Post by Emilysmom on May 4, 2006 19:52:05 GMT -5
I wanted to share about some stuff that has happened recently with Emily.........it has had my stomach in knots and my heart all torn up too, but I hope we are on our way to some positive things now.
I have gotten a few calls lately from one of Emily's teachers, and went in to talk to her in person the other day. It seems that Emily has been doing some "odd" stuff, and all the teachers are concerned about it. She seems to be withdrawing a bit, not talking much at all, and on the playground she is removing herself from the other kids and standing in one certain spot and carrying on a very lively conversation with herself.
( One teacher tried to talk to her about it without any luck, so I tried.......and had even less sucess! She just did NOT want to talk about it at all.
So, we headed to the Ds clinic today to see a developmental psychologist. I was really impressed with this woman, because she did an awesome job of bringing Emily out of her shell and getting her to respond to her questions. She did not talk down to her at all. She just asked questions and then sat still and waited till Emily answered them. I have found this to be SUCH a problem, normally! Many times, people ask her a question, and when she doesn't immediately answer, they toss out a different question to her and she has to start all over with forming her response.
The most heart wrenching part of this visit was when the psychologist asked Emily what she liked to do at recess. Emily shrugged and said "I don't know". So, she asked Emily what all the other kids did on the playground, and Emily said "The boys play basketball". The woman asks her "Would YOU like to play basketball"? (I thought she would say YES, and the teachers had been saying they were afraid Emily was feeling intimidated because the 8th grade boys ..... BIG boys tend to dominate the court during recess). But, she giggled and firmly said NO, she did not want to play basketball. The woman asked her if she wanted to swing or play tetherball, and Em said no. Then, she asked her what all the other girls did at recess and Emily said "just walk around and talk". Lady says "would YOU like to walk around and talk"? And without missing a beat, Emily said "OH, I WISH I could"!!!!! It was the most perfect, clear, firm speech ever........and it really hurt to hear it. Apparently, it seems that no one has told Emily she CAN'T walk around with the other girls, but she doesn't FEEL like she can...........and she acted like it was because she didn't feel that she could keep up with the conversations. So, the counselor talked to her quite a bit about how she could just hang with the girls and she didn't NEED to talk....she could just listen. She seemed happy about that. I gotta tell you; the whole conversation seemed fairly grown up and also sad to me. The counselor said she wasn't worried about Emily NOW, but said there is a very high rate of depression in teens with Ds and we should watch closely for any early signs of that. Within just a couple minutes of our visit, Emily was laughing and making jokes with her and she said it was a very GOOD sign.
Another thing that seems to be getting WORSE for Emily is her lack of eye contact with people. At home, she is very animated and looks right at us when she talks. At school, the fact that she tends to either close her eyes or look downward when people talk to her, really seems to put people off...........I mean, if I was a teenager, I would hesitate to talk to someone who refused to look at me! So, this counselor spent quite a while with Emily working on this. They practiced several possible scenarios, and Em answered her while looking directly at her. She also enjoyed having me get asked an occasional question too.........and I made sure to make VERY good eye contact!
It started out to be a stressful day.........I was worried that it would be hard for Emily to talk about all of this, and she tends to associate the Ds clinic with lab tests and shots. But, when we left the hospital, She said to me "MAN! THIS was fun"!!! We headed out to eat and to do a bit of shopping, and that really was fun! A good day afterall!
The IEP meeting is scheduled for one week from today, and the psyhcologist is sending a letter to the team with recommendations for Emily.
Susan
I have gotten a few calls lately from one of Emily's teachers, and went in to talk to her in person the other day. It seems that Emily has been doing some "odd" stuff, and all the teachers are concerned about it. She seems to be withdrawing a bit, not talking much at all, and on the playground she is removing herself from the other kids and standing in one certain spot and carrying on a very lively conversation with herself.
