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Post by Jodi on May 7, 2005 17:00:26 GMT -5
Starting now, I've decided I'm going to leave all the challenges, disappointments, frustrations, heartache, and advocating alone and just enjoy being a Mom ;D. Well... at least until Monday anyway LOL!!
I hope you all can do the same, and realize what amazing moms you all are! Hug your kids, get lost in their smiles, and enjoy the day ;D
Hugs to all of you!!
Jodi
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Post by Jodi on May 7, 2005 1:32:38 GMT -5
For years you know the assumptions people associated with people having disabilities was pretty negative. Now we realize everyone has different abilities... it's not one size fits all, KWIM. We're still dealing with a little ignorance here, but it's getting better.
Look at what has happened with Russell lately - I guess I just want there to be at least an attempt to include Ryan to the best of HIS ability - and not based on assumptions. Unfortunately our kids miss out on so much because they are labeled, and with the label comes assumptions, and we are full-circle.
I think our kids at least deserve a chance to try thinigs and experience events like those kids without any disability would. They won't be able to do everything, but they should be respected and at least given the opportunity. Saying 'treat them like any other kid' is just another way of saying 'don't assume they can't' - KWIM?
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Post by Jodi on May 7, 2005 0:45:03 GMT -5
Hey A ~ I think we need to go have a margarita together 'cause this week stinks!! How can they have been so off base on this? Ugh! Not to throw a pity party or anything... but sometimes I think "... and this is my life" refering to the painful experiences I go through that other parents/teachers are blissfully oblivious to. Sometimes I get jealous. After the pain dulls, I get back to work to try to fix the last mess so it doesn't happen again... but I tell ya sometimes it seems like there's always a new mess waiting in the wings. In the back of my mind I know that Ryan won't be able to do everything I hope for. I know that Ryan will be capable of doing some things though, but he won't be given the opportunity because someone else doesn't give him a chance. It's when issues like that are right in my face that I have a difficult time dealing with it all. Seems like this has happened to you two weeks in a row - first McDonalds, now this... UGH!! My heart goes out to you A. I'm sure when you feel better you'll make things right - afterall - that's what we do best .
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Post by Jodi on Jun 4, 2005 21:58:16 GMT -5
I'm loving the avatar and Thomas pics. Too darn cute!
I wonder if she likes to watch things move... Ryan has always like to roll things. He frequently asks for a blanket and marbles or cars - he will make paths in the blanket for his toys. He'll do it for hours if I let him.
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Post by Jodi on May 7, 2005 1:08:07 GMT -5
Well, I got a copy of the "incident" report. More attempts to not take responsibility... it gives a detailed account of all of Ryan's "bad" behaviors - I mean very, very, detailed... but when we get to the office part... interestingly the details become extremely vague!! Basically it says that he came to the office, sat and did his work, and then left unobserved... then he was found. That's pretty much it LOLOLOL!!! Nothing about the P, nothing about the 1:1 leaving, nothing about the doors being wide open, no information regarding the lady who brought him back... etc.
In addition, the P has changed his story AGAIN.
I talked with the lady who found Ryan today... she is STILL ticked-off over how the whole thing was handled. Without ANY input from me whatsoever - she stated to me that she felt they were trying to "cover-up" their mistake - rushing her to leave. I'm glad she said that because she is a total stranger to me and she feels the same way I do. And... sadly, she mentioned that the school secretary and his aide scolded Ryan waaay too much. I told her she was an angel - and thanked her repeatedly for being in the right place at the right time!
I requested that the P amend the report to include ALL the facts, or at least allow me to attach a parent response to the report. Haven't heard back from him yet.
I am a detailed note-taker (happens to be part of my profession) and I will tell you it has come in real handy for this latest deal. I've got dates/times/details and all of that has made my responding so much easier - no guessing about what may have been said, KWIM?
I think we will be meeting on Tues or Wed next week.
