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Post by Cbean on Aug 14, 2004 11:28:00 GMT -5
What a difference a night makes! I thought I'd check my email and be on the computer for 5 minutes and hmm, is it almost an hour already??? Figured I'd start a new thread (hope that's ok) since the Newbie Alert is starting to take on a life of it's own.  I can't believe I found this site. I hope others that are in my boat find themselves here soon. I hope they see my post and all the wonderful people who have responded to it. So it's been a week that I found out I'm having a girl and she has DS. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have found all of you. It's like finding a home away from home. Here I was mourning the loss of the "normal" child I was expecting and having such a "great time" at my private pity party.  You have all jump started me out of my funk to a point where so much fear has been washed away and I am actually excited and looking forward to seeing this little bundle of joy. I feel like you saved me from months of misery. I feel so much love for you all already and can't wait to get to know you all on a more personal level. I wish I could respond to each of you but unfortunately due to your overwhelming response you've made that impossible. I feel so blessed right now and if you were all in the same room with me I'd be bear-hugging you all. So far I've read the Holland essay - yes loved it, totally related to it. Devoured the "Light at the end of the Tunnel" and am planning to give a copy to the Prenatal Coordinator at my OB's office at my next visit. Have looked at so many of your pic's and family/children's websites that you might call me a stalker - but they are all so gorgeous it's becoming a drug that I can't get enough! All I keep thinking of now is that phone call from the perinatologist and remembering his final thought "you know you have options" - yeah ya dimwit! Like having this baby and picking out beautiful clothes and prepare a nursery, etc. In one day you have all offered me so much to look forward to that I want to throw a copy of all of your responses on his desk and make him read them before he calls one more woman with the same daignosis and offers her the "options". Why does everyone mention termination first???  Something we gotta work on! So to try to answer all your questions, I'll try to recap and give some info. As you know I am Christine, 37. I live in Middletown, NJ - any NJ's out there, let me know - I'd love to meet you and your families. I am wife to Al, mother to Ryan 4&1/2. I'm a stay-at-homer and a lousy homemaker. About baby: she is due 12/26/04. She has no name. I am so looking forward to that argument with DH! Ha ha! As a child, many of my pets existed for weeks w/o names. (Thinking we should have a name that baby contest!) Echochardiogram is already scheduled for 9/10. Right now, that's the main thing I'm really sweating.  You have all eliviated so many fears that now I will only fear the real stuff. It will be my pleasure to share the next 4 months of my pregnancy and the birth of my girl with you. I look forward to plastering her face all over this site. Warning folks...you may get sick of me. Sorry for long post - but had to get it out of my system. Hope you finish reading it with swelled heads and inflated egos! ;D Love to you all - go out and have a great weekend! Christine |
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Post by meghans_mom on Aug 14, 2004 14:27:44 GMT -5
Christine - you sound like a terrific person and I think that having someone like you (meaning a mom-to-be) here and being able to help you by whatever -- offering words of encouragement or books, articles, etc - means alot.
when the dr. suspected meghan having DS, they were like time is of the essence for testing, because you have decisions to make.
and i didn't get it...i was like decisions? what decisions?
my OB would have been thrilled had i terminated -- and that's ONE of the reason's he is no longer my OB :-)
anyways - you sound like you're doing great...and we hope to hear more as your pg progresses.
good luck w/ the echo, etc!
hugs, laurie
PS - we're in NY on Long Island, and I know we have a few NJ-ers here.
