Susan, I thought of Emily when I saw this....

[rickismom]

Thank G-d Ricki has never shown signs of OC. She has her likes and dislikes, but normal in range. But thanks for posting this!

[Emilysmom]

Thanks so much for posting this Laura! There are quite a few interesting articles here to read!! I loved the "groove" one.....and it really does describe Emily. I think it makes so much sense that she is simply trying to put some "order" to her world.....never mind that it makes her room look very "UNorderly" to her mom!! As CC said, it is not affecting her life and she is always willing to STOP doing the movie/book/CD quilt thing if it's time to leave the house or do something else. She's definitely "grooving"!

Susan

[christie]

Hmmmm RICKISMOM, just wanted to say that your post made me think Many times here at UNO the subject has come up that Most here don't like when they hear Ohhhh I am sorry your baby/child has DS. Hope you will hear me out and not take this wrong but I have posted in this tread that Chris is OC and being treated for that and hearing one of our own say "Thank G-d Ricki has never shown signs of OC" Hmmmm I may have misunderstood but how would you feel if I said "THANK GOD Chris does not have ADHD like RIcki does YES I know none of us want our children to have anything wrong BUT I and CHRIS truly are having a HARD time with this and coming on here for support and seeing THANDK GOD my kid doesn't have that makes me sad, I must admit.

Makes me wonder why I come here at all?? in ALL honesty

CC ~

[laurasnowbird]

Awww, Christie, please don't fret. I'm sure Ricki's mom didn't mean it like that at all. I know that Ethan has so darn many issues that I feel grateful for any that we haven't faced yet, cuz some days I just feel like I couldn't deal with any more.

There are many here who have not had to deal with the sensory issues that we have with Ethan, and frankly, I wouldn't wish them on anyone. I'll take anyone's words of comfort or wisdom on the subject because there are days that the battle has beaten the life out of me. But I probably would be a little saddened if someone said "thank God we aren't dealing with that", because we are already frightened by it and feeling a little isolated.

I guess it's a lesson in putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Although it wasn't my post, I'm sure Ricki'smom didn't mean anything by it, and for myself, I am sooo sorry that you were upset by it.

You are a great mom, Christie, and definitely part of the "bedrock" of Unomas. Huge cyber hugs going out to you tonight, girlfriend!

[laurasnowbird]

Susan

I'm so glad that the article has made you feel better. I think there are things we all do that are "grooving", although ours may be harder for other people to pick out. We all need down time! Some people do crafts, some knit, some veg in front of the TV, etc.

I admit to being curious what "grooves" Ethan will create for himself.....time will tell!

[Alice]

CC,
I am sure you are a wonderful person and mother.
But I have this question for you:
Why do you think that only you have rights to express your feelings here?
I do not see anything wrong with Rickismom's post.
Alice

[christie]

ALICE ~

I NEVER ever said Rickismom post was Wrong. I just expressed how her post made me feel. She is entitled to post what ever she wants as I am to express how I may feel, or so I thought

I didn't feel I was yelling at Rickismom just sharing my feelings and my ? to Rikismom was not meant in a bad way, just wondering how she might feel? Heck it may not bother her at all. We are all different. If I said anything that was out of place to Rickismom I will be the first to say I am Sorry to her. And Rickismom if I did PLEASE know I am sorry, TRULY

I just was trying to share that sometimes when our kids have other issues, hearing THANK GOD thats not me can make one feel the same it may when someone says to you THANK GOD my kid doesn't have DS. KWIM??

BUT if you go read my post again ALICE you will see, I believe, I never said she was WRONG.

So in answer to your question I do NOT feel I am the only one here that is free to express their feelings, ideas or whatever. I actually LOVE to hear others feelings, even if they differ from mine as much as I love to share my feelings when they differ from others.

If I have come across at UNO that I am the only one with rights to express their thoughts or feelings, I TRULY do apologize to anyone that feels that way.

Guess its time for me to

CC ~

[shellk]

:-*CC~~

Do me a favor and don't keep your mouth shout. I happen to appreciate your mouth, and value your advice and opinions. I saw nothing offensive in what you posted about the ?? to RICKISMOM, and she probably won't either. We all get offended at times, and I can see where it would hurt to read something like that, especially if you are living it. Here's to you and Mr. Chris



Michele

[meghans_mom]

None of my business & I know I should shut up, [but can't] and please dont take offense...but Alice, since you are not dealing w/ what CC is, maybe that is why you didn't see anything wrong with the other post. CC was simply stating how something she read made her feel...she didnt say the other person was right or wrong, she didn't say don't post because I am the only one who has the right to post here or express my feelings...she simply felt sad because of what was stated and she has every right to do so without someone else jumping down her throat.
last i'll say on the subject (but I reserve the right to recall myself at a later date).
laurie

[Alice]

Why we should feel offensive of other posts?

