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Post by Emilysmom on Oct 11, 2004 9:44:47 GMT -5
Now Alice.....you don't really believe that leaving Uno Mas is the answer do you? (not for you OR for us!!) You've been here with us for many many years and have been supportive to all of us and I believe we have been supportive to you too!! As I've posted before....it really is very natural and "family-like" to have disagreements!! We share so many deep feelings here and it really does feel like a second family to me. Unless our families are really unusual, I think we have hurt feelings and misunderstandings in our own families from time to time. We work hard to understand each other and to respect each other's opinions and we learn and grow through that process. Anything GOOD takes work!! Internet relationships are no different.....how can they be? We are just a bunch of individuals, from different backgrounds, with a very common bond.....our children with Down syndrome. We'll still disagree at times, and that's ok. Let's keep working on how to do it with as little pain as possible!! ~ NO ONE needs to leave Uno Mas! I remember several years ago when Alice and I had a series of disagreements and....hey I admit it....I was constantly posting MEAN things to her!! I'm not proud of that at all, and hate to even remember those days. However, we started a series of private emails and started to truly understand each other. It made all the difference in the world about how we both felt, I think!! I started looking forward each day to a new email from her because a friendship was developing and it was so much more fun and positive than our posts back and forth. When my mother passed away nearly 2 years ago, Alice was one of the most supportive people of all to me!!! NO ONE needs to leave Uno Mas. Let's just keep working on our relationships!!!
Susan
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Post by rickismom on Oct 11, 2004 11:44:38 GMT -5
If one can disagree in a family, all the more in a site like ours. There are no voice inflections, no visual clues--- so please lets try ALL of us to try and not take things to heart! It is said of Aharon that ALL Israel mourned him...Why? Because he went around making peace between people. So lets please try and copy him a bit!
And I HIGHLY recomend private posts when you think that you want to repremand someone.
Alice, this board needs ALL of us. Hope you will change your mind.
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Post by Alice on Oct 11, 2004 13:12:29 GMT -5
Susan,
Thank you very much for writing to me. You really warmed my heart... I appreciate that a lot... Thanks! Frankly to say, it was very hard to make that decision not to post on Uno Mas or not to come and read. I have to say that I had more good days here than bad, I had support, I enjoined posts and people whom I met here and their kids....
But after these stressful days I do not want to feel myself foolish or hateful or be a problem for someone to come here. I just was trying to stand by someone who, I though, may be offended, but translated as an attacker for some crazy reason. Ones again: I do not care who belongs to what religion or nationality, or they like or not Mel Gibson, or a political party. I always stand for the truth and for weaker people; that I was taught all my life. I just felt that I have to stand for Rickismom who I thought, did not deserved that "...THANK GOD Chris does not have ADHD like RIcki does.." after hers "..Thank G-d Ricki has never shown signs of OC..."
OK, I had learned that I should not stand for anyone anywhere even if I feel that this person is offended.
I will always have my background, my unpopular opinions, English with Russian accent, and willing to help others no matter who they are.
All I wanted to say, actually the same thing as you all are saying: that all have rights express their feelings bad and good and not to be shouted up.
I am writing this and I am not sure if I am understandable/clear to them, or they just do not want to understand me.
I think, I need some time off to improve my knowledge of English, American women, and American culture.
Rickismom, private posts is great thing! I agree! Uno Masers should use it more often. (Actually, in real life - not on internet - I have a very good American friend and she understands everything I am saying to her, and she did it even when I just came here 12 years ago - having very poor English. And this is because she accepting me for who I am and she always wants to understand me.)
Take care and thanks...
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Post by Emilysmom on Oct 11, 2004 14:28:37 GMT -5
But Alice....your friend probably has a much easier time understanding because you speak to her in person. I think there are fewer misunderstandings in person because we can SEE the person and HEAR their tone of voice, etc. I also think that some of us are a bit more opinionated than others and a bit more willing to share our different opinions. (most times I fall into this category myself!!) Others THINK different thoughts but keep them to themselves.
I also think it's normal to occasionally feel the need for a "break" from Uno Mas.......a SHORT break! I hope everyone will come back after short breaks!! I have to admit that Uno Mas does make me THINK about Down syndrome a lot more than I normally do. Generally, although Emily has Ds, I don't spend a lot of time focusing on the Down syndrome part of her until I come here and read other posts related to Ds health/education/social issues. Honestly, there are days when I just want to think about other stuff!! I hope that's normal too.
I hope everyone will continue to post here, while being mindful of the feelings of others.
Susan
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