diapers to kindergarten with her at this rate. I would have the school and everyone else I know all over me. Notice I said SHE, that would be my daughter, who is totally typical. By attempting to potty train her and get her out of this little diva control freak thing she has going on, I am not making her into someone she is not. I am hopefully instilling values in her like self discipline and respect for the idea that she is not in charge here. So following that, as I try to also potty train my son, who gets it, but thinks it is optional, I am not making him into someone he is not. I am hopefully instilling the same values into him as well as reinforcing the concept of cause and effect, pride in accomplishment and self-confidence. Carter is a smart kid. I know he knows he is not just like most people. I cannot do a lot of things, but I would hope that by teaching him the same common societal expectations I teach my daughter, particularly in the case of a potentially embarassing situation if he were not to be expected to use the potty, I am showing him the respect he deserves as a thriving, functioning, valuable member of society. Therefor I stick by my words: If it's good enough for my dog, it's good enough for my kid!
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Post by Kristen on Jun 14, 2006 11:38:06 GMT -5
I am not savvy on trademark vs. copyright, but It hinkt here is a bigger issue her of what is the right thing to do. If she wanted to sell bumper stickers that said any of this stuff locally or didn't advertise here, I have a hard time believing anyone would know/care. BUT, that is not the case and this is the result of it. Getting tangled up in definitions does not negate the fact that it wasn't a very nice thing to do.
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Post by Kristen on Mar 30, 2006 16:12:45 GMT -5
Hmmm...OK, then I thought DS was teh be all end all nothing worse could have possibly happened ever. I thought Carter would have a horrible life full of alienation, teasing, failures and that the best thing I coudl do was stay in my house with him and not come out. Not long before, my career fell apart, I was sick duing the pregnancy with very poorly managed preeclampsia that nearly killed both of us and then one day I go to the doctor and BAM! Your baby is struggling, there is no fluid, there must be something wrong with you we didn't know, you're having a section NOW - don't even pack a bag, just GO THERE - then oh, he's OK! small but scrappy, then oh wait, he has TOF, intestines possibly incompatible with life (those two things were actually totally wrong - he's healthy as a horse), and a crooked pinkie, so probably DS. Have two sleeping pills, I'll see you tomorrow. I spent the first night calling people at all hours saying I had the baby, but he's probably going to die and if he doesn't he still has DS. Then I would cry and hang up. Darn that ambien. I thought (here's honest for ya) Fine. This is actually okay because no one wants me or my retarded baby, so we will go back to our house and stay there and we will just have each other. I was totally fine with that idea. I have never felt worse grief, pain or dread than when I thought of what surely laid ahead for Carter. I would say, but what if no one loves him but us? What if he never has friends? What if he is lonely? Why did this happen to him and not someone else? Why was he denied the chance for a good, normal life? I loved him immensely, but hated what had "happened to him" even more. I sent myself to a shrink. She said one day the love will be bigger than the hate. That thought kept me going for a long time.
Now Carter is almost 4. I did leave my house, believe it or not, and life is better than I ever imagined it could be! Carter is doing great and what he does not excel at, he sure tries darn hard to achieve. He is very well liked by kids and teachers at his school - the aides fight over who gets to walk him in most mornings! He has grown and changed SO MUCH since he started preschool - he is really coming into his own. He is not talking, which is tough, but he tries a lot mroe than before. He did not walk until he was almost 3, but then he met all his IEP goals for PT before the school year started, so go figure! He is so smart and intuitive and funny and charming and crafty and enchanting...Carter exudes oneness and love. He loves to be himself! The lessons he has taught us are valuable so far beyond the value I previously put on having what I thought of as the American dream of perfection. Every day of his life I have thanked him for being my son and for picking me. I would not trade him for anything.
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Post by Kristen on Mar 30, 2006 20:26:48 GMT -5
I usually have people approach me, but i have talked to several people with good results. I remember one time, Carter was very young and we were in the Wal Mart and this woman was ooohhhhing and aaahhhing over Carter. SHe was really STUDYING him, know what I mean? She walked away and CAME BACK to look at him again and said, he is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I don't know what it is about him, but he is SO beautiful! I am ashamed now to say that I didn't tell her he had DS, I just said thank you. It was in the early days and I didn't handle things well then. I also had a little old lady stalk us in a grocery store for like, four aisles before she came up to us in the meat department. She walked right past Sydney in a cart by Dave, who was a little baby and should be the attention magnet, right? Walked right up to Carter and held his hand and was smiling so big and looking into his eyes and talking quiet to him. Then she looks at me and says God bless that boy, you know when I was young they put kids like him in institutions. I am so happy you are letting him live his life like this. I was dumbfounded. That was quite a thing to say. I didn't take it bad, she was this little gray haired old lady, but I think that was a day that things were put in perspective for me big time.