If someone is happy that her/his child doesn't have DS or problems related DS, why I should be upset for that?
Why someone is upset that the other is happy that her/his child doesn't have problems?
Please do NOT spend your time answering these questions.

Take it easy!

CC, I am sorry that you have hard time (but who has not?).

[christie]

ALICE, I have said I am sorry if I came across wrong and I have tired to explain where I was coming from Hmmmmm BUT that doesn't seem to be enough for you??? Tell me what will it take for you to let this go???

What is it exactly you are looking for from me??

Just wondering dose this have anything to do with my replies to your post On "Passion of the Jew"??

Have to be honest, heck what do I have to do, cause for some reason you are on my case here I have had many emails from many others just today, wondering the same exact thing, Hmmmmmm

I am sorry, what more do you want from me???

CC who is now deleting UNO from my favorites cause I really I don't need this I have enough to deal with. I don't need to come here for stress I have enough without this going on and on. Soooo please let it go and if Rickismom has a problem with my post let her say and she and I will work It out I am sure, because in my OPINION she is a lot more reasoable then you ~

Geeez you asked where people are Hmmmm maybe just Maybe this kind of attack is why they are not here Just a thought not an attacik

CC aka HISTORY, Hope this makes you happy now

[Alice]

CC,
Actually this discussion should be in private...

I am VERY sorry that my posts make you feel that I want to hurt you or so... It is probably your misunderstanding of me...

1. "What is it exactly you are looking for from me??"

~ I want you not to feel upset of other people's posts.

2. "Just wondering dose this have anything to do with my replies to your post On "Passion of the Jew"??"

~ NO and NO and one more time No, it does not! We all grownups and have our opinions and I am one who respect that right.

3. "Have to be honest, heck what do I have to do, cause for some reason you are on my case here I have had many emails from many others just today, wondering the same exact thing, Hmmmmmm"

~ If they have that question, they better ask me not you, right!

4. "I am sorry, what more do you want from me.."

~ Nothing! Just want you to be not upset and do not see me as your enemy.

5. "CC who is now deleting UNO from my favorites.."

~ Please do not do this, you will be greatly missed here!

6. "CC aka HISTORY, Hope this makes you happy now"

~ NO, CC, I am not happy for that.

Alice

[Robin]

Susan called me last night to see how we were and why I wasnt here lately, okay, since after Labor Day weekend. I asked what was going on here and she gave me a brief up date. She told me about this thread and I have to admit, this is the reason I have not been here. What happened to the old unomas board where one could share their feelings and thoughts without being bashed, where one could say hey you offend me and it was settled betwen those two without other people sticking their nose into the mix up and offending more? Where people could tell stories about their children without being critized or condemned?
Unomas used to be the first place I came when I had a second to breathe, it was like home, I knew we were part of a huge family full of love and acceptance. Then came the day I read the post saying stories about bad behaviors were not a good thing to post and we might scare new parents. Bam, in that instant my heart was broken and I have not told another bad behavior story about Chase that comes to be funny after time passes. Uomas quit being a second home and I havent been here nearly as much as I used to before then. If my son and his behaviors arent accepted here at a DS board, then please tell me exactly where we can be accepted??? And that means that all of the new people have no idea what life with my child with DS and ADHD is like. No new families know how fantastic my child is, how cute and hysterically funny he can be, or about the difficult times we have and still face with him. No one who may be experiencing the same thing will know that my family is a wealth of information or that I am here for them to lean on. I posted a thread about a difficult time I was having with Chase one day and what I did to solve the problem and instead of hearing any postive feed back, I got critism because someone here didnt approve of what I did, even though that person doesnt know me or Chase or any thing about us. Luckily not many people saw the thread, it was on the message board and God in his wonderful way messed up the message board and removed about three or four pages that were never recovered I am not here for petty nonsense, I am here for support, for friendship, to both give and get. I loved hearing stories about our kids, with and without a second disability. I WANT to hear stories about Chris and his OCD, I want to know how CC and her family feel, how it affects their life and I want her to know I am there for her, to listen, NOT to JUDGE or give ADVICE to her when I know nothing about what their life is like at home with OCD. I WANT to know about Ricki and her ADHD and Sarah and her ADHD and what life is like at home for them, what they do, how they handle it, I want to hear about Russell and what his family and he are dealing with, I want to hear about Chris and her baby to be and how she is doing and feeling, I want to know about Deannalee's son and his health issues, how he is doing, I want to hear about Emily's new classroom the school is trying, I want to hear about Livvie and her funny funny self.......I want to hear about all of our babies and children and adults. I want to know ALL of this...but I do NOT want to see people giving unwanted advice or critism about things they have never had effect them. I want to hear all about our kids with DS, the good, the bad and the ugly. I want to hear us say to one another, I am sorry you are having a hard time. I want to hear us say to one another, it must be hard. It is okay to think how grateful you are that your child doesnt havent the same problem as long as you dont say it out loud to the person dealing with that issue. That hurts. And I know Rickismom never intended to hurt CC, that is not her way. And CC I thought handled it quite well. But it is not okay for someone not involved to stick their nose into those hurt feelings and make it worse. We are here to comfort, share, heal, love and help one another, not be hateful. Stop and think before you post something that could hurt another. Alice, that was most hateful of you to be so rude to CC for no reason, and it didnt involve you, I am surprised at you for attacking her that way!
Okay, I said what I came here to say, my tears are flowing, I have alot of love invested in unomas. Some of my best friends are here. So if we arent all accepted here tell me, where then do we belong?
Robin