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Post by Jodi on May 5, 2005 20:36:36 GMT -5
MB I was in the middle of writing and didn't see your response.
I understand where you are coming from. I can choose to really burn this guy... I mean really take him for a ride over this - but I'm not going to go that. What I am going to do is make sure the truth of the matter comes out, and that we take appropriate action.
I am not at all comfortable with the "cover-up". The subsequent lies concern me. And he is coercing staff to lie too - not my problem - but yet another concern.
What if he HAD been straight forward? Would I still have responded this way? I honestly don't think so. When the P first told me that Ryan was "found" in the parking lot, I was freaked out, but I had no intention of doing anything (see my first thread - It Finally Happened...)
I realize, because I've seen it here - it happens. How the P REACTED is just too out of line for my taste.
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Post by Jodi on May 5, 2005 19:54:34 GMT -5
Thank you all for your suggestions and support - the last 24 hours have been just too crazy. At least the headache is finally gone. I was working on my written response to the whole situation when I received a number of calls from the district concerning the incident and follow-up. Some calls were from people who were in shock, others were from higher up on the chain wanting to pressure me into meeting like NOW to resolve the matter. Three critical people are at a conference in DC until Monday, and I really would rather they attend the meeting. I had one call wherein the rep from the district stated to me that I know Ryan would be perfectly safe especially in light of what had happened, that I COULD take him to school, I was just CHOOSING not to. He went on to say that they offered to meet (on Friday when 2 key people on the team are out of town), I'm refusing to meet, I'm refusing to send my child to school, and that as a result I'm refusing services. At this point I'm laughing. I told him, I can't meet at the time/date given because I'm not available - and neither are other team members, that nothing has changed at the school to lead me to believe the incident wouldn't happen again, and I am considering requesting services in another setting. I tell ya this guy was GOOD at dropping all the "buzz" words to make you panic, but I didn't bite - I think I was too tired LOL! Funny, he called me back a minute later and offered to give me a form to file a compliance complaint. Another interesting development... I was informally offered to place Ryan in the setting I was thinking of having him go to next year... hmmmmm.... silver lining? Anyway, I sent an email to the P, copied the program specialist, service coordinator, director of spec. ed., superintendent, behavior specialist. I stated that I didn't think it was safe for Ryan to return until we met. I stated that the school placed Ryan in a dangerous situation by neglecting to properly supervise him resulting in him leaving the campus for an unknown amount of time. I further stated that the P failed to inform me of the details of the incident, purposely withheld information, and that it was my belief that they were trying to down-play the whole thing to avoid any trouble. I specifically told him he failed to supervise, follow the IEP and follow the behavior plan (he get's an "F" LOL). Some of you had posted "where was the aide". The P TOLD the aide to leave Ryan WITH HIM and to come back in a few minutes. She did what she was told - he's the boss. Except when she came back, Ryan was gone. Out of compliance here on so many levels! Allisa ~ he took responsibility when he directed the aide the leave Ryan with him - end of story. About the lady who found Ryan... the school refused to give me any information. They didn't take down her information when she brought Ryan back, but the secretary recognized her (her daughter went to school there several years ago). They looked up the info., found it but refused to release it - well, I kinda understand the privacy thing, but they said they would call and ask for her permission to release the info to me. Gee, they didn't call me back yet... LOL. I'm going to call them tomorrow and request that they give her my number... I doubt I'm going to get anywhere, but I would LOVE to thank her. I heard through the grapevine that she called the Spec. Ed. dept. and complained about the whole incident and who the school personnel was terrible about it all. Hey A. ya know last night I was just going nuts over this, but now I feel I'm back in "control" so I think it will all turn out okay LOL!! I'll keep ya posted... wish me luck!