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Post by Deborah on Aug 14, 2004 19:01:18 GMT -5
Hi Christine and welcome! After the doctor's nurse called to tell me the news of my baby having DS, she told me I needed to come in to see the doc and discuss "my options". I told her there was only 1 and that was to have a baby. URG!! I was so upset that was even mentioned. I totally agree with you and have had this conversation with my OB-GYN. I let him know he is to give my phone number to any patient who needs it, especially if they are afraid and thinking about termination. Anyway..glad you are here. I am mom to 4 kids: 3 boys and our angel Jennifer who will soon turn 5 where has the time gone?  I don't want her to grow up! Hugs, Deborah |
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Post by christie on Aug 14, 2004 21:55:18 GMT -5
Hey CHRISTINE, I am Christie aka CC to some  married to the most WONDERFUL HUBBY in the world, aka Colin. We live in Northern New Jersey, Bergen County with our daughter Kodi Lee 15 and our little Character Christopher 11 and 1/2 (DS) and our 9 year old Golden Retriever aka Goldie ;D Can't say I ever heard of Middletown New Jersey  would that be South Jersey?? Dani, Zane"s Mom, Annette, Ashley's Mom and Bob, Charlie's Dad I know are all from Jersey and I do believe there are others here too from Jersey Christopher too is a December baby, great time of year to have a baby. BESTEST holiday present ever CC ~ |
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Post by christie on Aug 14, 2004 23:10:57 GMT -5
CHRISTINE, just got your email girl and responded HOPE you get it, should be there right now Kerri, Yosh's Mom too here at UNO is from NJ also Give me time and I will remember everyone here from Jersey, LOLOL but I know there are others CC ~ |
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Post by Cbean on Aug 14, 2004 23:11:04 GMT -5
The one thing I keep hearing about is the less than tactful way we Moms-to-be are informed of our children having DS. Someone should create a pamphlet for all these doctors. It's really starting to bug me!  Look at me - I've gone straight from feeling sorry for myself to getting on my high horse! Weeeeeeeeee! Help! I can't stop reading! Hugs, Christine |
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Post by LisaRI on Aug 14, 2004 23:51:33 GMT -5
Christine YOUR ADDICTED TO UNO MAS ALREADY!! ;D ;D I have to come here everyday! Congratulations on your pregnancy! Lisa ~  |
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Post by christie on Aug 15, 2004 0:58:07 GMT -5
CHRISTINE, when my Chris was born 11 and 1/2 years ago a friend of my sisters who's son also had DS gave me this poem and for me I cherished it and read it every day Hope you don't mind I just thougth I would share it here with you... God Chooses a Mom for a Disabled Child by Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen ? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew." "Forrester, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia." "Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God ? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter ? That would be cruel." "But has she patience ?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independance. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy." "But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness ? Is that a virtue ?" God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less then perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it ! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. "I will permit her to see clearly the things I see --- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice --- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." "And what about her patron saint ?" asks the angel, his pen poised in midair. God smiles. " A mirror will suffice." CC, who now is signing off to get some zzzzzzzz's |
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Post by Cbean on Aug 15, 2004 15:06:33 GMT -5
Thanks Christie - for the poem and for our "sidebar" conversation as well!
Gotta run for the tissues. Get some stock in Kleenex folks. After the past couple of months and with the ones to follow, I'm sure I will be a huge contributor to increased sales!
Sniff sniff!
Christine
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Post by shellk on Aug 15, 2004 20:46:20 GMT -5
I have to admit that I have never seen that poem before and I myself am running for the tissues That is beautiful.. Christine...What names do you have in mind any name you have always liked...My girls names are Kaylyn Ciann, and Kourtney Meckel. And they have K as there last intial..Dh thought that was dumb ...but, I think they have good yelling names Michele |
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Post by Staci on Aug 15, 2004 23:36:33 GMT -5
Christine, congratulations on your baby girl! You sound like you're going to be the most wonderful mommy to her! My little guy who has DS is Aidan...he'll be 4 next month! Whew, time flies! I was 23 when I had him and we didn't know until AFTER he was born that he had DS! It, along with his health probs, were a huge surprise! But, he's doing great now...he's such a cutie pie! I couldn't imagine my life without him...he truly amazes me every day! He's my guy. He is loved and he brings the most amazing love and laughter to our home. I also have a little girl named Parker. When I was pregnant with Parker, we learned she had a heart defect. Being pregnant and knowing something is up with the baby you're carrying is such a roller coaster ride...so stressful and strenuous, worrying about the unknown. You sound so upbeat and positive! You hang in there...that baby girl is going to bring so much joy to your life Take care and I can't WAIT to meet her! Staci Aidan 9-19-00 Parker 5-27-03 here's Aidan's site www.geocities.com/lanea242000/index.html |
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Post by Robin on Aug 16, 2004 9:57:29 GMT -5
Christine....LOLOL now that you have been properly welcomed to unomas....I so agree with the name that baby contest!!!!! However I have to tell you we gave lots of advice to Connie (mom to Collin)who had a baby girl and didnt choose my names (LOL yes I gave her a bunch) and I have never recovered from it but hey dont feel guilty, LOL!!!! I love lots of names, most especially GABRIELLE or GABRIELLA, hmm also Sage is a very unique name and so is Brooklynn and then I love Kennedy and I love Cassidy and I love Isabelle and I love Reagan and I love...hmmm you get the picture right, good thing I had all boys I guess as I would STILL be picking out a girls name for my first son as I cant seem to decide on just one:D
I know what you mean about those doctors and their way of handling the news of DS. We werent as brave as those of you, we never had to choose whether to keep Chase or not as we didnt know he had DS until his third day of life and we were told with a simple sentence of "your son is a mongloid" Talk about knocking the breathe out of someone, we were devastated and the doctor was shocked  that we were upset. Today if someone were to use that word in regards to my son, I quiver to think what kind of response I would have for them.