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Post by Kristen on Mar 15, 2006 13:43:58 GMT -5
I hear ya, Lisa! I have "talked myself out of being sad" on his birthday, but when his due date comes around, then I "let" myself have a good cry over everything. Happy birthday to your TEENAGER - EEEKKKK!!!! What did she ask for?
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Post by Kristen on Mar 11, 2006 20:19:05 GMT -5
Carter's greatness is his heart. It is just so big. I was getting the kids a drink and Carter got his, but continued to stand like he was waiting. At first I didn't get what he was waiting for, but then one time he pointed at Syd's cup and said "uice" (juice without the J) I said you have yours, but he insisted. I gave it to him and he walked it over to SYdney, who was sitting in the family room and gave it to her, then went over to his chair and sat to drink his. Now he regularly "helps" when I get snacks or drinks by bringing Sydney's to the table, too, and putting it at her place or giving it to her. He also does other helpful things like bringing empty dished to the sink and throwing out his garbage without being asked. He is just a truly nice, helpful little boy.
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Post by Kristen on Mar 13, 2006 13:18:41 GMT -5
It's good that they recognize it can be hurtful and perpetuate negative stereotypes. The word itself doesn't bother me, but the misuse does.
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Post by Kristen on Mar 13, 2006 13:30:15 GMT -5
There are some around here and I think about them, but then I get nervous about it. I guess I am one for more structure than I will readily admit to! I thought we would send Carter to one, but then the time drew near and I got freaked out that he would miss out on therapies and it would be a nightmare, so we tried him in his school now. Overall we really like it and he is flourishing like you would not believe, so I am glad we made that choice. If the school was not the way it is, I would be considering it at this time for both kids.
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Post by Kristen on Mar 11, 2006 20:02:55 GMT -5
I'm sorry! I have heard about that shot and it's supposed to work really well. If you can, try taking a calcium supplement morning and night. Dividing it up help it work better. Good luck!
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Post by Kristen on Mar 7, 2006 13:51:16 GMT -5
WOO HOO! HAPPY B_DAY!
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Post by Kristen on Mar 7, 2006 13:50:41 GMT -5
You bet he can do a lot! Good for him! I, for one, certainly do not think you did anything "wrong"! Someone said that when you have a child the sky's the limit. Trus, but just like I don't compare Sydney (non-DS) to child prodigies, I don't compare Carter to kids with DS who are superstars either. I think they are both awesome, wonderful, beautiful kids. Syd is 2 and doesn't do long division, speak 3 languages (english is sketchy!) or play an instrument. Carter doesn't talk and can't run yet. They both have many great personal characteristics that I don't often see in their peer groups, though, and although they don't make it onto a scale of excellence, they excel at being themselves. It's easy to compare - there's a boy in C's class that has the exact b-day. I don't know what his dx. is, but i find myself comparing Carter to him - how goofy is that of me? It's natural, but at the same time, if you can recognize it and put it out of your mind, no harm done. Nicky sounds awesome and like he knows just how to work it
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Post by Kristen on Mar 3, 2006 12:28:00 GMT -5
I am a bad person to ask - when Carter was Gillian's age he already had 1 month old sister :lol Having them close together was the best thing I ever did for him. We planned on that before we knew anything about Carter's dx, but knowing he would benefit from a younger sibling made it that much more salient in our minds that it was right for us. Sydney is a very interesting, precocious little girl. She truly blows me away and is the best sister Carter could have had. They are best friends, she has taken on the role of being a caretaker to him and she loves him sooo much...I often joke that I think Carter picked us for his parents, but Sydney just used us to get to her beloved "Tarter" :lol
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Post by Kristen on Mar 3, 2006 12:23:26 GMT -5
Good for you! I have yet to find soemone who truly values Carter like that. I think they do, but then they say something stupid and that's the end of them. Closest I came was a nurse adn NP at a practice I don't go to anymore because I hate the people who own it - they have a teenage son with DS and they have some wacky, generalized thoughts about it (he must be allergic to dairy, don't have his testicle brought down because you are toturing the sterile boy, he needs xyz medication eventhough he has no signs of problems, etc.). I am very happy for you!
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