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Post by rowdyro on Jul 12, 2004 14:10:04 GMT -5
OKAY..... I am Rhonda, sometimes referred to as Rowdyro or just Ro. I have been missing for a while due to the new life schedule but I always try to read:) The only problem is that Ya'll post tremendous amounts:) Never been divorced but OH have I been MARRIED:( It surely has its ups and downs I will hand ya that:)LOL I see that ALL the papers are in progress, locks changed and the dog is on the way:) I really like the dog bit:) What a greeting:) ARF! But what is in the furture for you and the kids? Do you have an education? or is this the time for a education as well? This being read back seems Invasive. But I really dont mean it to. If it seems that way to you I am sorry. Just curious as to which way things are heading for your family now:) Ro
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Post by kimclmnt on Jul 13, 2004 22:43:29 GMT -5
Well here goes the new update! My husband has moved 2 1/2 hours away, like he had planned before we seperated due to a traveling job. He will be coming back this way on Fri. we are talking of going to counseling together and as a family. Don't know if it will help or do any good but I am willing to try for our kids. The girls right now have started acting real bad and crying alot for their daddy. My oldest has alot of anger built up and she beats up her sister alot. I think for nothing else going to counseling will help with them also. We will just have to see what happens. I am still going for the temp. order next week and see how things go from there. We can't divorce for 4 more months anyway so that can be our trial time. I hope things work out for the best one way or another for my kids most of all!
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Post by shellk on Jul 14, 2004 18:46:55 GMT -5
;)Kim, Bless you honey...Which ever way this works out I hope that it works out for the best for all parties involved..Can't be easy...Still sending that positive energy your way girl
Michele
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Post by Alice on Jul 14, 2004 21:00:46 GMT -5
Kim, It is very good that you are trying to keep your marrige. Good luck, Alice
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Post by christie on Jul 14, 2004 21:15:16 GMT -5
KIM, Many blessings and positive thougths going out to you and your family from New Jersey. I know its much easier said then done BUT one day at a time girl is all one can do and in all this turmoil REMEMBER take time and be good to yourself CC
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Post by kimclmnt on Jul 19, 2004 18:51:44 GMT -5
Another quick update, We went to a counselor today and things seem to make since. They told him basically that he needed to do everyhting I have asked him to do. He did agree that he was alot a fault. He mad another appointment for Wed. that is a huge step. We go to court tomorrow and see how things turn out. Our lawyers are both being hateful. Mine is wanting everything. I hope things turn out ok tomorrow. I am not sure what I want right now. I do want to protect myself and my kids but I don't want to screw him so bad in court that if we decide to work things out then we can't because of the orders and it not being fair. I am so torn as to what to do. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for listening. It makes me feel so much better to know I can come here and vent.
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Post by Alice on Jul 19, 2004 20:12:21 GMT -5
Kim, What if you do some tests on your pregnancy(to find out it is boy or girl, health issues, and so on), to get a results and show them to your husband? May be after that he would be more new baby oriented and things will work better for you all. Just thoughts. Hugs, Alice
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Post by kimclmnt on Jul 20, 2004 9:01:40 GMT -5
We do know it is our little boy after 3 girls. I went in to have the amnio done but was unable to do it because of where the placenta is and they would have to go thru that and the risk was so great the Dr. didn't want to do it and me either. I am going tomorrow for the level 2 ultrasound and we should know something from that. I am giving him the oppurtunity to go for that but not sure yet if he is going. I have been cramping and the Dr. thinks it is because of stress, he did stay here at the house last night and took care of the kids while I laid down and rested. He just told me that maybe I need to go be checked out at the hosp. maybe he is trying to care. I don't know. I am trying to get court postponed since I am hurting and would rather not have more stress and cause more problems. Counseling went pretty good yesterday I thought and he did show up. He set up another appt. for tomorrow. So we will see what happens!
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Post by shellk on Jul 20, 2004 9:59:03 GMT -5
;)Girl I am praying for you in hopes that everything works out the way that you want it to ...Nice to hear that he is at least making an attempt ..My husband and I have had our share or things happen and let me tell you it is not easy ...I wish the best for you.
HUGS Michele
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Post by momofrussell on Jul 20, 2004 12:06:03 GMT -5
I am sorry I haven't responded to this post sooner. First off, a GREAT BIG HUG to YOU for going through ALL of this while being pregnant.!!!! As I was reading down the first half of the first page, I thought it was sad the DS got in the way, but also thought there had to be SOMETHING else to make him do a 180.. then I read your post about the girlfriend.... Unfortunately, it made WAY more sense after that... IMO, he used your child w/DS and your unborn child as his "out"... and i am sorry you have to experience that! I have been on the net for DS support for 4 yrs now (Russell is now 6) and have read how DS has strained marraiges. It IS an adjustment to some more than others. I didn't experience it personally, but know some who did. Some ended in divorce, some had the foundation to come back to once the shock was over. In order for ANY relationship to survive, marraige, friendship, whatever, there HAS to be an honest foundation in the beginning.. complete with honesty and TWO WAY communication.. and all parties making decisions together... again JMO.. but I KNOW without all that, it's just either going to be unhealthy while it's there, and/or eventually end up broken... So it sounds like your STB-EX never realized what he had nor told you HOW he felt before he RAN and told someone else... (or what ever he did with her LOL) and you don't deserve that! No one does! Make this time, the time to figure out the right path to go on, make it a good one for you and your kids. And then the next GUY that comes along, make it REALLY clear from the beginning what YOU need and who you are!!! ;D;D I have lived (submerged actually) around divorce and disfunctional relationships all my life... and I never once wanted that for myself.. I thank God that I have what I DO have with my husband. So don't forget you can't have that too! Be strong, don't fight in front of the kids (if you can LOL, I know it can be hard) and just do what is best for you and your children... even if no one agrees with it... it's what you need to do that will get you through it all! Hugs! Adrienne
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Post by Deannalee on Jul 20, 2004 13:03:33 GMT -5
Thanks for the updates. I know this is really pulling at your heartstrings trying to decide what is in your best interest as well as the kids. Look inside yourself to see what feels right. You can even make a list of pros and cons for both sides of the story....that is my mom's fave Try not to worry as much about him and his best interests right now....I think it will cloud your judgement more. As far as the whole amnio thing....if he can't accept the new baby for his genetics, "normal" or not, he should not be there. He should love him and support him no matter how God made him. I don't think you should have to do that darn test just to show him what is bakin in the oven, so to speak. I am praying for you and hope that whatever decision you make will be happy and healthy and safe. Take care. Deanna
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