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Post by Jodi on May 4, 2005 21:43:26 GMT -5
Okay, I posted earlier about Ryan being found in the school parking lot today at school. Well, I only got half of the story. It turns out that Ryan actually left the school, and wandered around the corner and down a street. A lady found him in her yard and took him back to school. Waaaaay different than what the P told me!! The P has now repeatedly lied to me to try to cover up the severity of the issue. Fortunately I have some friends at this school who have given me the full story. Ryan, was in fact, in the principal's care. He dismissed the aide (told her to come back in a few minutes) and at that point took responsibility of Ryan. When she returned, Ryan was gone. She asked the secretary if he had gone to the SDC, she said no - then the search was on. When I talked to the P, he told me that there were office personnel nearby and he felt okay having Ryan sit there without someone really watching him. Turns out, the doors that lead outside - which are right next to the office, were left WIDE OPEN. He was gone for up to 15 minutes before anyone noticed. I have called a local legal advocacy group for advice, and I'm waiting for a call back. I'm not taking Ryan to school tomorrow. There have been other incidents, but this one takes the prize. I keep thinking... what if??? What if that lady didn't find him, what if he got hit by a car, someone took him... I think the P knows that he messed up but I'm so not comfortable with him going there right now. Doesn't feel safe at all!! The P talked about behavior yada yada yada - but not once did he acknowledge that he blew it!! AND HE'S THE PRINCIPAL!! OMG!! My mind is like oatmeal right now. I asked him point blank who was supposed to be responsible for Ryan. He finally admitted that he was. I found out about the lady bringing Ryan back to school by a witness. I had two conversations with the principal and not once did he mention that Ryan was actually off the school grounds. The witness gave me a description of the lady, and I went door to door to try to find her tonight - no luck. I decided to check if the school was still open. It was, and the principal was still there - what luck. I decided to go in and ask him if he had the information on the lady, and he looked surprised (bet he wondered how I found out) - but he couldn't provide it to me - said the secretary had it. OMG Just remembered, when the lady walked back with Ryan, the secretary approached them and said "Ryan, who told you you could leave the office?" Yes... blame Ryan I have so many thoughts racing through my head right now. Ryan has an ID bracelet on, why didn't the lady call any of the numbers? I really hope I do get to find her so I can thank her! I want to call an emergency team meeting, but three members are at a conference in DC right now . I just don't feel right about having him go back to school. I asked the principal what actions have been taken - he said that staff has been properly trained IN THE PAST - but NOTHING was being done about today's incident (other than a report about it and fixing the broken door). I thank my lucky stars that Ryan is safe. I'm so ticked off though... I don't think the P should get away with how he handled this. I'm frustrated because Ryan has a behavior plan, and visiting the principal isn't on the list, let alone leaving him in the office unsupervised. In addition, his IEP calls for a 1:1 - what happened there??? My head is just pounding - any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Post by Jodi on May 4, 2005 21:50:20 GMT -5
Debi, Just saw your post. I thought I was getting the full-story but NOOOO. I just started another thread to see if anyone had advice - legally- regarding this issue that has unfortunately become much worse than what I had posted about. They do have a behavior plan that's usually pretty effective - but going to the P's office isn't a part of it! I'm with you in thinking he's on overload right now. We have two different issues here, and unfortunately the disappearance has taken a front seat right now - I'm not at all comfortable with taking him to school in light of what has happened today .
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Post by Jodi on May 4, 2005 11:31:40 GMT -5
I got a call from the principal regarding an "incident" at school - I thought it was another poopoo problem Well, I was told that Ryan was having trouble with transition this morning, and so his aide took him to the office to see the principal. The prinicpal told him he had to do his work (don't think he really undertsood that), and then he sat in the office to work independently. The secretary checked his work, and told him to "keep at it". The principal said that she turned around "just for a second" (yeah, right), and then "he was gone". They found him a minute later IN THE PARKING LOT!!! The principal said that he is putting in a work order to get the door fixed (apparently that's how he got out), and that he would write up an incident report. He said he wanted to talk with me first hand and assure me that everything would be done to make sure it didn't happen again.... hmmmm... I explained to the principal that Ryan had the same trouble last year, and that it seems like there are too many changes occuring at once in the classroom (preparing kinders for first grade - more independent seat work, less circle time, different seating arrangements, etc etc), and that I'm sure that is causing some of the behaviors to come out. I'm not sure going to the office was the proper course of action. I asked that he make all persons who work with Ryan aware that, unless they KNOW the area is secure, they are to be 100% on Ryan - and I also asked that this be included in the report. Ryan's program specialist is out of town right now . I get the feeling, ESPECIALLY with the secretary, that some people just don't get it... and you can't teach common sense
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Post by Jodi on May 4, 2005 9:48:44 GMT -5
Hi everyone.
