Post by Emilysmom on Jan 12, 2006 20:36:13 GMT -5
Warning........this is really long, but I have to share it here:
I think I can now honestly say that I have had the most UNUSUAL experience in my life since Emily has been born! And.......as with everything else, I HAVE to share it with all of you. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it!!!
Tonight, I took my 3 kids out to eat (Fazoli's.....fast food Italian place. We love it!). Near us was a family who we recognized, but really don't "know" well enough to talk to them. Just sort of recognized their faces. I knew that they had attended our church at some point in the past and that the boy (maybe 10 or 11 years old?) was recently one of the leading characters in a community play. We go on about our business, eating/laughing/talking and ended up leaving the place a couple minutes after that family did.
When we all got into the van, I started to back up and realized there was a car blocking the van and the dad had the window down and was motioning for me to stop. He said his son wanted to talk to us. But the son would not get out of the car. So, I say thru my window "do you want me to come over there"? And he nods. So, I walk to their car to find the 2 kids in the back seat looking totally terrified. He tells the boy to tell me what he wanted to tell me and the boy clams up and looks like he's going to cry. At first I was thinking that maybe Jordan had somehow done something to the boy and he was afraid to tell me about it!!!
Then the dad says to me........"My children were laughing at the girl at your table (sigh, Emily) and we have talked about it. They had big plans this weekend, and I gave them a choice of apologizing to you or giving up their plans". At that point, the kids (quivering like crazy!!) come out with a very sweet "I'm sorry". I didn't know at first if I wanted to CRY, yell at the dad for putting the kids on the spot like that, hug the kids or what to do!!
But I just took a deep breath and asked the kids "were you laughing because my daughter looks different"? And the boy immediately says emphatically "NO!" But the dad stops him and says "yes you were. Don't make it worse by lying. Just talk to this lady". Then quickly, the little girl (must have been 8 or 9??) says to me "we were laughing because your daughter sort of closes her eyes and chews different". At that point, I relaxed and started in..............told them that I could understand that it does look a bit funny, and that Emily had just recently developed this weird habit of chewing like that (just a very exaggerated chewing motion) and closing her eyes, and I know she'll stop doing it soon. It just seems like the more we tell her to stop it, the more she does it! You know how kids are!!" At that point, they both relaxed and giggled a bit.
I went on to tell them that even though Emily LOOKS a bit different and chews her food a bit different, she was SO much like them. She likes to read and sing and dance and do probably all the same stuff they like to do. She wants more than anything to have fun and to have friends......just like you do." At this point, they are smiling at me and nodding. I explained that I went on to tell them that I do understand that she can LOOK different, but she totally understands when someone makes fun of her or laughs at her. I said.....that would hurt your feelings wouldn't it?" They both smiled and said yes. The dad thanked me and said he really appreciated the fact that I talked to them.
Before I left their car, I told the boy that our family had seen him in "Aladdin" and LOVED his performance and that I hoped we would see them at church again soon.
As I walked back to the van, I was on the verge of tears............and not sure if it was because I was sad that these kids truly had been laughing at Emily, or just emotional because MAYBE these 2 kids were going to see her and others with "differences" in a better way after our 'talk'. I did choose to NOT explain the situation to my kids when I got back in the van, and thought about it all the way home; questioning if I had said the right thing, etc.
INTERESTING experience, huh??? I want to add that, at first, since this guy caught me totally off guard.......it sort of hit me in the gut that he had actually told me that his children were laughing at Emily! I guess I've been pretty naive about that........knowing that some kids give her a double take, but sort of thinking that total strangers didn't just outright LAUGH at her. That hurt!! But in the end, the kids were smiling and not looking so terrified, so I'm thinking it worked out well.
Susan
I think I can now honestly say that I have had the most UNUSUAL experience in my life since Emily has been born! And.......as with everything else, I HAVE to share it with all of you. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it!!!
Tonight, I took my 3 kids out to eat (Fazoli's.....fast food Italian place. We love it!). Near us was a family who we recognized, but really don't "know" well enough to talk to them. Just sort of recognized their faces. I knew that they had attended our church at some point in the past and that the boy (maybe 10 or 11 years old?) was recently one of the leading characters in a community play. We go on about our business, eating/laughing/talking and ended up leaving the place a couple minutes after that family did.
When we all got into the van, I started to back up and realized there was a car blocking the van and the dad had the window down and was motioning for me to stop. He said his son wanted to talk to us. But the son would not get out of the car. So, I say thru my window "do you want me to come over there"? And he nods. So, I walk to their car to find the 2 kids in the back seat looking totally terrified. He tells the boy to tell me what he wanted to tell me and the boy clams up and looks like he's going to cry. At first I was thinking that maybe Jordan had somehow done something to the boy and he was afraid to tell me about it!!!
Then the dad says to me........"My children were laughing at the girl at your table (sigh, Emily) and we have talked about it. They had big plans this weekend, and I gave them a choice of apologizing to you or giving up their plans". At that point, the kids (quivering like crazy!!) come out with a very sweet "I'm sorry". I didn't know at first if I wanted to CRY, yell at the dad for putting the kids on the spot like that, hug the kids or what to do!!
But I just took a deep breath and asked the kids "were you laughing because my daughter looks different"? And the boy immediately says emphatically "NO!" But the dad stops him and says "yes you were. Don't make it worse by lying. Just talk to this lady". Then quickly, the little girl (must have been 8 or 9??) says to me "we were laughing because your daughter sort of closes her eyes and chews different". At that point, I relaxed and started in..............told them that I could understand that it does look a bit funny, and that Emily had just recently developed this weird habit of chewing like that (just a very exaggerated chewing motion) and closing her eyes, and I know she'll stop doing it soon. It just seems like the more we tell her to stop it, the more she does it! You know how kids are!!" At that point, they both relaxed and giggled a bit.
I went on to tell them that even though Emily LOOKS a bit different and chews her food a bit different, she was SO much like them. She likes to read and sing and dance and do probably all the same stuff they like to do. She wants more than anything to have fun and to have friends......just like you do." At this point, they are smiling at me and nodding. I explained that I went on to tell them that I do understand that she can LOOK different, but she totally understands when someone makes fun of her or laughs at her. I said.....that would hurt your feelings wouldn't it?" They both smiled and said yes. The dad thanked me and said he really appreciated the fact that I talked to them.
Before I left their car, I told the boy that our family had seen him in "Aladdin" and LOVED his performance and that I hoped we would see them at church again soon.
As I walked back to the van, I was on the verge of tears............and not sure if it was because I was sad that these kids truly had been laughing at Emily, or just emotional because MAYBE these 2 kids were going to see her and others with "differences" in a better way after our 'talk'. I did choose to NOT explain the situation to my kids when I got back in the van, and thought about it all the way home; questioning if I had said the right thing, etc.
INTERESTING experience, huh??? I want to add that, at first, since this guy caught me totally off guard.......it sort of hit me in the gut that he had actually told me that his children were laughing at Emily! I guess I've been pretty naive about that........knowing that some kids give her a double take, but sort of thinking that total strangers didn't just outright LAUGH at her. That hurt!! But in the end, the kids were smiling and not looking so terrified, so I'm thinking it worked out well.
Susan
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Susan, Proud mom of Michael (32), Justin (25) Emily (22ds), and Jordan (20).
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&&Mommy to Griffin (96), Gray (97) Collin (00) enhanced and Lauren (02) the little princess.