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Post by Claire on Jan 19, 2008 2:15:24 GMT -5
I actually e-mailed this to Adam's teacher and the Principal. I didn;t get an answer from the Principal but the teacher sent me an e-mail and she thought I should print it out and bring it at our next IEP. ;D
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Post by Claire on Jan 15, 2008 23:58:14 GMT -5
IEPs According to Dr. Seuss I do not like these IEPs I do not like them, Jeeze Louise We test, we check We plan, we meet But nothing ever seems complete.
Would you, could you Like the form?
I do not like the form I see Not page 1, not 2, not 3 Another change A brand new box I think we all Have lost our rocks.
Could you all meet here or there?
We could not all meet here or there. We cannot all fit anywhere. Not in a room Not in the hall There seems to be no space at all.
Would you, could you meet again?
I cannot meet again next week No lunch no prep Please hear me speak. No, not at dusk. No, not at dawn At 4 pm I should be gone.
Could you hear while all speak out? Would you write the words they spout?
I could not hear, I would not write This does not need to be a fight. Sign here, date there, Mark this, check that Beware the student's ad-vo-cat(e).
You do not like them So you say Try again! Try again! And you may.
If you will let me be, I will try again You will see.
Say!
I almost like these IEPs I think I'll write 6003. And I will practice day and night Until they say "You got it right!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Post by Claire on Jan 19, 2008 2:22:55 GMT -5
I love this but how do I post a picture here, I always do it in the albums.
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Post by Claire on Nov 20, 2007 23:09:41 GMT -5
WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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Post by Claire on Nov 20, 2007 0:26:17 GMT -5
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8... Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. 11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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Post by Claire on May 26, 2007 20:35:07 GMT -5
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 50) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't #9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
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Post by Claire on Apr 4, 2007 21:36:05 GMT -5
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this ... No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
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Post by Claire on Mar 3, 2007 13:49:13 GMT -5
THIS ONE IS SO SPECIAL. i LOST MY MOTHER AT THE AGE OF 7 SO i WOULD KNOW. > > > >One day someone's mother died. > >And on that clear, cold morning, > >in the warmth of her bedroom, > >the daughter was struck with > >the pain of learning that sometimes > >There isn't any more. > > > >No more hugs, > >no more lucky moments to celebrate together, > >no more phone calls just to chat, > >No more "just one minute." > > > >Sometimes, what we care about the most goes away. > >never to return before we can say good-bye, > >Say "I Love " > >So while we have it . . it's > >best we love it ... . > >And care for it and fix it when it's broken . > >and take good care of it when it's sick. > > > >This is true for marriage .... and friendships .. > > > >And children with bad report cards; > >And dogs with bad hips; > >And aging parents and grandparents. > >We keep them because they are worth it, > >Because we cherish them! > > >Some things we keep -- > >like a best friend who moved away > >or a classmate we grew up with. > >There are just some things that > >make us happy, No matter what. > >
> >Life is important, > >and so are the people we know . .. > >And so, we keep > >them close! > > > >I received this from someone today > >who thought I was a 'KEEPER'! > > > >Then I sent it along to the people ! > >I Think of in the same way! > > > >Now it's your turn to send this to all those people > >who are "keepers" in your life! > > > >Thank you very much > >For being a special part of MY Life! > > > >You are a Keeper! > > > > > >"Life moves pretty fast. > >If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, > >you could miss it." > > > >"Be > >kinder than necessary, > >for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"
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Post by Claire on Mar 2, 2007 0:09:15 GMT -5
When I'm an old lady, I'll live with my kids, and make them so happy, just as they did. I want to pay back all the joy they provided, Returning each deed. oh, they'll be so excited. I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues, and bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes. I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. I'll stuff all the toilets, and oh, how they'll shout. When they're on the phone and just out of reach, I'll get ito things like sugar and bleach, Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their heads, and when that is done I'll hide under the beds. When they cook dinner and call me to meals, I'll not eat my green beans or salads congealed. I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table and when they get angry, run fast as I'm able. I'll sit close to the TV, thru the channels I'll click, I'll cross both my eyes to see if they stick. I'll take off my socks and throw one away, and play in the mud until the end of the day. And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, and thank God in prayer and then close my eyes, and my kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping, and say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping."
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Post by Claire on Jan 12, 2007 0:00:04 GMT -5
Sorry I was already trying to lick my elbow before I was done reading, What a shocker when I read the last sentence. ;D ;D
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Post by Claire on Jan 11, 2007 23:58:01 GMT -5
;D ;D Funny. Thanks for sharing
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Post by Claire on Dec 26, 2006 1:45:42 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing. ;D
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Post by Claire on Dec 10, 2006 20:13:12 GMT -5
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I Clocked >you at 80 miles per hour, sir." > > The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, Perhaps > your radar gun needs calibrating." > > Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:"Now don't be silly Dear, > you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." > > As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife > And growls, "Can't you please keep you mouth shut for once?" > The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar > Detector went off when it did." > > As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar Detector > unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched > Teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" > > The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your > Seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." > The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it > Off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my > back Pocket." > > The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your > Seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." > And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver Turns > to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" > > The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does you husband always > Talk to you this way, Ma'am?" > > "Only when he's been drinking." >
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Post by Claire on Dec 10, 2006 20:09:32 GMT -5
Thanks for the good laugh. ;D
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Post by Claire on Dec 9, 2006 0:06:15 GMT -5
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile, It’s called Therapy.
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