Ryan hasn't had PT for more than a year now. He has met most of the typical milestones at this point, and the PT recommended to discontinue services, which I was totally fine with.
I just requested an evaluation for APE. Although he is doing pretty good, I think with more help, his coordination could improve - ie catching a ball, kicking a ball, riding a trike, etc.
So, if your child receives APE services, can you tell me what they work on?
Thanks!!
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Post by Jodi on May 4, 2005 9:34:03 GMT -5
Ryan will be seven next month, and hasn't lost a tooth yet. I frequently check for a loose tooth, but nothing yet... ;D
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Post by Jodi on May 4, 2005 9:42:12 GMT -5
Hey A! I learned to replace "more appropriate" with "appropriate". If someone suggested another site was "appropriate" and I didn't like it, I would reply, "nope, NOT appropriate". It gets kinda funny - word playing like that! Instead of saying, "this site would be more appropriate because it has x, y, z..." I would say, "this site IS appropriate because it has x, y, z..." KWIM? BTW - Ryan's IEP is THIS MONTH - yikes - no matter how much I learn I still get a little freaked-out .
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Post by Jodi on May 4, 2005 9:55:54 GMT -5
Alright Luke! ;D (wish there was an icon with a tooth missing LOL!!)
Now you got me thinking... so I posted a new thread on the tooth loss topic!
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Post by Jodi on Jun 2, 2005 16:58:45 GMT -5
Do you ever get overwhelmed and just lose it? I've been mentally out of it for a couple of weeks now. I've never been like that... usually I bounce back... but this time it's different. Feels like I'm in the middle of the ocean in a sailboat with no wind... just stuck - not moving forward or backward - stuck.
I've been reading some posts and haven't been able to think clearly enough to respond to anything appropriately. I gave a rather grumpy response to "They are such happy people" - or something like that. Hope I didn't offend anyone.
I know it's been a combination of many things - Ryan leaving the campus, starting at a new school, more rumors causing conflicts, etc. Then there are the new things - comments made. For example, our neighbor just had a beautiful little boy. I was visiting yesterday and she received a call from an agency. When she finished, she told me they wanted to know how the baby was doing. They represented the agency that did an amnio and wanted to know if the results were on target. My neighbor said - "I told them, yes, he's perfect... all fingers and toes and no extra chromosomes..." ... is my mouth still open? Anyway, maybe I'm just being overly sensitive because of all the "stuff" going on in my life, but I'm not dealing with such comments very well (or maybe I am - I didn't say anything).
I hate when people single Ryan out because of him having Ds. Am I not at peace? Comments like "My brother has a neighbor that is downs..." "What's it like have a downs", "My cousin is downs" it's like Ryan isn't even a person - just hate that. Maybe I focus on Ryan being accepted by others too much.
Anyhow, someone forwarded an article about a special olympics event wherein 9 contestants lined up to run a race. The gun went off, and 8 of the contestants took off, while the 9th took a bad tumble. The other contestants heard him cry, stopped, and went to him. A girl with Ds kissed they boy's owie and told him that would make it all better. Then the 9 of them locked arms and went around the track together, and finished together. Hearing that story (I sure hope it's true) made me appreciate Ryan even more. Maybe his intellegence level won't allow him to develop hatred and selfishness, and to make STUPID comments.
Thanks for letting me post my thoughts -
Jodi
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