[rickismom]

Oh gee I wish I had seen all this earlier!
First, CC You should know me well enough to know I didn't mean it negatively.
I have so many problems with Rickis schooling due to her ADHD that I am gratefull to the Almighty that I do not have an additional problem to have to deal with. (at least in the meantime---) I worry about the possibility sometimes, and frankly I hope she never has OC behavior (at least not in a large way) because it will make her life much harder (just as the ADHD makes it harder for her to keep friends.)

But that does NOT mean that I feel any less for a child who has "extra" problems.! ! ! Each child is precious in and of himself (in my belief) because he is a PERSON and all people where created in the image of G-d. (Sadly, some people cover up and tarnish that image very severely, by being evil to others. But that is not the norm.) And frankly, when people say "Oh I'm glad I don't have a kid with DS", this generally means
"Oh thank G-d I didn't have such a PROBLEM (monster? ) like you did."
Here they do not see the child as a child, only a problem. And this reaction is very negative.
However, if they say "I am glad that my child NAME doesn't have DS" then they are generally saying:
"Oh, I am gratefull that my kids are healthy. That makes my life easier. But I will accept whatever challenges come my way." This is I think a normal and acceptable thing.
CC are you REALLY not gratefull for all the higher risk things that Chris DOESN'T have? And if you would say "Thank G-d Chris doesn't have ADHD" quite frankly I would agree with you! Because I know that it would be concern and care for Chris that would prompt that statement. I would be happy for you! That is not, in my opinion, at all like saying "I am so sorry your baby has DS", which is a statement that is general used in a way that is packing your kid up in a box labeled DS and not seeing anything else there.
* * * * *
Also, there may be a cultural thing here in play. Many Orthodox Jews (including me) will say "Thank G-d" about many many things (Thank G-d I got the kids off to school without a hassle this morning....), but maybe you doen't use that phrase so casually, and therefore took my statement as much more negative than meant.

I hope I have explained myself, and CC please believe me that I did not mean this statement negatively as regards Chris.

And thanks to all who told CC that I didn't mean it that way-- because I didn't--- but I am sorry this all led to an arguement!

And CC, I know that you just wanted to raise a point. I didn't take it personally. Not at all.

Lets all try to be as supportive as we can, and assume the best about the others on the board.

CC don't you dare take Uno Mas off your favorites.

And Robin, I definately miss CHASE stories....!

[Alice]

I promised myself do not post here any more, but after careful reviewing of my posts looking for what was seemed to someone being an "attack" but other's posts - "thoughts", I have found that:

"Please do spend your time answering these questions."
That was NOT MEANT TO BE, sorry my typo error, I lost the whole word "NOT". OMG, it made so big difference....

To make things clear:
The sentence should be:
"Please do NOT spend your time answering these questions."

Anyway, English is not my first language and it is very easy for me to make mistakes, so I am leaving Uno Mas to make every one happy.