( One teacher tried to talk to her about it without any luck, so I tried.......and had even less sucess! She just did NOT want to talk about it at all. So, we headed to the Ds clinic today to see a developmental psychologist. I was really impressed with this woman, because she did an awesome job of bringing Emily out of her shell and getting her to respond to her questions. She did not talk down to her at all. She just asked questions and then sat still and waited till Emily answered them. I have found this to be SUCH a problem, normally! Many times, people ask her a question, and when she doesn't immediately answer, they toss out a different question to her and she has to start all over with forming her response.
The most heart wrenching part of this visit was when the psychologist asked Emily what she liked to do at recess. Emily shrugged and said "I don't know". So, she asked Emily what all the other kids did on the playground, and Emily said "The boys play basketball". The woman asks her "Would YOU like to play basketball"? (I thought she would say YES, and the teachers had been saying they were afraid Emily was feeling intimidated because the 8th grade boys ..... BIG boys tend to dominate the court during recess). But, she giggled and firmly said NO, she did not want to play basketball. The woman asked her if she wanted to swing or play tetherball, and Em said no. Then, she asked her what all the other girls did at recess and Emily said "just walk around and talk". Lady says "would YOU like to walk around and talk"? And without missing a beat, Emily said "OH, I WISH I could"!!!!! It was the most perfect, clear, firm speech ever........and it really hurt to hear it. Apparently, it seems that no one has told Emily she CAN'T walk around with the other girls, but she doesn't FEEL like she can...........and she acted like it was because she didn't feel that she could keep up with the conversations. So, the counselor talked to her quite a bit about how she could just hang with the girls and she didn't NEED to talk....she could just listen. She seemed happy about that. I gotta tell you; the whole conversation seemed fairly grown up and also sad to me. The counselor said she wasn't worried about Emily NOW, but said there is a very high rate of depression in teens with Ds and we should watch closely for any early signs of that. Within just a couple minutes of our visit, Emily was laughing and making jokes with her and she said it was a very GOOD sign.
Another thing that seems to be getting WORSE for Emily is her lack of eye contact with people. At home, she is very animated and looks right at us when she talks. At school, the fact that she tends to either close her eyes or look downward when people talk to her, really seems to put people off...........I mean, if I was a teenager, I would hesitate to talk to someone who refused to look at me! So, this counselor spent quite a while with Emily working on this. They practiced several possible scenarios, and Em answered her while looking directly at her. She also enjoyed having me get asked an occasional question too.........and I made sure to make VERY good eye contact!
It started out to be a stressful day.........I was worried that it would be hard for Emily to talk about all of this, and she tends to associate the Ds clinic with lab tests and shots. But, when we left the hospital, She said to me "MAN! THIS was fun"!!! We headed out to eat and to do a bit of shopping, and that really was fun! A good day afterall!
The IEP meeting is scheduled for one week from today, and the psyhcologist is sending a letter to the team with recommendations for Emily.
Susan
&
Susan, Proud mom of Michael (32), Justin (25) Emily (22ds), and Jordan (20).
Hmmm I am thinking here, any chance you may be able to get a service like this for Em, you know like someone she can talk to bout things, through your district to help Em open up a bit more and work on that eye contact?? I mean Man look how well this one visit went, could you imagine how much more GREAT stuff might come out of a few more visits, KWIM 
and in this case I am right :-*and all is going to be fine with my girl. I know what I am speaking of because you see..... I know Emily and she is seriously my idea of one awesome young teen with DS. So no negatives here today buddy, our girl will be fine, she ROCKS mister and is very self assured and independent and has great self esteem, none of what you are talking about extends to our girl Emily....of this I KNOW!!!!!!
?? But, to hear that lately she has been PREFERRING to do this on the playground, rather than doing anything else was nothing short of gut-wrenching to me. I don't think that has to be the "norm" at all!! I think that with more role-playing between her and everyone who loves her (I was amazed at how well she responded to this, and thought it was FUN), and some creativity on the part of the teachers on the playground..........not to mention a few positive experiences where Em realizes it is MORE fun to hang out with friends than to seclude herself, I think we can get her back to the place where she only does this at home in her room. Thanks for posting the links. I'll read them a bit later. I remember a discussion here a while back about "grooves", and it made a lot of sense to me. I'm not about to fling any mud your way. I appreciate that you care enough to respond. 