Anyways, on to good thoughts, your soon to be beautiful daughter! I will keep her in my prayers for a healthy new start at life! Chase was born with no problems what so ever thank God for that. And what a great Christmas gift for your family. You could wait a few days and have her on my youngest son's birthday which is January 1:D
Once again, welcome and yes, I am as weird as my posts appear to make me but never fear..there are several more just like me here, LOLOL! ;D 
HUGE {{{HUGS}}} to you!!!
Robin
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Post by Cbean on Aug 16, 2004 10:44:10 GMT -5
Robin...if you think you're weird, hang on...you ain't seen nothin' yet! I think we may need to have the "name that baby contest" as just yesterday I told my husband that I liked the name Emma and his face looked like he was going to  !! My 4 year old son liked it, but he would also like to call the baby Boco. Why is my soon to be 5 in December son starting his own language??? He is also in denial that the baby is a girl. He insists it's a boy. Well that's a joke on him. Thank you for the names...I'll never mind receiving them at all...I actually am getting a big kick out of it. However do not mind when I don't pick any of your choices. ;D Can't do Brooklyn as I was born there...sorry, lived it, not gonna happen. My husband being the conservative Republican that he is, well you can forget Kennedy! LMBO!!! (That's as far as I will ever let politics get into a conversation - promise!) I'm going to give it a little more time and if DH and I don't come up with something soon...well you just might see the official Name that Baby Contest on the message board! OK, I just gotta ask b/c I actually am quite shocked! How old is Chase? I really can't imagine in the past 4 decades a doctor using the term mongloid...is that word even in Webster's dictionary anymore??? Phew! I said it before and I'll say it again...we have to educate these doctors on how to speak to women in a correct and professional manner. Just goes to show all that money for a fine education and all those smarts still does not gaurantee "tact" or "class". I think my reaction to him would have been a right hook. Getting back to the names...part of me wants something endearing and sweet as I believe my daughter will perpetually be...then I want to give her something brave and victorious - like the warrior I want her to be. Giver her a name to help set her path in conquering the world. I kind of like the name Lara...as in Lara Croft. I loved the Tomb Raider games, loved the movies and there's just something about Angelina Jolie that I adore. (Maybe it's just wackos appreciating wackos! I'll admit she's an odd bird!) I would also love to have a killer body like that, but I guess that'll only happen if I'm a contestant on the next Swan. Alright, I better shut up before I scare all of you away! You guys have made me smile so much these past few days - thank you!!!  Hope your day is great, Christine |
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Post by Danielle on Aug 16, 2004 11:16:30 GMT -5
Welcome Christine!! I'm a fellow NJsian, too -- live near CC in Northern NJ, as well. My little guy, Zane, is 2 1/2 and just simply the most amazing kid in the world. I am so impressed with your attitude already and just know this little girl's life is going to be filled with love and happiness with you as her mom. ;D
Anytime you want to chat or even get together, that'd be awesome. Not sure where you are in NJ (Southern?) but NJ isn't that big, right?
Take care,
Danielle
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Post by Danielle on Aug 16, 2004 11:18:50 GMT -5
Oh, and how could I forget to mention -- Zane was born 12/27/01 -- so your little darlin' may be almost exactly 3 years younger! HOW FUN!! ;D ;D
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You have all jump started me out of my funk to a point where so much fear has been washed away and I am actually excited and looking forward to seeing this little bundle of joy. I feel like you saved me from months of misery. I feel so much love for you all already and can't wait to get to know you all on a more personal level. I wish I could respond to each of you but unfortunately due to your overwhelming response you've made that impossible. I feel so blessed right now and if you were all in the same room with me I'd be bear-hugging you all.
Something we gotta work on!
You have all eliviated so many fears that now I will only fear the real stuff. It will be my pleasure to share the next 4 months of my pregnancy and the birth of my girl with you. I look forward to plastering her face all over this site. Warning folks...you may get sick of me. 
I don't want her to grow up!
married to the most WONDERFUL HUBBY in the world, aka Colin. We live in Northern New Jersey, Bergen County with our daughter Kodi Lee 15 and our little Character Christopher 11 and 1/2 (DS) and our 9 year old Golden Retriever aka Goldie ;D
would that be South Jersey?? 
that we were upset. Today if someone were to use that word in regards to my son, I quiver to think what kind of response I would have for them.
!! My 4 year old son liked it, but he would also like to call the baby Boco. Why is my soon to be 5 in December son starting his own language??? He is also in denial that the baby is a girl. He insists it's a boy. Well that's a joke on him. 